To think my friend is a tight arse???

[FataliePorkman]

Just been out for lunch with three friends and our DCs- the children all had the same (lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake) but us adults ate/drank varying amounts. Two of the friends are a couple and the other is single like me. Let's call her Joan.

3/4 of us shared a bottle and extra glass of wine and 2 soft drinks. Joan didn't drink as she lives further away from the pub than us so was driving.
We all had a starter and a main course and then we got a chessboard to share between us- but only me and the couple had some. Joan had 3 DC with her, I have 3 DC and the couple have 1 DC.

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Awkward tension followed- Joan paid for her meal and her DC while me and my other two friends split the bill.

AIBU to think she is a bit tight??

It spoils the meal doesn't it? when someone behaves like that.

Has she done it before

Well she didn't drink any of the wine or eat any of the cheese board so that's why she didn't feel it fair to split the bill.

She didn't drink alcohol, she didn't have the cheeseboard, why the fuck should she subsidise your alcohol and cheese?

Did it work out much cheaper for her and is she having to budget?

You got the best deal as you had three dcs to pay for and had the wine and cheese!

Maybe she couldn't afford to?

She was being reasonable, ywbu to make it awkward. You suggested splitting the bill and she said no, you could have just said "ok no worries, we'll all pay for our own".

I think if you'd all had the same, yes, it would have been a bit tight. However, as someone who doesn't drink much, I would be a bit pissed off about paying for the drink and cheese board (I assume that was a typo?!). So I think YABU.

So Joan didnt drink the wine or eat the cheese? But you wanted Joan to pay for it?

Why should Joan pay for what she hasnt had?

Are you serious?

Maybe she doesn't have as much spare cash as you? I don't think it's a big deal and there was no need for you to feel awkward.

Why should she pay for your food and drink?

I think this is a reverse

Because obviously you didn't expect her to actually pay for wine and s cheeseboard she didn't have.

I don't think it's a big deal or awkward that she wanted to pay for what she had. I guess it was a bit less than what she would have paid otherwise, so why not?

Yes YABU unless you're going to drip feed how loaded she is.
Personally I hate it when couples count themselves as one when they are in a group which includes singles.

There will have been a reason. Maybe things are a bit tight just now and that's why she didn't drink or share the cheeseboard.

It actually sounds tight of you to expect her to subsidise your drinking imo!

I'm with Joan tbh. I wouldn't be paying for someone else's drinks.

I don't think it matters too much how you split the bill. What's important is that you should have agreed as a group beforehand as to how the bill will be paid. Why cause these arguments in the first place? You are friends surely?
Also, if I'd had a chessboard afterwards, I'd have been up all Knight!

If she didn't drink wine, eat the cheese then that's fair enough! Her share of the bill was far less than yours or the others.

Yes, YABU.
Why do you think she should pay for your wine and your cheeseboard ?

Obvs I don't know the price of the dcs meals, but IME her meal + 3 boxes wouldn't have come to as much as 2 adults + 1 dc even before the wine.

Got to be a reverse. If not tabs to expect her to sub your wine and cheese.

No I don't think she is, what's wrong with not wanting to subsidise other people's wine and cheese? It's fine to just pay for what you've had.