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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend gone behind my back to contest my 16 yr old daughter's Drama Scholarship

193 replies

LillaB · 02/05/2017 12:26

My DD and a friend of mine's daughter have been at the same school since they were 3 and are now entering VIth form. Both (and about 10 other pupils) applied for VIth form Drama Scholarships. My daughter was given one as was another girl and a 3rd from another school.

I have just found out from my daughter that the other girl and her mum (who is my friend and I am about to go on holiday with) has been into school to complain about the fact my daughter got the scholarship. Help

OP posts:
NotYoda · 03/05/2017 18:53

This is unintentionally funny.

RandomDent · 03/05/2017 19:06

We had MVI at our school. Does that make me well posherer?

Touchmybum · 03/05/2017 19:08

You're definitely the 'poshestest' Random!

Andiecat13 · 03/05/2017 19:12

Don't do anything rash - please.

I wouldn't mention anything to your friend. If your friend's daughter told your daughter that her Mother was going to complain about your daughter getting the scholarship - I'm betting your friend's daughter isn't actually telling the whole truth. Your friend would probably be approaching the school for feedback. This is really common. I'm betting your friend's daughter is jealous and is trying to take the shine away from your daughter's achievement.

Relax & feel proud that your daughter has an amazing opportunity. Don't mention anything to your friend but have a fabulous holiday with her.

wizzywig · 03/05/2017 19:13

Im glad this thread is focussing on important matters. Roman numerals rock!

pollymere · 03/05/2017 19:20

It's more likely that she's contesting a scholarship being given to an external pupil and is using your dd as a comparison of her dd ability. I'd personally talk to her, if you're good friends and good enough to go on holiday together! Or leave it be and let her bring it up.

riceuten · 03/05/2017 19:21

I do school admission appeals and most parents turn up and scream and shout about not getting a place. They don't however, have a point, or indeed address any of the grounds upon which they can be successful. They're just pissed off that Charlotte Emily will have to go to the local bog standard comp.

It's the same with this, she has zero grounds for appeal, and I think the appeals panel, such as it is, will take the same view.

Floggingmolly · 03/05/2017 19:28

Most parents show up to rant at you if their child didn't make the cut, rice? Seriously? Shock

Enidblyton1 · 03/05/2017 19:29

YABU

There is no point being upset about something that is unlikely to be true. If the situation had been reversed, wouldn't you have asked for feedback from the Head? Nothing wrong with that. And it's perfectly fine to politely enquire why her DD didn't get a scholarship if she has achieved exactly the same as your DD.

I would drop it and have a bit of sympathy for your friend.

Enidblyton1 · 03/05/2017 19:30

Pollymere makes a good point

littlemummyfoofoo · 03/05/2017 19:30

OK I've not had time to read everything but... how about dropping it. Either she has or hasn't asked about your daughter either way it doesn't matter unless they change who gets the place. The mum, 'may have' complained about your daughter....whatever... she saw the head about its because she's gutted/cross/ or whatever for her daughter.... she is coming to your holiday home ....she may mention it she may not. If I was you I'd be thinking ..my daughter is in, I may of been a bit nuts for 30mins if she hadn't. .. I'm lucky though and so should be humble to those less lucky. seriously please drop it.

Ellisandra · 03/05/2017 19:36

I have RTFT quickly, so apologies if this point has been made, but...

I can quite see where the daughter gets her drama skills from Grin

bencrone03 · 03/05/2017 19:49

Omg...jealousy at its finest! , she certainly isn't a friend. Can image the holiday you're about to have.a good friend of mine fell out with me because my son got picked for a football team and her son didn't! , If the shoe was on the other foot there is no way I'd have fallen out with her.

SlatternIsTrying · 03/05/2017 19:49

random I too was a middle VIth er. I'm now wondering what school ..........?

northerny · 03/05/2017 19:58

ellis Grin

Laura2507 · 03/05/2017 19:58

Does your friend like hot dogs?

@pepperpot99 GrinGrin

pepperpot99 · 03/05/2017 20:38

You must concede the resemblance, Laura2507 Grin

MrsArthurShappey · 03/05/2017 20:41

I thought that pepper

SherbrookeFosterer · 03/05/2017 21:20

Say nothing. I am sure your daughter's scholarship is safe.

And the chances are your friend wanted it more than her daughter - this often happens!

pmama · 03/05/2017 21:24

well, I think it is just weird... why questioning your daughter's eligibility for the scholarship? really strange mentality... but maybe we do not know the whole story

ParadiseCity · 03/05/2017 21:31

I'd have thought a VI school was a star trek film. I hope your headteacher is Spock.

JanKind · 04/05/2017 02:25

There'll be a few more rejections in her career. Best to start getting used to it now!!

Ticketybootoo · 04/05/2017 07:15

Make sure all the facts you have are correct.
Deal with it through the school
End the friendship if all that you've said turns out to be correct - blimey who needs enemies !?

SoupDragon · 04/05/2017 07:15

but maybe we do not know the whole story

It's based on the gossip of a group of 16 year old girls!

RaspberryOverloadsOnChilli · 04/05/2017 08:52

My school was a state comp, and we still had VI form, upper and lower to be precise.