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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be sat here doing most of my 9yr old ds's homework?

147 replies

Ihatecrafting · 21/04/2017 18:33

He goes back to school next week, he has had 3 weeks off, mostly at soccer / rugby camps and doing fun stuff. He has a shit tonne load of homework to do which has caused major sulk fests. I've tried to break it into doable chunks but with no joy. To save huge arguments and because he is 9 ffs I have started doing it with him - but mainly for him. I will go through it all with him before he goes back to school and quiz him etc. Am I being a soft touch?

OP posts:
danTDM · 21/04/2017 18:58

I imagine the OP means supervising.
Helping.
Not actually doing, doing.
I'm the same myself.

OffRoader · 21/04/2017 18:59

Waste of the teacher's time planning and assessing if parents do the work.

Teachers don't need to assess homework, they have no idea of how much support the child has had to complete it, or if they even did it!. They have hours of work completed in school time that is used for assessment.

Original poster
Ihatecrafting · 21/04/2017 19:08

At this age is homework just kind of keeping things ticking over rather than actual new learning etc? I may sound like an idiot but does the teaching happen in school and the reinforcing etc happen at home?

OP posts:
se22mother · 21/04/2017 19:20

Dd is 8 and has also been off at camps for the last three weeks. I have suffered the tantrums as she has worked very reluctantly through the mountain of homework. She hasn't been impressed but she's had lots of downtime at sports camp (and orchestra).

Bringmesunshite · 21/04/2017 19:22

Homework generally isn't new learning. It's reinforcing/practicing what has been studied. Or research into a topic.
Don't do your child's work. He learns more from the consequences of not doing it than you doing it for him.

user1491148352 · 21/04/2017 19:27

Why on earth does a 9 year old have that amount of homework?

I would write to the school and say he did not have the time to complete it.

If he read a couple of books over the holiday that is more than enough for a child of that age.

Times table revision should not take long - if he knows them.

HopeClearwater · 21/04/2017 19:29

This is a prep school, right?

I have to set homework for my primary school class. It is blindingly obvious when parents have done the homework. I have to mark it as well and that really annoys me. One of the parents actually asked me if she had 'done OK' on her son's homework!

JigglyTuff · 21/04/2017 19:36

You send your kid to prep, you get them to do the work.

ilovesooty · 21/04/2017 19:40

I didn't say that teachers assess homework but their time spent assessing and planning for the classroom is wasted if they have to mark homework the pupil didn't do. It's impossible to see how much the child has retained and understood or judge how much independent work they can do or what study skills they're developing.

GrassIsJewelled · 21/04/2017 19:44

YABU. How will the school measure his ability, and how will he learn the consequences of his actions if you do it for him? Sitting down at the table to do your own admin whilst he does his hw, or going to sit in the library together to work might be a better idea?

waterrat · 21/04/2017 19:44

Sounds like awful pointless homework. Most primary school homework is pointless. More parents should stand up to it.

Ad an exanple...writing book reviews is the sort of thing guaranteed to stop kids enjoying reading.

Mumzypopz · 21/04/2017 19:51

Not sure what people mean by prep school? (Isnt that private school?). Don't think the OP has said that, just said he is nine, which to me means he is in year five of a junior school or primary? Sounds like he has to much homework.

jelliebelly · 21/04/2017 19:53

That's a ridiculous amount of homework -dd(8) and ds(11) go to a quite academic private school but we've hardly had anything - it's meant to be a break from the full on daily grind of term time surely!

Mumzypopz · 21/04/2017 19:53

I do feel the ops pain....Surely lots of parents of nine year olds help out? I know I have done, whether it be helping with research or ideas and child doing the actual writing....Have been known to dictate sometimes for an easy life though.

JigglyTuff · 21/04/2017 19:59

He is at Prep school which is private school. You can tell because a) the quantity and nature of the homework and b) the length of the holiday.

If you choose to send your child to a school like this, they warn you of their expectations. It sounds utterly shit for the DS, especially as he has SN (my DS has a similar DX and homework is hard) but this was a choice his parents made.

0hCrepe · 21/04/2017 19:59

Poor kid that's far too much.
I've got a 10 and 12 yr old in y6 and y7. They get nothing like that.

Mumzypopz · 21/04/2017 20:06

But you can't know for sure he's at prep school surely? The OP hasn't said that? She might have just booked a longer holiday or it could be a church school or freeschool or something?

milliemolliemou · 21/04/2017 20:07

He's 9. Ask him to do it. Encourage him to do it. Teachers need to know what he's capable of. He needs to know the consequences of not doing it. If he doesn't know now he never will and it'll get worse.

DotForShort · 21/04/2017 20:08

Homework in primary school is generally pointless and counterproductive (with the exception of reading). Educational research bears this out. Two hours of homework a day for a 9-year-old is insane.

However, actually doing your child's homework does him no favours whatsoever. It sends precisely the wrong message. I would set a time limit, have him do what he can, send it in to school, and let the teacher know he has done 30 minutes of work each day (or whatever).

befuddledgardener · 21/04/2017 20:10

OP what are you teaching him by doing his homework for him?

Why not just email each of the teachers and explain that he's struggled to do the homework due to time restrictions. Then just get him to do the essential bits which tend to be reading and times tables. He's only 9 after all.

counterpoint · 21/04/2017 20:10

He would have gained more from the clubs than doing homework. Help him through it to keep the teachers 'satisfied'. They shouldn't have homework at 9 years old, for goodness sake!

befuddledgardener · 21/04/2017 20:12

Yes you'd be much better setting an alarm and giving him strictly half an hour per peice. Then write a comment at the bottom of the page '30 minutes work - signed mum'

AlexanderHamilton · 21/04/2017 20:18

Well my children went to a prep school & they never had holiday homework. State educated children in my local area (different schools of course may be different) always had holiday homework projects.

OwlinaTree · 21/04/2017 20:21

I would get him to do the normal amount set for a week x3 and that would be it.

Occadodo · 21/04/2017 20:26

I would have told him not to do the homework and sent a note into school explaining that this is DS's holiday ... so is had one !

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