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Original poster

Friend gone behind my back to contest my 16 yr old daughter's Drama Scholarship

193 replies

LillaB · 02/05/2017 12:26

My DD and a friend of mine's daughter have been at the same school since they were 3 and are now entering VIth form. Both (and about 10 other pupils) applied for VIth form Drama Scholarships. My daughter was given one as was another girl and a 3rd from another school.

I have just found out from my daughter that the other girl and her mum (who is my friend and I am about to go on holiday with) has been into school to complain about the fact my daughter got the scholarship. Help

OP posts:
lougle · 02/05/2017 12:28

Wow. Who needs enemies when you have friends like that? Was your 'friend's' DD one of the three who got a scholarship?

TeaBelle · 02/05/2017 12:29

Is she complaining that your daughter was awarded one, or that her daughter wasn't? There's a huge difference there. Her child has toyo bebe het number 1priority so if she feels that there was an issue that meant her daughter was unfairly treated, she should raise it. It:s not necessarily anything to do with it being your child

twittertwit · 02/05/2017 12:29

On what basis has she complained?

Floggingmolly · 02/05/2017 12:29

What do you need help with? You don't imagine they'll rescind the offer because she whinged about it, do you??!
Btw, neither of them are your friends.

Chloe84 · 02/05/2017 12:30

Need more detail...why does she object to your DD getting one?

So far she sounds like a two-faced twat and I'd be ending the friendship.

Also... VIth form? Is this a private school? Confused

PotteringAlong · 02/05/2017 12:31

How weird! What did she think would happen? That the school would decide she was right and they were wrong and give the scholarship to her daughter instead?

MadisonAvenue · 02/05/2017 12:31

I take it that she's complaining because your daughter got a scholarship and her daughter didn't?

HunkyDory69 · 02/05/2017 12:31

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

youngestisapsycho · 02/05/2017 12:33

Is she specifically complaining that your DD got one, or is she wanting to know why her DD didn't?

Batgirlspants · 02/05/2017 12:35

You need more specific info before wading in here op.

Tred carefully

eatingtomuch · 02/05/2017 12:35

It really does depend on what she is complaining about. If she appealing the decision she is within her rights and it has really nothing to do with you or your daughter.

If she suggesting your daughter should not have the scholarship and her daughter should, that is very different.

My own DD has secured a place at a drama school. I am aware of those who were not successful appealing for a place. It has not entered my head that any of them would be saying x y or z did not deserve a place.

taytopotato · 02/05/2017 12:37

Maybe she's the type of "keeping your friends close, your enemies closer"!

squeaver · 02/05/2017 12:38

Agree with everyone else. On the surface, it seems incredibly twattish behaviour, but, before you end a friendship:

  • as others have said, what was she specifically complaining about?
  • is there a chance she just went into school to appease her daughter whose nose is out of joint?
  • could anything have been lost in translation here? How does your daughter know about this?
  • does your friend have previous?
Mummyoflittledragon · 02/05/2017 12:38

I can't imagine she's gone in all guns blazing asking why little Lillab got the scholarship and not her dd. It will just be questions and a possible appeal. You'll be fine on your hols.

AlexanderHamilton · 02/05/2017 12:38

I doubt she will get very far. Usually it's a case of no correspondence will be entered into. The school may if they wish give details of things your friends dd didn't have eg. Her monologue was too stilted & she was unable to take direction or didn't contribute to the group improvisation.

However they must not give details of anything to do with your dd or the other candidates.

SapphireStrange · 02/05/2017 12:38

Tread carefully

Yes, this. If she's just appealing the decision about her daughter then leave it.

Obviously it's different if she basically just wants the scholarship taken off your daughter, for no good reason.

QueenofallIsee · 02/05/2017 12:40

There is a world of difference between appealing for her DD to be considered and looking to ask that yours is not - are you quite sure that she is suggesting that your DD's award should be withdrawn?

CotswoldStrife · 02/05/2017 12:41

Agree with other posters about the difference between someone saying 'why didn't my DD get it' and 'why did SHE get it'! So I'd do a bit more fact-checking before worrying too much.

See what the other mum says about the holiday, because if she is that annoyed at your DD you I'm sure she'll let you know! Are the DD's going on the holiday too?

PhyllisNights · 02/05/2017 12:41

Speak to the school and deal with it through them. Once that's all over, send a strongly worded email or letter to the mother telling her what you really think of her. What a terribly jealous and spiteful person she is.

Iamastonished · 02/05/2017 12:44

Absolutely do not email the mother. That is really bad advice. That will just escalate things.

Lweji · 02/05/2017 12:45

You need to get your facts right first.

How does your DD know about this?

Quartz2208 · 02/05/2017 12:46

There is a huge difference between questioning why your daughter got it and why hers.

She is entitled to ask why her daughter did not get it and ask for feedback on it (same as in effect you would for ask after an interview) but not why yours got it. Indeed she may be questioning why someone from outside the school got it and not a current pupil.

At the moment you have a second hand account from your daughter your first port of call is to speak to your friend. I am not saying your daughter is lying just that she might be misunderstanding what your friend is going.

RTKM007 · 02/05/2017 12:51

Agree with other posters

*BUT if her DD is wanting to become an actress she had better get used to being rejected ASAP

So if she doesn't get into RSC she is going to go to casting team and demand her DD is given a place and the lead part
*
ConfusedConfusedConfusedConfusedConfusedConfused

elevenclips · 02/05/2017 12:53

If you have been offered the scholarship, them going in to moan is not going to get yours taken away. It's probably not going to get them a scholarship either.

It really depends on whether feedback was requested which is fine or whether they actually went footstamping saying my dd is better than ops dd which just makes them look foolish.

SheRasBra · 02/05/2017 12:54

Agree with other posters - wait and see.

Could be as simple as 'both girls have passed the same level of LAMDA exams, my daughter got merits etc. yet didn't get a scholarship'. Suspect she is comparing your 2 DD's achievements, not asking that your DD loses her award.