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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is a tight arse???

575 replies

FataliePorkman · 15/04/2017 18:20

Just been out for lunch with three friends and our DCs- the children all had the same (lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake) but us adults ate/drank varying amounts. Two of the friends are a couple and the other is single like me. Let's call her Joan.

3/4 of us shared a bottle and extra glass of wine and 2 soft drinks. Joan didn't drink as she lives further away from the pub than us so was driving.
We all had a starter and a main course and then we got a chessboard to share between us- but only me and the couple had some. Joan had 3 DC with her, I have 3 DC and the couple have 1 DC.

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Awkward tension followed- Joan paid for her meal and her DC while me and my other two friends split the bill.

AIBU to think she is a bit tight??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2017 18:26

I am with Joan.

It isn't fair to expect people to pay more when they haven't had a roughly equivalent share.

Reverse.

Lakegeneva40 · 15/04/2017 18:27

Yabu not tabs.

statetrooperstacey · 15/04/2017 18:27

Weren't there four of you in total , so why split the bill 3 ways? Surely you didn't count the couple as 1?

JustSpeakSense · 15/04/2017 18:27

OP

Joan, is that you? Wink

Trifleorbust · 15/04/2017 18:28

Of course she shouldn't pay more because you decided to eat and drink more than she did.

AlternativeTentacle · 15/04/2017 18:28

Splitting it three ways surely means that the two adults in a couple are being subsidised by the two single people? They saw you coming.

CantChoose · 15/04/2017 18:28

how different was her total from the split between the rest of you? If it was a lot then it sounds like she's being reasonable tbh, cheese and wine are often the most expensive bits of a meal. If it worked out at only a couple of pounds less then yes, she's being tight...

HarrietKettleWasHere · 15/04/2017 18:28

I wouldn't pay an extra £5 or whatever for stuff I hadn't had. I wouldn't expect my 'friends' to bitch and moan about me afterwards that I was 'tight', either Hmm

Crispmonster1 · 15/04/2017 18:29

Team Joan

Lepetitmarsellais · 15/04/2017 18:29

I thought reversy percy too

I'm with Joan. She didn't drink the wine or eat the cheese.

Trifleorbust · 15/04/2017 18:29

And it is pure cheek for the couple to pay 1/3 between them when they made up half of the party of adults at the meal. Confused

Floralnomad · 15/04/2017 18:29

If I were the friend I'd have done the same .

LettuceMash · 15/04/2017 18:29

Reverse. For sure.

Brokejoke · 15/04/2017 18:30

I generally prefer splitting the bill, but if one person hasn't had alcohol or something expensive that the others have had I don't think it's fair for them to have to pay for it. I agree with Joan.

longlostpal · 15/04/2017 18:30

Also surely it would have been fairer to split it 4 ways? Then everyone is paying for 1 adult, 1.75 kids and 0.25 wine/cheese, so given the wine/children distribution in the group would have been a more even split surely?

Northgate · 15/04/2017 18:30

Maybe she can't afford to subsidise other people's meals?

You could argue that the person suggesting that the bill be split was the one being a tight arse, because they knew splitting the bill would mean them paying less than the cost of what they'd ordered. Joan's drinks and meal bill would have been less than everyone else's after all.

passingcloud · 15/04/2017 18:30

Aside from the question of her subsidising the drinks and cheese (which I understand her not wanting to do if she's on a budget) - this reads that there were FOUR adults there but the couple suggested splitting the bill THREE ways. Is that a typo?? Otherwise it's the couple who WBVVVVVVVU.....

CookieLady · 15/04/2017 18:30

Why would the bill be spilt three ways? Adults eat more than kids. IMHO it should have been split four ways at the very least. To be honest her asking to pay for her and kids' items is perfectly fine.

silver1977 · 15/04/2017 18:31

YABU - I have 3 children and struggle when it comes to going out and meeting up, the cost of things really add up. Seeing as she had to drive (petrol cost too?!) you should have all suggested paying your own so she didn't feel awkward, why should she pay for your alcohol and cheeseboard? Sometimes I say no to a dessert because of the mounting cost so would be really p* off to have to pay for everyone elses! I would have wished I'd had one IYSWIM! Whenever I go out with friends (just us no kids) whoever drove or isn't drinking doesn't pay a penny. She is probably considering how unreasonable you all were today, shouldn't be the other way round!

gamerchick · 15/04/2017 18:31

Splitting it three ways surely means that the two adults in a couple are being subsidised by the two single people? They saw you coming

Yep, there's the cheek right there.

longlostpal · 15/04/2017 18:31

statetrooper I think the logic of 3 ways comes from the fact that the couple only have 1 child whereas the 2 single adults have 3 each.

Bluntness100 · 15/04/2017 18:31

I'd have just done the three way split, I can't imagine there was much in it but maybe she has some financial issues.

ChasedByBees · 15/04/2017 18:31

Did the couple really try and count themselves as one person? Absolutely I would have spoken up. I would have been with Joan if that's not a typo. And the couple friends would be VU to suggest that!

Why on earth would it be awkward if one persons suggests a different way to pay? Just accept it and move on.

CupcakeBabaPoo · 15/04/2017 18:31

YABU.

Joan didn't have the wine and cheese so why should she pay?

bigmack · 15/04/2017 18:31

What do you mean by couples? Were there 2 couples plus Joan - 5 adults? So Joan was expected to pay for your wine and cheese plus contribute to an extra 2 meals?