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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary school have requested younger siblings don't go to parents evening

366 replies

Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:01

Problem with this obviously is that it means one of us can't go, and I know the other parent will feed back but it's not the same as you can't ask any questions on an as and when basis.

AIBU to think it's a bit unfair?

OP posts:
Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:46

He goes with a friend now (school is very close) but I will this week, yes :)

OP posts:
JustMumNowNotMe · 03/05/2017 07:47

Sorry OPif you've already said this and I've missed it, but if you want to go why isn't your DH staying home instead? Or just do what i used to do and book a sitter Smile

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:47

It's a bit entitled Teen Blush and one child is likely to cry so I would feel a bit bad forcing someone else to mind a squirming raging ball of unimpressed toddler Grin

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:48

First School YR-Y4
Middle School YR5-YR7
High School YR8-YR13

So I guess 'Primary' overlaps the first two.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:48

Because DH may be at work but if he isn't he will want to go as all in all he goes to the school less than I do so these are important to him :) Booking a sitter is just at the moment where both children are tired and feral - would feel bad putting a teenager in that position :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:49

It will do sparkling yes

OP posts:
Quickieat2 · 03/05/2017 07:49

Ask for two slots for your child. One to speak to you and inebto speak to your partner.

MrsKCastle · 03/05/2017 07:50

If you don't really know other parents and especially if you have more than one DC or DC with additional needs then it could be very difficult to just ask them to mind your children.

Headofthehive55 · 03/05/2017 07:50

Don't understand why children are a problem. Sometimes I've taken mine, sometimes I've managed not to. Our school is very good and it's never been a problem.

Proudmummytodc2 · 03/05/2017 07:51

I am very fortunate that I can ask my mum to have my DC while I go to my DS primary PE.

I'm my DS school we are allowed younger and older siblings to attend with us and it's actually rather well dealt with because if a child starts acting up the teacher pipes up and says "I only have 5 mins with your mum and dad I need to to sit nice and quiet while I talk to them ok" and that deals with it.

But I can see why school have a no sibling rule.

Sirzy · 03/05/2017 07:52

So the children are "tired and feral" .... can you not see the slight issue with taking them to parents evening then? Hmm

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:53

No, not really because like most under 3s they are fine when being held by a parent but liable to become overwhelmed if at home with someone they don't know trying to put them to bed. I know you're a parent and I know YOU know trying to do that would bring 'slight issues.' My youngest is actually the most docile child I have ever come across but even so she'd cry and be confused and difficult in the above situation.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:57

It looks as if you are going to have to ask the school if you can have special permission to bring the whole family to PE. See what they say.

Or as a PP says ask for 2 slots.

Or make a separate appointment not on PE when you have warned the school siblings will be with you.

LadyPenelope68 · 03/05/2017 07:59

Standard practice in all primaries I've taught at.

Dlpdep · 03/05/2017 07:59

You don't have a school issue or a childcare issue OP. You have a communication issue with you husband.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:59

Indeed:)

OP posts:
Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 08:00

X posts, I don't think I do but anyway the point is it is unfair. Unfair to single parents and parents with partners who work away or long hours. And then they complain about people not attending but they put up barriers to people's attendance!

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadow · 03/05/2017 08:01

No, You can get a baby sitter. If you can have one for going out, then surely having one for an important event is par for the course? It is once a year....

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 08:02

Hollow laugh - go out? What's that again? -Grin

OP posts:
CormorantDevouringTime · 03/05/2017 08:03

I think it's unreasonable to blame the "other" parents (not us, you know, those other parents) who "don't control their children". Controlling a two year old who happens not to be in the mood to sit and play or read quietly is a job that requires actual work and attention and is intrinsically incompatible with a serious adult conversation . You can't just say "Timmy! Sit!" and have them remain quiet for ten minutes whilst you concentrate. I'm sure that teachers have seen example of proper crap parenting but this isn't something that would be fixed if everyone was perfect like me.

JoandMax · 03/05/2017 08:04

It is difficult to manage but I can see the schools point - it's hard enough to get some parents out the room let when times up let alone if they're dealing with a toddler too!

I think you'll just have to ask another parent and see if you can help each other out. I did that when my eldest was in reception, my friends baby cried the whole time but it was only 10 minutes so we all coped and everyone got to see the teacher.

natwebb79 · 03/05/2017 08:05

Only one of us goes as the thought of taking our 2 year old gives us the shudders. It's fine - we feed back and take photos of their sharing book thingy.

LedaP · 03/05/2017 08:05

Tell your dh you are going and he is staying at home. Job done

foundaspottysock · 03/05/2017 08:07

I have never had any family to look after my DC.

I have always either played tag team with whoever has the appointment before and after me, taking it in turns to look after each other's children or booked a babysitter.

Assuming this is primary school, slots are 5 mins each so you'll be gone less than an hour. Hopefully only 30 minutes still allowing time for journeys, your appointment and a bit of over running. Unless you live miles from the school.

All you need is someone to watch the DC, they don't need to do dinner or bedtime etc - you really don't need that long.

marabounuts · 03/05/2017 08:11

I think it makes sense but it really isn't doable for all parents.

I don't have family or support, one DC severely disabled. There is really nobody who could/would look after them. I either can go with the DC to parents evening or not at all (gladly our school is understanding and aware that not everyone has a granny nearby).