Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is a tight arse???

575 replies

FataliePorkman · 15/04/2017 18:20

Just been out for lunch with three friends and our DCs- the children all had the same (lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake) but us adults ate/drank varying amounts. Two of the friends are a couple and the other is single like me. Let's call her Joan.

3/4 of us shared a bottle and extra glass of wine and 2 soft drinks. Joan didn't drink as she lives further away from the pub than us so was driving.
We all had a starter and a main course and then we got a chessboard to share between us- but only me and the couple had some. Joan had 3 DC with her, I have 3 DC and the couple have 1 DC.

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Awkward tension followed- Joan paid for her meal and her DC while me and my other two friends split the bill.

AIBU to think she is a bit tight??

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
NotNowNow · 15/04/2017 18:51

Lol, I missed the bit where one of the couple suggested splitting the bill 3 ways between the four adults.

this makes is even more, umm, weird.... unbelievable

To think my friend is a tight arse???
AnoiseAnnoysanOyster · 15/04/2017 18:52

Team Joan.

Of course she shouldn't pay for your wine or cheese, come on.

Katedotness1963 · 15/04/2017 18:53

Funny, it's always the people who order the most that complain others don't want to split the bill evenly...

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/04/2017 18:53

So you and the couple expect Joan to subsidise your wine and cheeseboard? Someone's a tightarse, and it ain't Joan!

And why should the bill be split in THREE when there were FOUR adults? I see it's been suggested it's because they had one child and you and Joan had three; but I very much doubt that "lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake" is within the same price range as wine and cheeseboards.

Asmoto · 15/04/2017 18:53

I normally prefer splitting the bill if it's a group of adults - per adult, not per couple if some are single, because the messing around adding up who had what isn't a relaxing end to a pleasant meal. But, if someone had significantly less, I'd suggest they contributed less or paid for their own.

However if you're in a group where some have three children, some have one and some have none at all, splitting the bill becomes vastly unfair, so I'd say from the outset that everyone should pay for their own food.

BaxterStockboy · 15/04/2017 18:53

In my circle of friends, Bill gets split according to how many adults there were. Spitting 3 ways when there were 4 adults is ridiculous. Joan did right. Kids meals don't cost a lot so unless one dc had more than their fair share/ordered from main menu I wouldn't begrudge their share being split. 2 adults eating and drinking alcohol and expecting to be counted as one person is an absolute piss take.

JustCallMeKate · 15/04/2017 18:53

It's only been 30 minutes Kate

I know, but I'm an impatient bitch and want to see how much the bill actually was and see if it's a reverse Grin

Questioningeverything · 15/04/2017 18:54

I frigging hate when op doesn't come back. Team Joan

JustSpeakSense · 15/04/2017 18:55

Come back Joan OP and tell us what the bill came to

topcat2014 · 15/04/2017 18:56

I remember a group meal, where, upon proposing splitting the bill, another member actually ordered lobster, then also white wine, as the red he already had didn't go with the lobster.

I was driving, and had ordered chicken korma and lemonade.

Mind you, I think I paid my 'split' anyway - and even then coughed up some more because there seemed to be nothing for a tip

20 years on, still bitter

Sallystyle · 15/04/2017 18:56

Not as tight as my friend. I was asked to transfer a single pound to her bank account as she put a pound cash towards a coffee for me as I had run out of change. I took her out for a meal, paid fully by me a few weeks before and every time we go out for coffee I pay for hers, except for this one time where I was a pound short.

No more.

In this case I agree with Joan.

gamerchick · 15/04/2017 18:56

Dunno reverses are worse.

If you had a big win at bingo there would be outrage if a couple were classed as one person. Why should it be different when paying for stuff?

gamerchick · 15/04/2017 18:56

Dunno reverses are worse.

If you had a big win at bingo there would be outrage if a couple were classed as one person. Why should it be different when paying for stuff?

KitKat1985 · 15/04/2017 18:56

I'm with team Joan here too. I would concede that Joan would be coming across as tight if there was only a couple of quid difference in how much you each owe, but if she wasn't drinking and didn't touch the cheese board then you must owe significantly more than her, so you and the couple actually come across as quite rude expecting her to subsidise your meal. I've been Joan - I live out in the sticks and often have to drive to meals out and have also had people expecting me to subside their £25 bottle of wine when I've only drank a £2 glass of orange juice all evening on more than one occasion.

My rule is that if everyone eats / drinks roughly equivalent amounts, then split the bill to save the faffiness. But if there are clear differences between how much people have eaten / drunk then each person should just cover what they owe.

Willow2017 · 15/04/2017 18:57

No not really keen on the idea of paying for another 3 adults wine and cheese board thanks. 3 kids box meals wouldnt equal all that wine and cheese in a restaraunt.

She paid for what she and her kids had, the rest of you could do whatever you wanted with what was left.

If you had all had roughly the same then it would have been a different matter you split it 4 ways but you didnt.

Sallystyle · 15/04/2017 18:57

BTW I was a pound short because I was at a place where they didn't accept card payments and I wasn't expecting to go for a coffee.

WhisperingLoudly · 15/04/2017 18:58

Come back OP and tell us what you saved!

ghostyslovesheets · 15/04/2017 18:58

yup I'm with Team Joan

3 of you drank and ate cheese - she didn't - why should she pay

oh and yes - the bill should be 4 ways anyway! unless the couple only ate 1 persons food

honeycheeerios · 15/04/2017 18:59

The bill should be split evenly into number of adults (not couples) as long as everyone has had same number of courses and alcohol,

If anyone hasn't drunk and/or eaten significantly less then they should get to pay their own individual share separately.

Team Joan.
YABU.

topcat2014 · 15/04/2017 19:00

I agree with Asmoto - among a small group of good friends we always split per adult - any small variances will disappear over time.

But then, we tend to all be doing the same - ie we all had starters, got taxis etc.

Beebeeeight · 15/04/2017 19:01

If she's budgeted for what she had she maybe didn't have the cash for more.

Punishing the driver isn't fair.

holidaychocs · 15/04/2017 19:03

The couple made out like bandits

Jeaniusly · 15/04/2017 19:03

Someone needs to say what the difference was.

For example a bottle of wine and a couple of soft drinks together with a cheese board divided by three = saving to non drinking non cheese eater.

I dunno what the saving was to friend.

If it was minimal, I wouldn't have made a fuss, could be my turn to drink the wine next time.

Anyway these things should be ironed out BEFORE the bill comes so no one is taken by surprise.

I have no problem with a big night out where a person is only having mains and water saying NO, I'll pay for myself. Too often not saying that means a very big subsidy for others.

WarwickDavisAsPlates · 15/04/2017 19:05

I'm Team Joan!

I once went for a work meal, leaving do type thing, I had exactly £30 to spend which included my money for the £10 taxi home. I had a small main meal and diet cokes so I'd stay in budget and not have to walk home.

Some cow had a starter, main course, dessert and was ordering endless bottles of wine. At the end of the meal guess who was suggesting splitting the bill evenly. I was quite new to the team so was silently fuming but too nervous to speak up. Luckily my boss piped up and said "no that's hardly fair, we will all just pay for what we had"

Speaking to the other team
Members the next day it seemed they all thought the "even splitting" lady was a cheeky cow looking to get a cheaper meal.

MrsMeeseeks · 15/04/2017 19:05

It's so excruciating when you only have enough to pay for your own order and then someone suggests splitting the bill.

Swipe left for the next trending thread