Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think mid thirties is too late

269 replies

verbenaa · 01/05/2017 09:31

To make significant changes! Sorry for the bold but I'm not talking about - lose a couple of stone, spend a year at college to train as a teacher, buy a new house.

I mean it's too late to completely steer your life in a different direction. Careers which pay a lot of money tend to be ones people commit to early on. If you haven't got much in the way of savings or got into good habits money wise it's hard to change that mindset. If you've had an ingrained mental health problem for over twenty years then it's probably a bit late to treat it successfully.

So AIBU?

I sort of hope so but also want honesty but NOT a kicking. In a bad place and all.

OP posts:
GuinessPunch · 01/05/2017 09:32

Yabu.
You're mid 30s not mid 80's.

Believeitornot · 01/05/2017 09:33

Yabu

You have a good 30 odd years of working life left in you. You can make changes.

What sort of thing do you want to do? What are you doing now?

Original poster
verbenaa · 01/05/2017 09:34

I don't know ... that's a huge part of the problem. I don't know what I would be good at and what I would want to do.

OP posts:
R2G · 01/05/2017 09:34

YABU change your mindset x

TheZeppo · 01/05/2017 09:35

I don't think it's ever too late.

You mention jobs with lots of money but af it training to teach for a year isn't an issue. You can go quite high in teaching if you want. Doesn't matter when you start.

You may have struggled with mental health problems for 20 years, but imagine if you love til you're 80. That's another 50 years that you can aim to get better in.

Life can be so hard and I'm so sorry you're struggling Flowers but it's not too late.

nellifurtardo · 01/05/2017 09:36

I'm 34 and have recently started my own business. You are never to old to change direction in life, in fact I would say staying in something you were miserable in because you felt to old or it was to late is just an excuse not to try. I wouldn't want to look back on my life and have major regrets.

Coastalcommand · 01/05/2017 09:36

It's a good time to make a change - you may have a much better idea of what's important to you than you did earlier on.

clary · 01/05/2017 09:36

In my mid thirties I got married. Went on to have three children, move to a new area, retrain for a totally different career.... Also lost weight and rethought my fitness. You say those aren't what you mean by significant, fair enough,but I still think they were big changes! What is it you want to do?

Original poster
verbenaa · 01/05/2017 09:37

I know, I was just using that as an example (I am trained as a teacher actually so it was the first example that sprang to mind! Plus lots of people do it "later in life.")

Thanks for the kindness Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
verbenaa · 01/05/2017 09:37

Sorry, cross posts. Yes, they are significant. Maybe the odds are just stacked against me. Not sure!

OP posts:
ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 01/05/2017 09:37

YANBU - it's definitely too old to be thinking about buying a first home that's for sure.

BalthazarImpresario · 01/05/2017 09:37

I'm mid thirties, have been doing the same job for 14 years. Next year I will be starting in a completely different career and am thinking of lots of other changes too.

Original poster
verbenaa · 01/05/2017 09:38

Do you think so, ThisIs? One of my friends bought her first home last year, so she'd have been 34.

OP posts:
PeaFaceMcgee · 01/05/2017 09:39

YABU. I'm doing all of those things at the grand old age of 36.

scaryteacher · 01/05/2017 09:39

I did my PGCE at 34.

Original poster
verbenaa · 01/05/2017 09:41

Yes, I know lots of people do ... but I mean I'll try to put it another way.

So you have a degree and you have work experience and you "take a year out" to do a PGCE. Now suppose you didn't even have GCSEs. You'd have to do them and A levels (or access or whatever) THEN the degree and PGCE.

So that's more like 4 years? Five maybe?

The above is illustrative not literal but I'm explaining how I feel about it, like I'm at a disadvantage.

OP posts:
teacher54321 · 01/05/2017 09:41

I currently teach and am 35. Am planning a big career change when I hit 40. Don't know what yet but am hoping to completely retrain and do something else, maybe go back to uni, do another postgrad qualification. Who knows?! It's exciting!

WhooooAmI24601 · 01/05/2017 09:41

YABU. Mid-30's is still incredibly young. ('m 35 and refuse to consider that I'm anything but Very Young still).

You can absolutely change things, you can absolutely improve things at any time.

PeaFaceMcgee · 01/05/2017 09:42

Every heartbeat is a new start... Would you benefit from CBT I wonder?

Fifthattemptatusername · 01/05/2017 09:42

I trained to be a midwife at age 35. Bought my first house at age 40 then relocated 200 miles away at age 45 and now at age 53 who knows what surprises and life changes lie ahead. It's never too late

user1488721675 · 01/05/2017 09:42

Bloody hell I hope not. I'm pushing 40 and decided to make huge changes, I'm on track but it's going to be a good few years of hard work, I won't be put off.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 01/05/2017 09:42

Sometimes it takes until the mid-thirties to have the experience to work out what your strengths and interests are.

The working world has also changed since reaching adulthood around the millennium. The goalposts aren't in the same place as they were then.

Original poster
verbenaa · 01/05/2017 09:42

I've wondered that. I know I can get quite fixed in my thinking which I've heard CBT is good for

OP posts:
teacher54321 · 01/05/2017 09:43

Our generation are definitely going to be working till we're well into our 60s. So if I retrain to be an accountant let's say aged 40, and it takes 5 years to qualify, I'll still have 20 years to work before retirement. That's longer than I've been a teacher for! (And that feels like FOREVER!)

PeaFaceMcgee · 01/05/2017 09:44

It's so effective for fostering a positive mindset, and quite practical too. And / or hypnotherapy x