To think my friend is a tight arse???

[FataliePorkman]

Just been out for lunch with three friends and our DCs- the children all had the same (lunchboxes with a carton drink and then a small crispy cake) but us adults ate/drank varying amounts. Two of the friends are a couple and the other is single like me. Let's call her Joan.

3/4 of us shared a bottle and extra glass of wine and 2 soft drinks. Joan didn't drink as she lives further away from the pub than us so was driving.
We all had a starter and a main course and then we got a chessboard to share between us- but only me and the couple had some. Joan had 3 DC with her, I have 3 DC and the couple have 1 DC.

Anyway the bill came and friend from the couple suggested we split the bill 3 ways equally. I was fine with this, as were the couple. Joan refused and said she would only pay for what her and her DC had.

Awkward tension followed- Joan paid for her meal and her DC while me and my other two friends split the bill.

AIBU to think she is a bit tight??

Another vote for team Joan AKA OP

It's really tacky and 'tight arse' to suggest sharing the bill if you have spent more than other people.

I'm for splitting bills, until booze is involved. If one person doesn't drink then they shouldn't have to pay for booze. Booze can often cost more than the food (with my mates anyway). Note: I always have a wine but never expect anyone else to pay for it if they don't.

Dowload the Splitwise app. That way everyone can keep track of exactly who owes what.

Surely OP is either;
Joan or on drugs

I'm with Joan. She didn't have any alcohol or anything from the cheese board. Why should she have to pay.

It's really tacky and 'tight arse' to suggest sharing the bill if you have spent more than other people.

This.

When you know someone else would be paying your share, you should be upfront about what you had and throw more in.

Op, come back and tell us how much Joan paid and how much your share was. That would be interesting.

Still team Joan though.

We need some numbers.

How much was the total bill, and how much did Joan pay in the end?

ie - how much were you trying to rip her off by?

Definite reverse
Poor joan didn't have a drink!

We always pay separately when we go out. Mainly because I'm not a drinker or a meat ester and so my 'share' is always less than everyone else's and I don't have a lot of spare cash. I find splitting equally weird unless you all order the same, but I realise I am in the minority there

I think it was a bit shitty of the couple to expect the bill only to be split 3 ways after quaffing wine and having the cheeseboard. I'm for team Joan too.

You lost me at splitting the bill 3 ways.

Fuck that shit.

THERE WAS 4 ADULTS SO BILL GETS SPLIT 4 WAYS.... before any if the other issues come into play.

Well done Joan, shame on the Siamese twins couple

Team Joan here too.

In the situation you describe I would have agreed to split the bill four ways but no way on this earth would I have entertained subsidising the couple, as another pp said the couple saw you coming.

Well done Joan.

With that distribution of adults & children, everyone should have been paying for themselves and their own children. Too complicated otherwise, and open to potential misunderstandings about fairness.

Gotta say, 1 non-drinking non-cheese eating adult & 3 kids DEFINITELY costs less than 2 drinking, cheese-eating adults & 1 child. Bet the bill reflected that too. Cheeky buggers!

Another team Joan here.

Also if I'd have had a chessboard afterwards, I'd have been up all Knight!

^ this got lost in all the cries of Team Joan, but can we just appreciate scurryfunge for a minute - this is excellent work

If I go out with other singles, even if they have wine (I don't), I'll split the bill.

But I've been caught out when I've been the only single with two couples.

And why three ways in your case? two adults + child equals more than 1 adult plus 3 I would have thought - especially when there's wine and cheese in the mix.

You're having a laugh!

You and the couple are the tight arse ones here

Why should a bill be split three ways when there's four adults?
Why should a non drinker pay for other people's alcohol?
Why should someone pay for a cheeseboard they didn't share?

Yabvu

Joan needs some better friends

I will always split the bill equally and am happy to do so but I went to an event recently where everybody except me was drinking (I was driving, and driving others in the party). I had one meal of less than a tenner, had one coke and then water. Bottle after bottle of wine and prosecco were being ordered, some also had starters and desserts. When the bill came, I was asked for £40!! Er, no...for once I stood my ground, my "share" was £12 but the looks on everybody's faces. I felt utterly shit about but there was no way I was paying £40 for food and drink I didn't have!

The only tight friends you have is the couple. They want others to subsidise their meals. If they want bogof then they need to only eat where this is a deal. You don't get mates to fund this nonsense.

Reverse right?
The person who spent the least (e.g. The one who didn't drink) gets to choose wether you split the bill or pay for what you have.
Either way I'm on team Joan

Why do people post threads then not return to them? 🙄

Joan, MN stands with you

I always split the bill where amounts are similar and certainly won't quibble over £5 or so. However I do prefer not to split where there is a significant difference, such as one person not drinking or some people having additional courses. I am often budgeting (we have a huge childcare bill each month with two DC in nursery at present) and I can't subsidise other peoples choices and don't expect others to subsidise mine. I was once out of pocket £30 meeting friends for lunch!

it's only been 30 minutes kate!