Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be sat here doing most of my 9yr old ds's homework?

147 replies

Ihatecrafting · 21/04/2017 18:33

He goes back to school next week, he has had 3 weeks off, mostly at soccer / rugby camps and doing fun stuff. He has a shit tonne load of homework to do which has caused major sulk fests. I've tried to break it into doable chunks but with no joy. To save huge arguments and because he is 9 ffs I have started doing it with him - but mainly for him. I will go through it all with him before he goes back to school and quiz him etc. Am I being a soft touch?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 21/04/2017 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MatchsticksForMyEyes · 21/04/2017 18:35

Yes. How is his teacher supposed to assess how well he is doing if you've done it?

Trifleorbust · 21/04/2017 18:35

I wouldn't set this tone myself. I would ask him to do his best, set a time limit (he shouldn't be doing more than an hour or two of homework at 9) and let him deal with the telling off.

Wolfiefan · 21/04/2017 18:36

Yes. Don't do it.
You need to be the parent. Not "try" to break it down.
Do an hour then you can go to the activity you're looking forward to.
Job done.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 21/04/2017 18:36

How are you going to pass his gcse 's for him?

Angelicinnocent · 21/04/2017 18:36

I'm afraid so and he'll do the same thing next holidays if he thinks you will do it for him.

isthistoonosy · 21/04/2017 18:36

Yes, uabu either he does it or takes the consequences of not doing it imo.

He will be in secondary soon before you know it. When do you plan on stopping giving in to sulks and tantrums?

Sirzy · 21/04/2017 18:37

What will he learn from you doing it?

danTDM · 21/04/2017 18:37

YY OP I do my DD's homework, well keep a close eye on it, the whole time.

Exhausting.

jelliebelly · 21/04/2017 18:38

What's the point in you doing it? If he doesn't do it let him face the consequences.

jelliebelly · 21/04/2017 18:38

YABU

turtletum · 21/04/2017 18:38

I hate to say it but as a teacher I think you should not be doing his work. By all means sit with him and encourage/nag/cajole but if he still won't do it then he needs to learn the hard lesson. He won't learn responsibility if you rescue him and you'll be setting a precident for future homework refusal.

ChickenBhuna · 21/04/2017 18:40

You are indeed far too soft. Let him face up to the consequences of not doing it himself.

SoloDance · 21/04/2017 18:40

Nine year olds shouldn't have homework.YANBU.

TrollMummy · 21/04/2017 18:40

I wouldn't do it for him but instead get him to do as much as he can within two half hour sessions of without whinging. Maybe bribery would help? If you do it for him he will expect this to happen every time he gets homework.

Original poster
Ihatecrafting · 21/04/2017 18:44

I guess it feels like this time he has too much, he would need to have done a couple of hours a day to complete it himself and he has been at clubs etc while I work and has been shattered when he has got home. He will have had 3 full days actually off (Saturdays) due to rugby tournaments on the Sundays.
I will email the teacher and let them know I had to help (a lot) and there was too much.

OP posts:
Sittinginthesun · 21/04/2017 18:45

I wouldn't do it. If there is too much, then let the teacher know, but don't do it.

SoloDance · 21/04/2017 18:46

2 hours of homework a day? Far far to much. I would email the school too.

Dozer · 21/04/2017 18:48

He should only hand in what he can do himself within the time available,

ilovesooty · 21/04/2017 18:50

Waste of the teacher's time planning and assessing if parents do the work.

WorraLiberty · 21/04/2017 18:52

he would need to have done a couple of hours a day to complete it himself

Two hours a day, every day for three weeks? Confused

OffRoader · 21/04/2017 18:52

He would have gained much more from being at clubs/ doing fun activities, than being forced to do homework for hours a day.

He's 9 Confused

What will they do if he doesn't do it? Chop off his head?

MycatsaPirate · 21/04/2017 18:52

3 weeks off at 2 hours a day homework? Your son's school set 42 hours of homework? Jesus, how the hell did he carry it all home?

Either you are exaggerating or your son is exceedingly slow at doing the work.

What exactly has he got to do?

YABU to do it for him. It teaches him nothing except that if he whines then you will do it.

OwlinaTree · 21/04/2017 18:52

I would tell the school he didn't have time to do it.

Original poster
Ihatecrafting · 21/04/2017 18:58

He has book reviews to do (several) after reading the books - he has read the books but the reviews are taking him ages
He has a tourist info flyer / webpage to do - to include a list of info, pictures etc and persuasive text
He has the usual spellings and copying out to do
He has a shit load of online maths lessons and quizzes to do
He has 6 A4 sheets of maths times tables challenges to do
He is not the fastest reader / writer and has mild ADHD (hyperactivity) which creates issues with actually sitting down and cracking on - there is a load of faffing about!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread