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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about topless sunbathing?

281 replies

Belle1102 · 05/04/2017 15:32

Topless sunbathing on holiday can be just about tolerated. I, myself, have done it on occasion if the General vibe of the place seems totally laid back about it.
AIBU to be annoyed about the woman next door to me walking around her garden in nothing but a tiny thong with her huge fake boobs out?! I don't want to be looking at her practically naked body when I'm wanting to go into my garden. Plus my DP will get an eyeful of her too which will make me feel a bit shit. And whose to say that the neighbour's on the other side of her house two little boys won't get an eyeful too.
People can do what they want in their own homes and gardens, but here is nothing but a very low fence separating us and she is only about 1 meter away from my living room window Angry

OP posts:
willconcern · 05/04/2017 16:06

I am laughing out loud at it being disrespectful to neighbouring married men to be top less in the garden. As if said married men would be unable to contain themselves when faced with such a thing.

Good lord. They are just body parts.

PetyrBaelish · 05/04/2017 16:08

Go out in just your pants yourself and start a conversation with her - don't let her get away. She'll never do it again...

picklemepopcorn · 05/04/2017 16:10

Chapel coat pegs leap to mind.

I'd find it very disconcerting, and would feel as if I didn't know where to look. I suppose you'll get used to it..? Hmm

I'm surprised that nearly naked is so acceptable to almost everyone here. I'm pretty sure you can't do absolutely anything in your garden- didn't someone get done for sex in their garden?
If the back garden is as lacking in privacy as that, then she may as well be walking along the pavement which presumably isn't ok.

picklemepopcorn · 05/04/2017 16:10

Cross post, flora!

upperlimit · 05/04/2017 16:11
Grin

Holy fuck, topless sunbathing in 13c! I still have the central heating on. I wouldn't start a war that neighbour, she's clearly as hard as fucking nails.

picklemepopcorn · 05/04/2017 16:12

Play themed music very loudly...
"I've got a loverly pair of coconuts...", "knock knock knockers on heavens door" etc.

MaidOfStars · 05/04/2017 16:12

It is not illegal to be naked in public. She could take the thong off and walk down the high street if she wanted. It only becomes an offence if the intent is to provoke upset.

Nancy91 · 05/04/2017 16:13

I sunbathe with my huge fake boobs out in the garden, as far as I know my neighbours don't stare at me though. I think Yabu, but she is odd to be sunbathing in cardigan weather!

Deadsouls · 05/04/2017 16:13

Hmmm that's what I was thinking, it's not that warm!

didnotplanthis · 05/04/2017 16:14

This is what you must do.

Undress. Wear your best granny pants. Take a cuppa out and have a chat with her.

Say something like "Who did your implants? I wanted some too, but I was worried about those toxic gel packs used by some surgeons".

If her breasts are so natural to her, than make them both your focal point and talking point.

Mysterycat23 · 05/04/2017 16:17

Ooh this thread has gone better than I could have dreamed! Therefore regardless of my post baby blubber I can still sunbathe, and even do it topless in the peace of my own heavily overlooked garden?! Woop! Good bye tan lines Grin

TomaytoTomahto · 05/04/2017 16:17

Be a good neighbour and throw her some sunscreen.

Instasista · 05/04/2017 16:18

Totally unreasonable. What's wrong with boobs in your own home?

You'd pass out here OP people sunbathe topless in the park

FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 16:19

What's this "abroad" business?

Either it's fine or it's not fine.

Slagging off her "fake breasts" is really unnecessary as well.

floraeasy · 05/04/2017 16:19

LOL, pickle

How's about Knockers, knockers on....oh no, he's got wood Grin

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 05/04/2017 16:21

You could always, ya know, not look...

FerdinandsRevenge · 05/04/2017 16:21

Oh won't anyone think of the children and the married men, who can see tits most everywhere

Ecureuil · 05/04/2017 16:21

A woman across the road from me does this too (she sometimes comes out to the front to call to her children) and I'm also near Nottingham, maybe we're neighbours OP!
I was a bit shocked at first but I don't bat an eyelid anymore.

SparkleSunshine201 · 05/04/2017 16:24

I'd find that really shocking and offensive, I think it is respectful to yourself and to others to at least wear a bikini. And in this weather? She sounds bonkers!

Original poster
Belle1102 · 05/04/2017 16:24

She is completely naked now. Bald Vag out and it's only about 10 degrees here now. Maybe she's a nudist so I guess I'll just have to get used to it as can't exactly tell her to stop when it's her own garden. My DP will probably just find it hilarious (although she is drop dead gorgeous so I'm sure he'll be secretly pleased ha!)
I'm sure the family on the other side of her are going to be outraged as they are extremely conservative and I can imagine the mother of the two boys completely kicking off.
Now that I've had the sight of her boobs bobbing past my window for the past few hours I'm feeling a bit less shocked by it all (although now that the vag is out I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable again!) Just not something you see everyday in this country (especially when it's not a hot day!)
If it was a beach in Spain then I wouldn't bat an eyelid. But a mild day in Nottingham in a very overlooked garden? Really?!

OP posts:
floraeasy · 05/04/2017 16:26

Don't understand how she doesn't feel the cold!!!

(A) Maybe she'll get bored of trying to shock.

(B) Or maybe the neighbours will get used to it and it won't have an effect.

You could try putting up a higher fence/trellis while you wait for either (A) or (B) to happen.

OhhBetty · 05/04/2017 16:26

But they're just breasts! I don't understand why it's acceptable (generally) for men to be topless but not women. Women are usually either sexualised or slagged off.

floraeasy · 05/04/2017 16:27

Does she know you're observing her? You seem to be looking at her a lot? Don't give her any attention.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 05/04/2017 16:27

Now you are sounding creepy OP... stop staring at the poor mate and get on with your day. Nothing embarrassing about the naked body

TitaniasCloset · 05/04/2017 16:28

Was she feeling too hot in the thong?
Shock