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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In thinking it's wrong having to explain my sex life to my parents?

152 replies

ScouseBird8364 · 16/04/2017 22:47

Loooooong story short, me (34) and my sister (39, a crank!) basically fell out a long time ago (my parents also had to wash their hands of her) and over the past 6 months or so, she has decided to divulge my 'secrets' which I confided in her with over the years, to my parents, but in relation to guys I've dated, or affairs / flings I've had. My parents told me they "didn't think I was like that" - obviously thought I'd never had sex and my children were conceived by immaculate conception Hmm. Anyhow, a recent 'fling' I've had (I've been single now for 8 months) she has found out about and yet again, decided to divulge this to my mum. Now, I'm getting the sh!tty texts from my mum, telling me I'm wrong for having sex with a guy etc, and I'm sat here like a quivering wreck in case my dad finds out - he would disown me! I'm 34, AIBU to think my sex life has nothing to do with my parents and is my business??

OP posts:
Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 16/04/2017 22:47

Sorry I can't paragraph on this Mumsnet App on my phone, for some reason x

OP posts:
PickAChew · 16/04/2017 22:49

Of course yanbu. You're a grown woman!

ImperialBlether · 16/04/2017 22:50

What a bitch your sister is! I would die if someone did that to me.

Could you deny everything? Say you don't know what she's on about?

FelixtheMouse · 16/04/2017 22:51

You are definitely NBU. It's your business and no one else's.

Flyinggeese · 16/04/2017 22:52

Agree with Imperial just deny. None of their damn business!

Crispmonster1 · 16/04/2017 22:54

That's horrendous! It no ones business. How embarrassing. Your sister is special.

TheNewMrsTomHardy · 16/04/2017 22:57

YADNBU!!
This is your private life and really has nothing to do with anyone else. Of course your parents will be concerned - you will always be a child in their eyes - but they should respect your privacy and the right to live your life as you see fit.

As for your sister - if it was me my reaction would be to scream and shout and find out why she's decided to do this to you now.

Why are you so frightened of your father finding out? Do your parents have trouble seeing you as an adult?

foxyloxy78 · 16/04/2017 22:57

Just tell them you are a grown woman and will have relationships or whatever with whomever you like. You sister is a royal ass!

MadisonMont · 16/04/2017 22:59

If your parents have washed their hands of her then why does she keep popping up to them to tell them about your latest shag? ... extremely odd behaviour.

Personally I'd find out how she found out in the first place

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 16/04/2017 23:00

I don't like lying so I confirmed what she'd said. But this recent one (guy was a neighbour), my mum was questioning me; "telling me off" because my children were sleeping upstairs (it was late at night; neighbour came in for a cuppa) etc, but would I be unreasonable to say to my parents I'm not willing to go into "detail" about my sexual encounters, as, nevermind embarrassing, it's just weird? ConfusedHmmBlushBlush

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loaferloveforyou · 16/04/2017 23:00

YANBU

How did she find out about the recent fling? (Probably not relevant)

Could you brazen it out and be like "yeah I did date X and I'm an adult so I can make my own choices and it's nothing to do with you"

As an aside, I chose what I tell my DSis as often she can become unreasonable and I don't trust her not to divulge or do a FB status (yes really!!)

Winniethepooer · 16/04/2017 23:00

Why does your sister know about your most recent relationship?

YANBU tell ur Mum, dad & sister to mind their own business!

CauliflowerSqueeze · 16/04/2017 23:02

"sorry mum - it's just not your business. I'm trying to block out all the appalling things she says about you and dad"

HecateAntaia · 16/04/2017 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WatchingFromTheWings · 16/04/2017 23:04

I'd be responding to all the texts with 'it is none of your business'.

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 16/04/2017 23:04

I think my mum is very old fashioned re sex and relationships (she's only ever been with my dad), however, my dad is actually the opposite! My sister is a Borderline, but because the family have fallen out with her she hounds us (I had to file a Police report). She has told my parents most things I have confided in her with! BlushAngry

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Flyinggeese · 16/04/2017 23:04

You know OP I hesitated before my last reply because I am also someone who can't sand lies, even little ones. Even white lies. They really make me distrust a person, I really value straight talking. But what you're describing really crosses a line. What if your parents started talking about their sex life to you?! You'd rather a white lie or to dodge the conversation right?

OlennasWimple · 16/04/2017 23:06

Cauliflower's answer is perfect

EmmaC78 · 16/04/2017 23:07

How does your sister know about recent relationships if you are not talking to her?

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 16/04/2017 23:08

HecateAntai that made me smile for the first time all weekend Wink I've literally not ate since Saturday (when my mum rang me) and sat here like a quivering wreck! Ridiculous, I know... But I'm dreading the 'slag' texts from my dad (yup, he's got a way with words my father!) Sad

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Glossolalia · 16/04/2017 23:08

Your DSis is a dick.

Glossolalia · 16/04/2017 23:09

Slag Hmm

Jesus OP, no offence but your family sound... horrible umm challenging?

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 16/04/2017 23:10

Emmac78 I'm baffled actually Hmm Basically she told my mum she'd received a message from someone claiming to know the guy, but my sister doesn't even live in the same city as me, it's all very suspicious?

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skincarejunkie · 16/04/2017 23:11

Cauliflower has it nailed!

Original poster
ScouseBird8364 · 16/04/2017 23:11

Glossolalia yours made me chuckle too Wink

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