AIBU to be sat here doing most of my 9yr old ds's homework?

[Ihatecrafting]

He goes back to school next week, he has had 3 weeks off, mostly at soccer / rugby camps and doing fun stuff. He has a shit tonne load of homework to do which has caused major sulk fests. I've tried to break it into doable chunks but with no joy. To save huge arguments and because he is 9 ffs I have started doing it with him - but mainly for him. I will go through it all with him before he goes back to school and quiz him etc. Am I being a soft touch?

Alright Aero I will tell my work that then, next school holiday I'm sure they'd be happy for me to fulfill my work commitments around his excessive bloody homework.
Stupid point well made

Aero
The OP has said that the camps were for childcare.
But they've also said that if their child did after school clubs and homework had to be done after they wouldn't make them do it anyway because they'd be tired so you may still have a point.
(Heaven knows how we all managed in schools that don't run supervised prep time until 5!!)

His school day includes time for prep, it isn't an after school club, all the kids have to do it, some of them board there overnight. He gets home at 6pm Monday to Friday and therefore doesn't have term time 'homework' to do.

I'm a bit bemused by the OP's demands for less homework during holidays when her child is at school until 5.30pm every day. Without wishing to sound judgemental, why is that not too much for a 9 year old? At my school 11 year olds are done in by 3.30pm. If they had to sit down after that for another 2 hours I would be a bit

Agree with you @Aeroflotgirl

Ok the camps were for childcare, you said that you did fun stuff, really I wou,d have completed homework before doing that. Get him to complete a bit of homework each day after camp. It does sound a lot though, not just a couple of pieces.

Trifle they do sports most days, they don't spend all day in the classroom. The school day structure seems to suit him with his ADHD, the day is very well broken up and all work completed before going home.

Aero a couple of pieces would have been no problem at all, he's done more than that with no complaints. The webpage and book reviews sent him over the edge yesterday.

And Trifle I think due to the days being so long that by the time the holidays come the kids are exhausted and need a proper break

I agree he is only 9, I remember the most we got was a couple of small pieces in the holidays. It sounds like the amount of homework my friends grammar school dd 12 has at the moment.

His school day includes time for prep, it isn't an after school club, all the kids have to do it, some of them board there overnight. He gets home at 6pm Monday to Friday and therefore doesn't have term time 'homework' to do

That's my point. You said that IF he had to do homework after after school clubs then you'd not have I him do it because it's too much. (After school clubs runs til 4ish, an hour homework til 5)

I find that very difficult to square with a child being in school until 5:30!
That's MORE time spent doing non lesson work/homework (as it's called in state)/prep etc.

It sounds to me you've got zero issues with there being a 5:30 finish (cynical me because that will probably fit around work which is part of why schools do it) but you have issues when it affects to you e.g. when you have to sit with him and do it.

It's got nothing to do with it being too much educationally for you and everything to do with the fact it's inconveniences you.

At least my view is consistent e.g. That's a lot of holiday work for a 9 year old AND it's a ridiculously long school day for a 9 year old.

I listed earlier what his holiday work consisted of and there was general agreement that it was too much for a 9 yr old irrelevant as to how much of an inconvenience it may be to me (which is daft and not an issue).
His school day works great for him, not me, him and that is why I chose that school. As said before he does not spend all day in the classroom, unlike state schools they do sports most days (everyday if they chose to), they have a section of each day to choose what club they want to take part in, both sport or non sport. At 3.45 they have a break and settle down at 4.15 for an hour of prep. They finish at 5.15 but faff about getting kit bags etc usually so leave at 5.30 most days.
Not sure why I'm feeling the need to explain to 'sceptics'
Thanks for all the advice, I will chat to his teacher next week, he's done what he can this holiday and that's ok with me.

It does feel a bit inconsistent, though, OP. You've sent him to a school where he never gets home before 6pm (whatever he is doing during the day that is a massively long day for a 9 year old) and then there is the inevitable complaint that he's tired and needs the holiday.

Oh well, that's your call. I was just curious.

There's no doubt that what he's been set for the holidays is a lot.
I just find that concern about holiday homework inconsistent with a school day that goes on so long because of prep.

(My cynicism on longer days comes from a state school near me suddenly offering a very similar set up to yours. Parents are falling over to get their kids there because it sorts their childcare issues out - their words.)

Trifle. My primary children only read during the holidays. They roll around in the daffodils and create/invent/imagine most of the break. They are all high achieving, well rounded and nice kids.

It is generally accepted that parenting has the biggest impact on educational achievement. My role is to ensure I provide a good rounded foundation and make good all round choices for my kids.

befuddledgardener:

As you can see from my comments, I don't set homework during the holidays. You are arguing against a point I didn't make. I am sure you are a wonderful parent.

My message to any parent in OP's situation is Don't Do Their Homework. I was 30% guilty - even found it fun. But I was skewering DC's chance of learning to get it done, time management, taking responsibility, proper estimation of DC's abilities and where DC needed help. Yes, another prep school, another DC who'd prefer sport/music. Wasn't helpful to DC at uni.

Maisypops, I think the difference here is that his school doesn't expect the kids to do long days for as long terms. For example they break up for summer at the end of June. The idea is that they work long days and have long holidays to recoup. I could not expect him to manage if he had to keep it going until the end of July.

I would never have him at a school that has 90 mins per night of homework aged 9. Wouldn't happen.

That's fine and your choice. But you have chosen to send him to a school that sets holiday work, so you should support the school to see that he gets it done and you should support your child to manage his time.

And I get that you are doing both of those things, but you are also moaning about it hence all the comments.

By the way my kids go to the local primary school. They aren't privately educated.

And they have PE every day.

I wonder about whether the drive for holiday work has come from the parents?

I have friends with children in a prep school with similar hours. There is a certain type of parent that structures their holidays to include daily work, tutors etc as well as sport and music lessons.

The children are largely fine, by the way, which surprised me at first. Perfectly balanced and lively.

I think it's too much homework and you need to feed it back to teachers.

However, in 3 weeks off I think you've kept him too busy and should allow more time at home to relax and also fit in homework. I realise the holidays are very long in private school but imo you should have taken that into consideration when you chose the school.

I doubt if the specifics of a particularly long set of homework for the Easter holidays of Y4 was mentioned in the school prospectus. OP has said this has never been a problem before.