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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel angry with mum becoming 'mother' (and what, if anything do I do about it?)

191 replies

ErnesttheBavarian · 22/04/2017 09:42

Ok, probably totally outing myself, but well.

I am old. 46 to be precise. I'm from the NE. My mum has always been my mum. Even when we moved down south, she was still mum.

Then my sister, a few years ago, decided to better herself, and tried to reduce her northern accent and sound posher. She then started to call our mum 'mother'. I think it sounds fucking stupid and pretentious. And she isn't 'mother' she's mum.

Anyway, my mum has since adopted it. And refers to herself as mother. I still think it sounds totally ridiculous. I hate it. When I get a card (or even an WhatsApp) from 'mother' it gives me the rage. firstly cos it just sounds so fucking pretentious and jumped up, secondly, cos she's been my mum for over 40 years, and now she's "MOTHER" (wtf) and thirdly I guess cos it feels like she's siding with my sister, or even worse, adopting her pretentious.

I have mentioned before that I don't like it, but she still does it.

So, do I try again, and if so, how, or do I put up with it until one of us snuffs it, and just feel fucking annoyed every time I have some communication with her?

OP posts:
ProudBadMum · 22/04/2017 09:45

Just continue with mum or adopt a new name for her like Life Giver and try push that on to your sister

witsender · 22/04/2017 09:45

Ignore it and carry on calling her mum. She gets to call herself whatever she likes, no matter how irritating.

Footle · 22/04/2017 09:46

And tell her nobody signs their name on whA

Oulavache · 22/04/2017 09:46

Prefix the onto it and lower the tone right back down again! "I got a card from the Mother yesterday" "did you speak the The Mother?"

Chocolatecake12 · 22/04/2017 09:46

Reply to her text 'sorry who is this?'

GloriaGilbert · 22/04/2017 09:47

In the absence of other signs of affectation, I'd let it go.

SayNoToCarrots · 22/04/2017 09:47

Not helpful in any way, but my husband calls his mum mother and the first time I heard it I was shocked. It sounds rude, really. Just naming her 'jobs' title almost, not a loving nickname like mum / mama / mummy.

Original poster
ErnesttheBavarian · 22/04/2017 09:49

but has he always called her 'mother' or did it arise out of nowhere?

OP posts:
Original poster
ErnesttheBavarian · 22/04/2017 09:49

chocolate, I might try that. Footl, are you my ds??

OP posts:
Zaphodsotherhead · 22/04/2017 09:50

Mine used to call herself 'mater'. Jokingly, I always assume...

scaryteacher · 22/04/2017 09:50

46 is not old, you're not even middle aged yet!!!

When I was at school in the 70s/80s, we read Great Expectations. One of the character's called his father 'The Aged Parent', and my friends and I referred to our parents as Aged Ps for a while. You could try that, or 'maternal ancestor' as my 21 year old calls me when I've pissed him off about something.

ChristianGreysAnatomy · 22/04/2017 09:50

Start calling her Mutha.

ProudBadMum · 22/04/2017 09:51

My son shortens mother to Muv

Try that

hesterton · 22/04/2017 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChristianGreysAnatomy · 22/04/2017 09:53

Or Muzzer in an 'allo 'allo accent. Plenty of ways to undermine the pretentiousness!

theaveragewife · 22/04/2017 09:53

Out-posh her and call your mum 'mummy'

Original poster
ErnesttheBavarian · 22/04/2017 09:53

scary teacher - that sound uncannily like ds1!

OP posts:
DorotheaHomeAlone · 22/04/2017 09:54

Living in the south has nothing to do with it. Hmm Most English speaking people here say mum.

Your mother gets to choose how she signs things. You can choose to ignore it rather than making it a deeper, sibling rivalry issue. You're being a bit silly.

plaintomatopasta · 22/04/2017 09:54

I just collectively call mine "the parents" as I have four and none of them particularly like me 😆 when we were little though we watched the crystal maze a lot and called her "mumsie" which pissed her off... obviously it stuck!

Being from the NE and saying mum is actually quite posh if you anyway as usually it's Mam!

Original poster
ErnesttheBavarian · 22/04/2017 09:55

Hesterton, she ends her massages with it, e.g. see you soon, love mother.

Then I look like this Angry and think wtf is mother aarrrgggghhhhh.

OP posts:
LettuceMash · 22/04/2017 09:55

Call her by her first name? That's what I do.

plaintomatopasta · 22/04/2017 09:57

@lettuce my brother calls our "mother" by her first name. I'm a cop out because I only see her when I have my son with me for protection and call her grannie

GraciesMansion · 22/04/2017 09:57

(Why was she not mam if you're from the NE? )

Just carry on calling her what you want to call her.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 22/04/2017 09:58

My son calls me mummles or 'the mother ship' - also sometimes mother (amittedly in a kind of in a joky way). However, despite all these names for me I still sign any cards emails etc. to him as just Mum.

Just carry on calling her what you want regardless and I really would try not to get so wound up about it.

Hulder · 22/04/2017 09:59

Living in the South has nothing to do with it, everyone here says Mum. Or if you are posh, Mummy only in private as it makes you look like a knob

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