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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary school have requested younger siblings don't go to parents evening

366 replies

Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:01

Problem with this obviously is that it means one of us can't go, and I know the other parent will feed back but it's not the same as you can't ask any questions on an as and when basis.

AIBU to think it's a bit unfair?

OP posts:
Letseatgrandma · 04/05/2017 21:47

A. We have no money.
B. We have no TAs as we have no money.

If we had money, I'd hope the head would be spending it on TAs to support children's learning, not on looking after toddlers after school.

BarbarianMum · 04/05/2017 22:00

You'd have to have seriously no money not to be able to afford to pay 2 TAs for 3 hours after school twice a year - we'd be talking £60 a time. I guess our head thinks it is money well spent as it allows the parents of 500 children to engage with their child's learning without interruption. If you think about the "cost" of parents evening in terms of teachers' time, I'd imagine you'd think that cheap at half the price.

BarbarianMum · 04/05/2017 22:00

Cheap at twice the price

MidniteScribbler · 04/05/2017 22:02

I'm a single parent with no family support, and no 'mummy friends'. I have friends who would look after my dogs in a heartbeat, but no idea what to do with a child.

I made damn sure that I had some babysitters, through an agency, that I could call on over the years. Started out by having a few come over whilst I was still at home and I would go outside and do some gardening or whatever, then gradually built up to short trips out, and eventually longer ones. It is vital to me to have someone, whether paid or not, that you can leave your children with (ironically, so that I can attend parent's evening and talk to you about your children!). It's not good enough to say 'I won't leave my child with a stranger', because that is exactly what you do when they start school or go to nursery. If you have no other form of support, then you need to make the relationship with some paid sitters so they are no longer strangers.

PuddleTrouble · 04/05/2017 23:01

Why do you think TAs would want to provide a creche? Teachers and TAs are educators, not childcare providers and particularly not for pre-school age children.
Maybe not the TAs then but the nursery school staff may appreciate a few hours extra pay - if it was thought a crèche was needed to get more parents to attend. But my main point was - don't expect the PTA to do it for free!

JustMumNowNotMe · 05/05/2017 07:17

I made damn sure that I had some babysitters, through an agency, that I could call on over the years. Started out by having a few come over whilst I was still at home and I would go outside and do some gardening or whatever, then gradually built up to short trips out, and eventually longer ones. It is vital to me to have someone, whether paid or not, that you can leave your children with (ironically, so that I can attend parent's evening and talk to you about your children!). It's not good enough to say 'I won't leave my child with a stranger', because that is exactly what you do when they start school or go to nursery. If you have no other form of support, then you need to make the relationship with some paid sitters so they are no longer strangers

THIS! So so sensible! Everyone saying they have no one needs to be going this so that god forbid they fall ill tonight and end up in hospital there is someone the kids know who can care for them.

paxillin · 05/05/2017 09:24

That's exactly what I'm wondering with so many having seemingly no network of any kind, paid or otherwise. Would those kids go into foster care the minute a parent has an accident?

MiaowTheCat · 05/05/2017 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlexanderHamilton · 05/05/2017 16:13

In an emergency (serious illness or accident) when dh was working away he'd have come home & somehow we'd have had to manage without his income.

JustMumNowNotMe · 05/05/2017 19:22

Well no obviously not miaow, but don't you think having a babysitter is a good idea for other situations?!

MiaowTheCat · 05/05/2017 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/05/2017 20:31

How old are your children Miaow? Do you never go out with your DH without the children?

marabounuts · 05/05/2017 21:22

Do you never go out with your DH without the children?

I don't think this scenario is that rare. Dh and I have a disabled child and no family support. friends cannot look after our DC. We haven't been out together without the DC for years. know quite a few parents in a similar situation.

Nutterfly · 06/05/2017 05:49

Agree with marabounuts
Before xh and I split up, we very rarely went out on our own without DC.
Possibly once a year when my parents visited from overseas. Cost of a babysitter plus night out was just too dear for our budget.

TanteJeanne · 06/05/2017 05:58

They've requested they can't demand.
What about a single parent with literally no family to help out. There are such people.

hello! That's me. Widowed, no parents. And I have done anything NOT to take my younger child with me because it meant I couldn't give the teacher my proper focus, which is the whole point of the parents' appointment.
I have had to ask a friend for help. I hate doing it but it's for something important.

TanteJeanne · 06/05/2017 06:07

It's not impossible for you- people have suggested several options- but it may be inconvenient.
If you have a toddler, this situation isn't going to go away for a few years so it's worthwhile - for your own benefit- working out a solution now.

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