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Original poster

To kick dh out

193 replies

Mrsdropdeadfred · 18/04/2017 10:39

Ok so dh went out last night at 11.30, said he was only going for a few pints and would be back soon so he could still help out with the kids in the morning (36 weeks pregnant and struggling to shift my fat arse at the moment)
To cut a long story short he's still not home. He was out two nights last week so it's not like he's desperate for freedom, he knows this sort of behaviour is a issue for me and it's something we've been arguing about recently. Apparently just because I'm pregnant, tired and insecure he should still be able to do what he wants (his words).
I also found out after some detective work on Facebook that the girl he added a few weeks ago who was 'just someone from work' turns out to be a girl he met at a nightclub.
Right now my head is up my arse, I'm sick of him promising he will change and everytime he goes out it turns into a massive bender. Right now I just want to start packing his shit up for when he eventually crawls back. He can never just have a few pints at the pub and I think what's worse is the lying about him not going out late and now who random girls are Hmm and I've just realised while typing this he's took my card and keys! So that's me and the kids stuck in the house Angry
Sorry for the rambling I'm far too embarrassed to talk to anyone irl about this

OP posts:
Popskipiekin · 18/04/2017 12:51

Wow OP you are incredible Star. Do you have anyone you can call to back you up if he won't collect his stuff calmly? I see you've got your money safe, can you ring a locksmith - see if they'll take an online transfer from your other account (or do you have a card for that one too?)?

nackle · 18/04/2017 12:56

You've been put through the wringer, OP, so sorry for the loss of your little one. Flowers

Oly5 · 18/04/2017 12:57

He's a prize shit. You're not insecure and paranoid, very few women would put up with this.
Kick him out, say you'll have a think about when he can see the kids hit that you're done.
Keep going to bereavement counselling on your own, gather your friends and any supoort you have around you and make it through this. You will, you can.
You don't need this lowlife.
You have a new baby to look forward to and other beautiful children to raise. He can still see the kids but don't let him manipulate you. Good luck Wonder Woman

EweAreHere · 18/04/2017 12:59

He's never allowed out?!?!

You're 36 weeks pregnant, following the tragic loss of one of your other babies, and he went out 2 nights last week alone!

I'm glad you've packed his things and they're waiting for him. I'd put them OUTSIDE the door rather than inside and put a note out asking that he post his and your keys through the door.

AnyFucker · 18/04/2017 13:01

He is a piece of shit, love

Your life will be infinitely better without him bringing you down

Boooooom · 18/04/2017 13:01

Don't call a locksmith, for the sake of one screw they will charge you a fortune. Do look to change the locks (yourself, a mate) once you've kicked the dickhead out though...sounds like he can't argue with that if the house is in your name.
I'm 38 weeks and couldn't imagine having to deal with what you are going through so although I can't offer any useful advice (or come and change your locks for you) I hope you have someone who can step in as birthing partner and be there for you x

pennycann1 · 18/04/2017 13:02

OMG Op what a lot you have been through, and the amazing strength you are showing. Am sorry for the loss of your little one. And good luck with everything

SnicketyLemon · 18/04/2017 13:18

What a fucking tosspot he sounds!!! At 36 weeks into your fourth pregnancy and so soon after losing a child, you do not need that shit.
How old are your older ones? Sorry if you've already said.
(Another LTB vote)
Flowers for you.

Miserylovescompany2 · 18/04/2017 13:22

I'd of dumped his shit in the garden. He's not even worth your words! (He'll merely twist them further)

BoredOnMatLeave · 18/04/2017 13:24

I've met some right cunts in my time but it sounds like he is the leader. Please kick him out, don't put yourself or your children through anymore of this.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby Flowers

There is absolutely nothing dear about your 'd'h. Who even goes out at 11.30pm? I thought pubs close at 12? Where the bloody hell did he fall asleep? It doesn't even matter. Again, he is a cunt.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 18/04/2017 13:26

What a prick. So he went straight on the defence.

Wait till he starts the charm offensive.

You and your kids will do fine without this waster.

Any man who brings negativity into your life should be fucked off. Life's too short.

HouseworkIsASin10 · 18/04/2017 13:27

*Goes for any partner who brings negativity

Rossigigi · 18/04/2017 13:32

Who goes out at 11:30 at night? Or I getting old?????

MrsChopper · 18/04/2017 13:33

He sounds like an absolute waste of space! His reaction about your so called 'paranoia' just adds to me thinking he has been cheating on you.

Call a locksmith if you can afford to and change the locks so the loser can just walk in whenever he pleases. Sorry about your baby Flowers

TheDevilMadeMeDoIt · 18/04/2017 13:36

When he tries to make this all your fault - you're paranoid, unstable whatever - DON'T BELIEVE HIM.

When that doesn't work and he turns on the apologies and the promises and the charm - DON'T BELIEVE HIM.

None of this is your fault. He's a nasty, abusive, selfish and pathetic excuse for a man. Stay strong and when you're ready and all your ducks are in order, chuck him out for good.

user7298922193 · 18/04/2017 13:37

Where exactly did he fall asleep?!?! I'm confused by his story. Angry

hellsbellsmelons · 18/04/2017 13:38

Just adding to the chorus of well done kicking his arse out.
You just need to stay strong and stick by it.
What an awful thing to do to someone you supposedly love who is 36 weeks PG with your DC.
He really is lower than low!
WTF would you go out at 11:30 at night?

GinIsIn · 18/04/2017 13:39

What a total shit! Do not let him gaslight you! And don't be drawn into a debate. Anything he says just respond with "I don't care, I've had enough. Please leave." And keep repeating! Your family do not deserve this - if you let him stay what kind of behaviour does it teach your boys that women should put up with? Flowers for you

JammyGem · 18/04/2017 13:41

**He is a piece of shit, love

Your life will be infinitely better without him bringing you down**

Couldn't have put it better myself.

Original poster
Mrsdropdeadfred · 18/04/2017 13:43

Thank you so much for all of the messages. My kids are 4 and 2. All of his stuff is waiting but I've obviously asked for my card and keys back and he's being a nobhead about it.
I know I can get a replacement card ( even though it's a pain in the arse) but I dont know what the hell to do about my keys. I don't really have the money for a locksmith, couldn't even get out to go and get a new lock even if I did know how to fit one. I don't know what the fuck to do Angry

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/04/2017 13:44

What a complete waste of space. He's cheating, too, isn't he? And yes, who the hell goes out at 11.30 at night, especially if they've got a partner who's nearly at her due date?

ladyratterley · 18/04/2017 13:45

The last time I had a man behave like this with me he was cheating on me. Nobody could genuinely think it's acceptable to go out at 11.30pm, then go off radar until lunchtime the next day. My ex did exactly the same thing and tried to turn it on me saying I was being "mental" and "paranoid"

Good luck without him. You and your kids don't need a selfish (and most likely lying) dick like this in your lives.

ImperialBlether · 18/04/2017 13:45

If he dared to say that he's behaved like that because of the death of your baby, OP, I would have to throw him out of the nearest window. This is a man who is completely without empathy.

Bananamanfan · 18/04/2017 13:46

Call 101, op & report that your dh has locked you in the house.

ImperialBlether · 18/04/2017 13:46

And watch out for him crying. They always do that.