to think my 5 year old is ahead academically?

[hollyvsivy]

I'm not posting to boast and my daughters happiness is far more important to me than her academic progress. This is why I found it frustrating that at parents evening tonight her teacher told me she's working at around the same level as most children her age, because my DD is thoroughly bored at school. She has just turned 5 and is in reception.

She's on stage 5 reading books at school but can read stage 6 at home. Her real strength is in maths, though. She can read up to six figure numbers. She can add numbers in their thousands. She understands and can do short multiplication (discovered when she joined in with her big sisters homework.) She knows some times tables and can easily halve and double numbers in her head. She will often sit and write numbers correctly formed and in the correct order to 200+. Then she brings home homework which questions like 4-2 so I just don't understand how her teacher can say she's average when she could've done the current homework years ago.

Of course I don't want to be pushy at 5, but equally I don't want her to be bored and lose enthusiasm for numbers in particular. AIBU to think her teacher is selling her short? I've seem her workbooks at school and know she's independently writing big sums at school so her teacher has definitely seen she can do it and that I'm not a fantasist!

Whoah, spent too long thinking about that one, lots of x posts. If she is the type to go and sit on her own it's harder to see how they would have missed her maths ability.

OP it sounds like your dd is not well supported in school and is struggling to access a lot of the curriculum. I would be asking to meet with the senco and teacher to discuss what they can do to support her more holistically. They may be able to use her interest in maths to extend her learning in other areas. It may be less a case of boredom and more feeling overwhelmed in an unstructured sensory overloading environment.

Is that post for real Uppity?

Imperial... well yes exactly that. A child should not be bored because they are ahead academically. They should enjoy school and all it offers. Social skills, art, role play, life skills. If they are bored then it is worrying.

Uppity did you mean to come across as so sneering and unpleasant when discussing a little girl and her needs? Vile.

Ds is very able in maths, from a young age he would just come out with random correct statements - along the lines of 'if I was born in 1944 I would be 74 etc. He could answer similar questions faster than I could. He couldn't though explain his method and he couldn't understand the underlying principles. He needed the core teaching as well as the fun stuff he did at home. In the same way at that age he could read Harry Potter but couldn't tell you what a split digraph was or spot an adjective. He has gone through some boredom and we have been lucky in that he has been able to go ahead in some areas. Generally though there have been gaps in both maths and English which have been filled so he is confident in all the foundation. He has also had the social benefits of working with his peers.

I would be asking which areas specifically she needs to develop. For ds bizarrely it was speed, he could do all these fancy calculations but ask him what 4+7 was and he would freeze and then really carefully write 11 when what they wanted was speedy recall. Any sort of pressure and it would all switch off.

The ASD issue is very relevant and I have to say I agree with others that it does not make a child academically gifted. My 6 yo DS has Aspergers, he is pretty good at maths, problem solving, anything "engineery" for want of a better description, but his reading and writing skills require huge support from both me and the school (who are excellent). While your DD is clearly very bright and advanced OP, I also wonder if some of the boredom stems from lack of social interraction, which would be entirely understandable.

I'd have a chat with the Senco and see what other avenues of support are available. My DS used to really really struggle with social interraction and was very much a loner, but now he is integrated and loves playing with his friends (as long as everybody does what he says!). We're getting there, you will too, but I do think you need some extra support.

Good luck!

My dd is 5. I'd say your dd is advanced especially in numbers - that's staggering to me!

My dd is being assessed for autism. I'd like to point put that autistic children are not necessarily gifted. My dd is struggling in all areas academically and hasn't shown any particular talents. She's particularly weak with numbers and can't count beyond 20.

Maths is where she feels safe. She likes role play but only if she directs it and she likes to repeat the same scenarios so it doesn't work at school.

Delighted to hear my child "should not" be bored, but what am I supposed to do about it when they are? Write him off as a deficient personality?

