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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To kick dh out

193 replies

Mrsdropdeadfred · 18/04/2017 10:39

Ok so dh went out last night at 11.30, said he was only going for a few pints and would be back soon so he could still help out with the kids in the morning (36 weeks pregnant and struggling to shift my fat arse at the moment)
To cut a long story short he's still not home. He was out two nights last week so it's not like he's desperate for freedom, he knows this sort of behaviour is a issue for me and it's something we've been arguing about recently. Apparently just because I'm pregnant, tired and insecure he should still be able to do what he wants (his words).
I also found out after some detective work on Facebook that the girl he added a few weeks ago who was 'just someone from work' turns out to be a girl he met at a nightclub.
Right now my head is up my arse, I'm sick of him promising he will change and everytime he goes out it turns into a massive bender. Right now I just want to start packing his shit up for when he eventually crawls back. He can never just have a few pints at the pub and I think what's worse is the lying about him not going out late and now who random girls are Hmm and I've just realised while typing this he's took my card and keys! So that's me and the kids stuck in the house Angry
Sorry for the rambling I'm far too embarrassed to talk to anyone irl about this

OP posts:
FanaticalFox · 18/04/2017 10:41

Wow definitely pack his stuff and get rid! Absolutely vile behaviour! Get the locks changed and order a new bank card. He is scum.

SmileEachDay · 18/04/2017 10:41

Can you get in touch with him?

Get your keys and card back and go out with the kids.

Don't deal with him whilst you are mad and he is hungover.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 18/04/2017 10:42

As above.

PurpleDaisies · 18/04/2017 10:42

He sounds like an absolute arse. Does he have any redeeming qualities?

Teddy6767 · 18/04/2017 10:43

I'd 100% leave him.
Life is too short to be stuck in an unhappy relationship full of insecurity and misery. His behaviour is vile and you deserve to be with someone who makes you feel fabulous and cared for! Or you deserve to be alone and able to live in peace without crap like this to deal with

DixieNormas · 18/04/2017 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bananamanfan · 18/04/2017 10:46

Did he deliberately lock you in the house with no access to money? If so you have bigger problems than a manchild going awol.
Yes pack his bags.

Justanothernameonthepage · 18/04/2017 10:48

Report your card stolen. Arrange for a locksmith ASAP (after all, you're hoping he's got them, they may have been stolen). Pack up his stuff into another room. Arrange a new birth partner.

AnyFucker · 18/04/2017 10:49

You tolerate this and keep having kids with him ? I just don't get it.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 18/04/2017 10:50

Get rid of him. It won't be long until the kids notice he prefers drinking and philandering to being a dad. That will make them feel awful. And to leave you to deal with everything while pregnant and exhausted? What actual use is he?

Justanothernameonthepage · 18/04/2017 10:50

Double check your legal position as well. If its his house and you're not married or on the deeds, it's better to move out/to family now before new baby is here instead of being kicked out with a newborn. If he's not on the deeds, then just kick him out.

Goldfishjane · 18/04/2017 10:51

He took your card and keys? That alone makes him an ass yiu need to get rid of.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 18/04/2017 10:57

If you call for a locksmith, will you be able to pay him, as your cards are probably with your 'partner'?

For fucks sake, what a mess, poor you!

How would your life be effected if you did split? Housing, money etc? To be honest it seems like a good idea if you can do it.

Your partner sounds like a complete and utter wanker who has no respect for you.

But think about whether it's better for you to split right now, or whether you need to bide your time to get things organized...

JohnCheese · 18/04/2017 11:06

He's a teenager and a shit.

He's still not home at 11am?? What if you went into labour. And the prospect of an OW. Sorry this is happening to you.
Get all your ducks in a row and get rid.

Original poster
Mrsdropdeadfred · 18/04/2017 11:07

We broke up in january 2016 due to his behaviour just after our youngest was born. Youngest passed away in April and it seemed to be a lightbulb moment for us both and he really seemed to have changed ( taking antideppresents, stop drinking as much , loads better with the kids and was also really supportive)
We've only been living together for the past few months and right now I just feel so stupid for thinking things were going to be different.
He made me feel like I was going insane when I questioned him about this girl and i dropped it thinking maybe I was just insecure, now I know he was just flat out lying to my face.
The house and everything is in my name so there's not much to worry about in that respect I just feel like if this is the end that I need to be 100% sure as I worry about how this affects the kids and I was worried all of this was just in my head.

OP posts:
SillyLittleBiscuit · 18/04/2017 11:08

I think you'd be unreasonable to not kick him out to be honest. Get rid and be kind to yourself.

MusicToMyEars800 · 18/04/2017 11:10

LTB!! you deserve better OP, I agree with previous posters.

MusicToMyEars800 · 18/04/2017 11:11

also just wnt tay sorry you are going through this Flowers you should be taking it easy and not getting so stressed being 36 weeks pregnant.

AnyFucker · 18/04/2017 11:11

Oh just get rid of this loser

He brings nothing but stress for you

MusicToMyEars800 · 18/04/2017 11:11

want to say

AnyFucker · 18/04/2017 11:11

And if he isn't shagging around, I will show my arse

sourgrapes28 · 18/04/2017 11:12

Pack his shit and throw it out the window if you can't leave the house. Can you call him and tell him to not bother coming home in the first place! That way saves a drunken/ hungover row. Cake Flowers

And a Wine Ginfor in a few weeks time.

SquinkiesRule · 18/04/2017 11:12

Cancel the card and call the locksmith. What a dick kick him out.

AnyFucker · 18/04/2017 11:13

Your house has more than one door, right ?

If not, it is highly dangerous to not have a spare key

EweAreHere · 18/04/2017 11:13

If you're locked in, can you call the police and ask them to break you out (since you can't pay presumably). What if there was an emergency of a fire?

Great role model you've picked for your children. I would be done with him if it was me.