to think my 5 year old is ahead academically?

[hollyvsivy]

I'm not posting to boast and my daughters happiness is far more important to me than her academic progress. This is why I found it frustrating that at parents evening tonight her teacher told me she's working at around the same level as most children her age, because my DD is thoroughly bored at school. She has just turned 5 and is in reception.

She's on stage 5 reading books at school but can read stage 6 at home. Her real strength is in maths, though. She can read up to six figure numbers. She can add numbers in their thousands. She understands and can do short multiplication (discovered when she joined in with her big sisters homework.) She knows some times tables and can easily halve and double numbers in her head. She will often sit and write numbers correctly formed and in the correct order to 200+. Then she brings home homework which questions like 4-2 so I just don't understand how her teacher can say she's average when she could've done the current homework years ago.

Of course I don't want to be pushy at 5, but equally I don't want her to be bored and lose enthusiasm for numbers in particular. AIBU to think her teacher is selling her short? I've seem her workbooks at school and know she's independently writing big sums at school so her teacher has definitely seen she can do it and that I'm not a fantasist!

I say this because when I used to work as a pre school teacher, we had a boy who could read age 3. It was incredible the words he could read. He also flirted between activities and free play and struggled socially to interact with peers. Oh yes, he was incredibly academic and it was fascinating to see. But he struggled socially to make friends

Is the teacher newly qualified, I find they say every chid is where they are supposed to be as they are too inexperienced scared to say anything more radical.

Oh, cross-posted with the autism info. I wonder if they can give her more maths stuff alongside some more social stuff? Might be a good idea to ask in both the SEN and Gifted & Talented sections.

My DS has aspergers and is very academically advanced but has poor social skills (although he is very popular!) and not a lot of common sense. He also tends to memorise facts rather than understand them iyswim?

I don't see how her being autistic changes anything. Her abilities are either average or not.

Just saw update, that changes everything. Is your daughter being supported?

Sorry x post. Yes that was the reason I mentioned it. The lad I had was autistic. He was incredibly gifted. Sorry to hear your daughter is bored. Maybe the teacher can't put her ahead as it's her as a whole and not one specific area. I would have a discussion with the teacher and other members of the school and see how you can help her progress to the best of her ability. Not sure dinosaursandtea why you've taken against a general interest that I asked. I was merely trying to see a further insight. Which the op responded too

No, I'm not particularly impressed with how she's supported to be honest. They let her wear ear defenders and sit near the teacher in assembly. I can't see that they're doing anything else. She's unhappy at school socially and because that's now extended to academically she's unhappy overall. Her teacher says she's average academically and coping socially. She's good at masking but I wouldn't class not losing it with other children as coping. She tunes them out but isn't happy.

OP, either way it sounds like your daughter has an early love and aptitude for maths, which is great. G&T board should be able to help. I suspect teachers will find it easier/will be more willing to support any social needs than give her the academic challenges she might enjoy, at least at primary level, so do keep pushing.

Also, I hope you don't think I'm being too forthright but maybe speak to the teacher about helping her in other aspects of her learning- role play etc. This may help with her social interaction and boredom. It's brilliant she's doing so well in maths and good for you for making sure she excels in that subject. But please don't focus on it to the detriment of her other subjects. You sound like a great mum who only wants the best for her child

Her autism is relevant because it explains why she's so intent on accessing a narrow rather than wide curriculum and, as you say, preferring to sit alone doing number work than engage with the chaos that is free play.

It sounds like you need to look at other schools if you are that unhappy op. Have you given your opinions to school and how have they reacted?

Awwlook autistic children are not 'always exceptionally intelligent' in fact they are far more likely to have learning disabilities than high IQ. Even those with high IQ can have a spikey profile with some areas being very much below average.

It doesn't change anything holly. She has the same right to have her needs met in all areas of the curriculum as any child with SEN or without.

Whether she's behind with her social skills isn't really relevant to whether she's ahead or not in maths. She should be challenged in both.

Has she got an IEP? Does she have a 1:1 lsa? Can you fight to get her one?

Agree with BarbarianMum. Her autism is very relevant.

Maths - sounds like she is doing really well and she's probably ahead but not exceptionally so.
Reading - perhaps a little above average, but it's likely that there will be kids who are further ahead by this stage in reception.

Overall, it sounds to me like her ability is good but well within the "normal" range that you'd expect to get in any reception class really.

Why do you feel that she is bored? Is she getting any additional support for any issues linked to her autism?

I'd say her ASD is very relevant.

Don't know about bored but I'm seeing my able reception child really not fit in. As in she'd like to role play writing a shopping list, finding things, paying and giving change. Her classmates would rather throw around the shop items and play money. She'd like to play characters from a book she's read at length, her friends play princesses and lose interest after a couple of minutes. She's ever so patient and philosophical about it bless her, but she's not in her element the way we see on play dates with slightly older friends.

When you had the parents evening did the teacher share anything about goals etc? That was our way in as was able to explain to teacher that DD's goals were things she was doing years ago, and bring in stuff she was reading/writing at home to show them (DD is other way round from yours, it's reading/writing/spelling that's off the scale, maths less ahead). To teacher's credit they did latch on at that point, assess her properly and are trying to accommodate, though it's hard as DD is a social animal and doesn't want to be different.

I think you have an additional problem with maths in that they do very little altogether in reception/yr 1. Unless your DD is the type to go and sit in the corner on her own doing sums, they're unlikely to realise she can. We also had problems over the years with DS not needing and therefore not wanting to use props. E.g. if the lesson is adding with a number line, a child who hasn't needed a number line for years may not see the point and need some persuading, which can come across as being less than able.

So yes your DD does sound able - above average in reading, well ahead in maths. But if they're not asking the right questions they may not be seeing that in school. I'd suggest you show them what she does at home and see where you go from there.

But can she go up a slide??

Autistic children are always exceptionally intelligent

that's a nice, ridiculously untrue stereotype.

God forbid that anyone on here should say their child is bored because they're well past what the rest of the class is doing.

Uppity what a nasty comment!

But Imperial, it's reception and therefore play based, so not really sure whether it matters what the rest of the kids are doing.