Well she will certainly be meeting the early learning goal (and way beyond) for number skills but maths is much more than just number skills. There's shape, measurement, time, money, patterns, data etc. So while she may be excelling in some areas there may be other areas that aren't at that level (time can often be a difficult thing to grasp for kids with asd).
Homework I wouldn't worry too much about as it's often a token offering at that age (and ridiculous that it's given at all imo). I would expect her to be being stretched when doing calculations in class though but they are often done on whiteboards in reception so you wouldn't have necessarily had anything written to see.
Is she super keen to do maths at home? If she is then I'd maybe use it as a motivator/reward when teaching social skills.

Its not that simple though Imperial. The op has said that DD is socially frustrated- simply giving her harder maths isn't going to help develop her skills. She is using it as a escape as its "safe". Reception is play based and this is very important -as important as developing academic skills in my opinion. My DS has advanced in leaps and bounds socially because of school. At an early stage it would be a fight to get him there or sitting down and not hiding under a desk with a fact book. Now he has friends and will converse and play. Its all important.

Play based does not and never has meant play only though. There's a combination of play, direct and explicit teaching and directed independent or teacher led work. Which should be aimed at the level of the child. All children should make progress in all areas regardless of her starting point.

Which is why the autism and question about her social skills are irrelevant to the point the OP was trying to make. She shouldn't be left unchallenged in maths just because she needs support with her social skills.

I don't have anything much to say in terms of advice only that I'm in the same situation with my 6 year old DS. He is also autistic. Incredible maths ability and struggles socially a lot. His (newly qualified) teacher last year said he was 'average' and was beginning to count from 1-10 (he was counting til beyond 1000 when he was 2 so I was a bit ) He is bored senseless and hates school. Trying to get school to support and understand his needs is like trying to get blood from a stone. Someone did once say to me (she was a SENCo at the time) you need to become the pushy parent who the teachers roll their eyes at when they see you coming to make sure you get everything your child needs. Sadly it seems that is true.

It does sound like your dd is ahead academically in maths, but it sounds like the key issue is that her needs, academic, social, emotional, aren't being met at school currently.

Being given more challenge in maths will address one problem, but the situations seems more complex than that.

She will talk to the teacher (but mainly the TA) but only about herself and her interests. She will not engage with the other children and mostly runs away from them.

Holly that was what I was trying to say about my DS in my post above, he does like to be in control of situations and is repetitive with his play...specifically lining things up and expecting other children not to touch them or want to join in. He is very much encouraged to interract and is learning to do so...please don't dismiss something as "it won't work at school" because if she is receiving adequate support, it will.

Hear hear Rafa.

I will probably get slammed for this, but I also think boredom is a part of life (sadly!). We can't be constantly entertained or do the things we enjoy most. We need to find ways ourselves to not be bored or cope with it.

She is very much like that. She wants to arrange things more than play with them and cannot cope if it seems someone might disturb her arrangements so at school she's stopped bothering to try. She then has huge meltdowns as soon as she's home.

holly so she's managing herself quite well (despite the meltdowns at home)...I do get this, I have this too. What's your social life like together? I took the hardball approach with this, we go to parties, soft play, busy parks, lots of places where DS can be uncomfortable, but I make sure I have defenders and I know we can make a quick exit. It's almost like exposure therapy, he is now hugely better and while there are certain things I know are not going to work at the moment (such as the junior school disco for example), I don't avoid anything. I make sure we see a lot of people, go out a lot, do lots of things. ASD children often have to learn how to socialise and how to manage. I have done lots of courses that have been really helpful, I wonder if something like that might benefit you and DD?

She has siblings so she can't isolate herself like she'd like to. We go to soft play and busy parks and she's not too bad as long as no way gets in the way of whatever circuit she devises for herself. She's never been invited to a party I've tried to encourage trying an extra curricular activity but she's too anxious to do so as yet.

Op

Awwlookatmybabyspider

Autistic children are always exceptionally intelligent

😂😂😂😂 My ds missed that memo. What a ridiculous statement. Like another poster said his profile is very spiky. I hate that people still think this.