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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed about topless sunbathing?

281 replies

Belle1102 · 05/04/2017 15:32

Topless sunbathing on holiday can be just about tolerated. I, myself, have done it on occasion if the General vibe of the place seems totally laid back about it.
AIBU to be annoyed about the woman next door to me walking around her garden in nothing but a tiny thong with her huge fake boobs out?! I don't want to be looking at her practically naked body when I'm wanting to go into my garden. Plus my DP will get an eyeful of her too which will make me feel a bit shit. And whose to say that the neighbour's on the other side of her house two little boys won't get an eyeful too.
People can do what they want in their own homes and gardens, but here is nothing but a very low fence separating us and she is only about 1 meter away from my living room window Angry

OP posts:
Edsheeranalbumparty · 07/04/2017 08:46

4) No wonder we have such a problem with vitamin D deficiency in this country, if no one can bare all, even in their own garden for fear of pearl clutchers/ curtain twitchers!

I don't think you need to go topless to get your RDA of.vitamin D do you?!

It is different but this thread reminds me of a holiday to Thailand i went on ages ago. We went on a fulk day.boat trip and there was a woman on there who had obviously had a fairly recent boob job (scars still slightly visible). She spent the entire day topless on the boat, including lunch and stopping to get off to go to a beach. She was obviously just proud of her new boobies and wanted to get her money's worth by showing them off but i was a bit much for the entire day.

Went to Mexico and there was a woman there playing volleyball with all other men, wearing nothing more than a teeny tiny thong. She did have be most amazing body and i was kind of mesmerised, just watching her and thinking about what my saggy boobs and belly would look like if i played volleyball in a thong!

I don't really get the point of topless sunbathing? Who cares if your tits aren't quite as brown as the rest of you?

Booboo27 · 07/04/2017 08:59

We can't really blame the OP for feeling uncomfortable about this situation as unfortunately nudity is seen as kind of a big deal in this country. It's rare you go to the beaches here on a sunny day and see loads of topless sunbathers like you would in spain for example. I grew up in a household where it was shocking to ever see my mum in her underwear and I never once saw my dad with his top off once. Still haven't! It was just a very conservative family. It's a shame people can't be more free spirited in this country but it isn't often the case and a lot of people will feel very shocked and embarrassed by seeing a neighbour naked

silkpyjamasallday · 07/04/2017 09:28

I don't really think you are unreasonable OP, and sorry to say but fake tits out +thong in an overlooked garden screams exhibitionist and although it wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable per say I'd just think it was a bit gross and sad. Also, presumably if you can see her, she can see you so she knows she is being observed, if it was a naked bloke I think MN reaction would be very different. And if I was your neighbour I wouldn't want my young boys fantasising about the wannabe porn star next door quite frankly!

We are a pretty naked household in summer but I wouldn't go naked into our garden as we live in a terrace and could be seen from all angles! People can do what they want in their own homes but being naked in this weather is totally unnecessary, and not motivated by getting a tan or being too hot as it would be on holiday.

Iamastonished · 07/04/2017 13:53

“No wonder we have such a problem with vitamin D deficiency in this country, if no one can bare all”

That is the most original excuse I have heard for stripping off. I don’t think you actually need to bare all to get a good dose of vitamin D.

“We need to stop placing so much sexual emphasis on normal, healthy nudity.
Being naked is constantly conflated with sex, which is not healthy at all.”

I agree, but I don’t think in reality that is ever going to happen. DD is 16 and has friends of both sexes. I don’t think any of the boys would avert their eyes if they saw a naked woman, especially if she is young and attractive. Do you?

LordScuttlebutt · 07/04/2017 13:54

No wonder we have such a problem with vitamin D deficiency in this country, if no one can bare all

Maybe Ms Topless will produce a note from her doctor if the neighbours complain Grin

Natsku · 07/04/2017 14:02

Just remembered, I went out completely naked into an unenclosed garden once in the middle of winter. It was to roll in the snow and it was dark so probably no one saw me. I was hugely pregnant with a fresh appendix scar so wasn't keen on being exhibitionist, I just wanted to cool down!

SteppingOnToes · 07/04/2017 14:25

I went out completely naked into an unenclosed garden once in the middle of winter.

I love doing naked snow angels! I also love going out naked in a thunderstorm :) Only ever in the garden and in the dark

LordScuttlebutt · 07/04/2017 14:28

LOL! You sound fun Grin

Natsku · 07/04/2017 14:53

Naked in the rain is lovely, its like a nice cool shower.

TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 07/04/2017 15:02

I hope she uses sunscreen. I would not fancy burnt nipples ShockGrin

FairytalesAreBullshit · 07/04/2017 15:56

Where's OP gone? Need to know how boobgate is going Grin

HarrietSchulenberg · 07/04/2017 16:04

Equip the other neighbour's boys with airhorns and encourage them to honk everytime they cop an eyeful of "bald vag". It might encourage your resident attention seeker naturist to consider donning some pants and a jumper.

LordScuttlebutt · 07/04/2017 16:13

Naked in the rain is lovely

There was a pop song about dancing naked in the rain years ago.

BabychamSocialist · 07/04/2017 16:15

Meh, I wouldn't like it but it's her garden and her body.

Personally I'm just a prude and would be happy in one of those Burkini things but there you go. Also, I was blessed with my mum's comedy bust, so if I've managed to hoick them into some sort of restraining device, they're bloody well staying there.

Natsku · 07/04/2017 16:42

There was a pop song about dancing naked in the rain years ago

Livin' La Vida Loca

LordScuttlebutt · 07/04/2017 16:52

Ah!

I was thinking of this one. Showing my age Blush

Blue Pearl - Naked in the Rain

Natsku · 07/04/2017 16:54

Can't remember that one, but I was only four...

kaitlinktm · 07/04/2017 17:07

Make a mug of tea, put this apron on and go and have a chat - or get your OP to. Wink Grin

To be annoyed about topless sunbathing?
LordScuttlebutt · 07/04/2017 17:07

[grin[

kaitlinktm · 07/04/2017 17:15

Doh - sorry DP not OP Blush

Happybunny19 · 07/04/2017 17:39

YABU

Stripeymug · 07/04/2017 21:59

Are you in Teddington? If so she is a lap dancer and is trying to tan for work

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 07/04/2017 22:08

Stripey are you OP's neighbour? Shock

I'm not sure your explanation will be that reassuring for OP. Surely you / she could get a fake tan in private and wear a woolie in the garden!

user1491630259 · 08/04/2017 06:58

The OP went into her garden one day
What happened next, she could barely say
She couldn't believe her eyes - was it a mirage?
Nope - there is was - bare breasts, bald vag

Twisting and turning, bending right over
If her DH saw his, his eyes'd be in clover
Frolicking and twirling - exposing her bust
She doubted her DH could contain his lust

What did this nudist think she was doing?
The OP started to think about suing.
When she moved in, she thought Notting a naice 'ham
But this woman for a neighbour? No thank you, ma'am!

deplorabelle · 08/04/2017 07:51

I think she's a Mumsnetter. She suspected the thread was about her so she took her pants off to see if OP would update. Class act.