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Original poster

To kick dh out

193 replies

Mrsdropdeadfred · 18/04/2017 10:39

Ok so dh went out last night at 11.30, said he was only going for a few pints and would be back soon so he could still help out with the kids in the morning (36 weeks pregnant and struggling to shift my fat arse at the moment)
To cut a long story short he's still not home. He was out two nights last week so it's not like he's desperate for freedom, he knows this sort of behaviour is a issue for me and it's something we've been arguing about recently. Apparently just because I'm pregnant, tired and insecure he should still be able to do what he wants (his words).
I also found out after some detective work on Facebook that the girl he added a few weeks ago who was 'just someone from work' turns out to be a girl he met at a nightclub.
Right now my head is up my arse, I'm sick of him promising he will change and everytime he goes out it turns into a massive bender. Right now I just want to start packing his shit up for when he eventually crawls back. He can never just have a few pints at the pub and I think what's worse is the lying about him not going out late and now who random girls are Hmm and I've just realised while typing this he's took my card and keys! So that's me and the kids stuck in the house Angry
Sorry for the rambling I'm far too embarrassed to talk to anyone irl about this

OP posts:
HerBluebiro · 18/04/2017 17:30

It is nothing to be embarrassed about that you thought he had changed and returned to that lovely man he was when your first two children were conceived. That you thought the behaviour in the middle was the blip. That your shared tragedy was enough to make him grow up.

He is the one who should be embarrassed by his behaviour.

garmsfresh · 18/04/2017 17:31

Well done OP Flowershe sounds like a utter bumhole

DixieFlatline · 18/04/2017 17:34

I've told him if he really wants to keep the phone then I keep his computer.

Just excellent. Stick to that stance.

he was round in ten minutes with 5 teenagers (ex is in his mid 30s btw) thinking he was some sort of hard man.

What does this mean? If he was trying to be threatening I would consider reporting him to the police.

I've now completely blocked him from everything until I'm ready to talk to him.

Also excellent.

His sister is disgusted with him a sent me £20 to cover what he took off me to spend on the kids which she didn't have to do but was lovely

Hopefully she gives him enough of a hard time that he gives it back to her.

Now I've just got to get used to doing this alone again.

Sounds like you're better off alone. As AF says, be embarrassed if you take the fucker back.

MrsChopper · 18/04/2017 17:39

He should be embarrassed treating you like that! You are doing the right thing for yourself and your children.

Willow2017 · 18/04/2017 17:51

Embarrassed? Hell no way! Be proud of yourself he has proved change is only temporary to get his feet under the table.

You will find you are stronger than you know when you have kids to fight for.

Turning up with a 'posse' of kids is pathetic what a prat.

YorkshireTree · 18/04/2017 18:23

Well done OP. I'm sorry for your loss and for the twattery.

You have been very strong.

Topseyt · 18/04/2017 18:47

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. He does though.

nackle · 18/04/2017 18:56

Now put your feet up and treat yourself, OP.
Well done, your kids won't go far wrong with you for a mummy. Flowers

ohfourfoxache · 18/04/2017 19:01

You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. You have done exactly the right thing and you should be damned proud of yourself Thanks

Msqueen33 · 18/04/2017 19:14

He sounds like an utter twat! Glad you've gotten rid.

Hekabe · 18/04/2017 19:27

Wow - just wow! You're incredible. What a woman - well done you. You should be so proud.

tabbymog · 18/04/2017 19:49

Wow - just wow! You're incredible. What a woman - well done you. You should be so proud.

Seconded! Wine Flowers

Original poster
Mrsdropdeadfred · 18/04/2017 19:52

I know I shouldn't be embarrassed, he put on a very good act. He had alot of people fooled.
Well everything was calm until I got a phone call then demanding his share of our sons ashes. I said we could organise him getting them but I wasn't just going to leave them out in the garden. All of a sudden he's trying to break down my front door, screaming and shouting etc I fell arse over tit trying to run to the door and make sure it was bolted. I tried to get him to piss off but he's having none of it so I told him to go round the corner and I'll put the bag with the ashes in on the door step, he finally does after I threaten to call the police.
I quickly put them outside and lock the door again, he grabs them then starts trying to kick the door down again!
I threaten to ring the police then he starts calling the kids to the window shouting at them 'look what mummy's making me do' while theyre crying. I saw red. Police were called, he ran off and they were here to take a statement within ten minutes.
He was then none stop ringing shouting abuse, he's going to ring social services and tell them I'm a psycho. Idiot dosent know I downloaded a call recorder today and while he's ranting and raving he's just proving more and more that he's a cunt.
I am raging. There is no going back now, not now he involved the kids. I'm done.
I swear if I'm ever stupid enough to fall for his lies again I'm going to read all of these messages and hit myself round the head with a pan.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsdropdeadfred · 18/04/2017 19:54

And again thank you so much for all of the messages. Flowers

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 18/04/2017 19:58

Oh lovely that's shocking and utterly despicable behaviour Sad you sound so bloody strong though. I know I'm just a random stranger but I'm so proud of you!!

PoorYorick · 18/04/2017 20:01

Hello OP. I hope you don't mind my outing your real identity but you did look rather amazing today.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 18/04/2017 20:04

Oh love, what an absolute wanker he is, I'm so, so very sorry 😢💐

Do you have anyone who can come & stay with you?

He will never change. If the death of your child doesn't make you grow the fuck up, nothing ever will. Hold onto that thought if you're tempted. I could say more, but I don't want to further upset you.

WateryTart · 18/04/2017 20:07

So much respect for you, OP.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 18/04/2017 20:13

You have achieved a lot in one day OP.

EweAreHere · 18/04/2017 20:18

Keep recording him every time he calls you or is in the vicinity. And call the police every time he threatens you. Imagine having such a low mental capacity to think it's bright to try to kick in your door, shout threatening abuse, threaten to lie to social services against a scared, very very pregnant woman!

Hang in there, OP. You're doing brilliantly. Your children are lucky to have you.

PeaFaceMcgee · 18/04/2017 20:19

He's so disgusting to pull that stunt with your son's ashes. Absolutely dispicable.

Religionorno · 18/04/2017 20:20

You are my hero, OP, well done! He's the one behaving like a psycho, very poor of him to throw names around given his abnormal behaviour. Stay strong, he does not deserve you.

SaltySalt · 18/04/2017 20:34

Wow you're an inspiration! Good for you you should be proud of yourself. Hope things calm down for you asap

MrsPringles · 18/04/2017 20:39

Op. You're amazing.
You're doing the best thing for you and your kids and you should be proud and not at all embarrassed.

Virtual high fives to you, stay strong Flowers

Inertia · 18/04/2017 20:59

Well done for staying so strong.

The fact that he has used the fear of your children and the death of your child to abuse you like this is horrifying, and shows you exactly who he is. Relieved to hear that the police are taking this seriously.

Be prepared for him to demand that he attends the birth - it would be very unwise for you to allow this, or even to tell him when you go into labour. Can you arrange babysitters for your older children who will keep quiet?

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