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AIBU?

No Mother's Day present

190 replies

titianlove · 26/03/2017 12:02

I feel like an eejit but my husband asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day and I batted him off with och don't go to any bother so I got a card and nothing else. I wouldn't dream of doing that to him on Father's Day. I'm just a bit disappointed that I work my arse off full time for the family and this is how appreciated I am. I know ibu but I'm just a bit sad. He's fucked off in a huff because he can see I'm a bit upset.

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Lucyellen81 · 27/03/2017 21:49

No, he should have got you something. 40 weeks of carrying the baby then pushing it out into this crazy world equates to absolute commitment to Mothers on just 1 day of the year. My EX who doesn't really like me all that much still got me perfume, teddy bears, chocolates a comical this Mom runs on love and caffeine mug cards from the kids AND one from him saying thank you etc and he did it so the kids know appreciation of me. Not for hallmark or whatever card shop. He made sure they understand you have to cherish your Mother. Everyone needs special time and wants to feel the love xx

FrizzyMcFrizzface · 27/03/2017 22:43

It's not, it's a Christian celebration of Mother's because of Mary. It's called Mothering Sunday and is an important part of the church calendar. Unlike Father's Day, which is a 'Hallmark' invention.

FrizzyMcFrizzface · 27/03/2017 22:44

Sorry, that was for Titty, the 'reply' didn't work obviously

FrizzyMcFrizzface · 27/03/2017 22:45

Mothers, apostrophe shouldn't have been there. I give up

Mrseft · 27/03/2017 23:14

I'm a bit torn on this one. Men don't read between the lines and I think he just took you literally for your word, however I also agree he wouldn't have really been going to any bother given he was in a shop buying gifts for his own mother.

I made it clear to hubby I expect a card and a small, thoughtful gift from our little one that doesn't have to cost the earth or anything, it could even just be a bar of my favourite chocolate (that I don't buy often) or something she's made, a picture she's painted etc because she is too small to do it herself so requires his help. Once she is old enough to make things by herself with materials provided or is in school then he's off the hook anyway.

Hilariously he's even misunderstood that and I got a card that read "to my wife on mother's day" and not one from my little haha! Bless his soul he's trying! I put the time and the effort into making sure he has a fathers day gift and card from our daughter and I'd be upset if he didn't make the same effort for me. But men just don't think like that.

But seriously, for those saying "You're not his mother" do you really expect a three year old to comprehend mothers day and have the ability to do much about it alone?

TittyGolightly · 27/03/2017 23:20

It's not, it's a Christian celebration of Mother's because of Mary. It's called Mothering Sunday and is an important part of the church calendar. Unlike Father's Day, which is a 'Hallmark' invention

Oh dear.

It's was about mother churches, not human mothers, for a start. How many people do you think still follow that, given the falling number of Christians.

Hallmark has stolen it and filled the gap.

TittyGolightly · 27/03/2017 23:20

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothering_Sunday

user1476641978 · 27/03/2017 23:59

Ignore the bitter ones on here OP. YANBU. Just don't bother with him on Father's Day.

Nerdymum83 · 28/03/2017 00:15

I'd be happy if my husband at least remembered it was mothers day.
My children are too young to know what the day really means yet as they are only 3 and 15 months old. My husband didn't even notice what day it was, even if you remind him he won't mention it. He didn't get anything for me on behalf of the children either. The only person who wished me a happy mothers day was my own mum. And I had to send a present from him to his mum and text her happy mothers day (pretending to be him), before reminding him wish his mum a happy mothers day. I never miss birthdays or Fathers day, but he always forgets about me _;;

newshiny · 28/03/2017 07:42

I'd be frank and say something along the lines of "i didn't think i wanted anything, but when the day came and went, i was disappointed by my decision. I'd appreciate a do-over, could you and the kids please 'surprise' me with some flowers and/or chocolates, and i can enjoy mother's day, a week late?"

It's not his fault for taking you at your word, and it's not your fault for not realising how you'd feel.

And remember next year to remind him to do something nice for you for mother's day.

SoupDragon · 28/03/2017 08:06

A "do over"? Seriously??

Shesaid · 28/03/2017 09:11

Ahh.. the rituals of 21C relationships. I get your grief - it's easy to undervalue mothering. And we are sometimes complicit because we want to be seen as 'equal' in the jobs market and able to mother as a sort of side show. Lots of mixed messages.

I've learnt to perfect the 'oh don't bother' with a look that says, "don't you dare forget, where would you be without your mother'?

My man took more or less the same route as yours, then he noticed the Ladybird Book 'Five Forget Mothers Day" and got the bigger picture : )

My son forgot - for acceptable, crisis reasons - but promised to make up for it. Of course I told him 'not to worry'. But he's played the game many years and said 'I will though'.

Pritchyx · 29/03/2017 02:30

My DD's dad and I aren't together, however every birthday, Xmas, Father's Day I will go out of my way to get a half decent present for him...

This Mother's Day, I got a 29p card, as he left the sticker on the back and "there was flowers but I can't remember what I did with them and I ate the chocolates I bought for you when I was drunk on Friday night" arsehole.

Safe to say, come Father's Day, he's only getting a 29p card and an equally shitty excuse as a gift.

So my Mother's Day was on Monday, I picked up a nice new shiny car, then went to Tesco with DD and then bought £30 worth of flowers for £15 all picked by DD, she's very happy with her choices. We then came home, we made little fairy cakes and watched Disney DVD's until bed time! So I'll take my attempt at Mothers Day over her dads shite attempt

moyesp · 29/03/2017 09:10

I'm doubling with laughter. I did that on my birthday and at Christmas. I said if you carn't buy me what I asked for don't bother. So he didn't. Son actually said "You got a lot to learn about women dad." And promptly brought me the gift.

That was 20 years ago. Been telling him exactly what I want ever since. Men (He says this) are creatures that need to be told. They are not good at guessing.

car5ys · 30/03/2017 00:19

I didn't see either of my kids on Sunday as was working. When I got home dd was at work but on the side were 2 cards and several small gifts not mega bucks but things I really like. I knew my dd had chosen them as she knows what I like. I usually answer (when asked what I'd like for mothers day/birthday/Christmas etc) help around the house, your rooms kept tidy and the odd meal cooked . But that never happens so getting a few little treats is lovely. As for the OH he has absolutely no idea what I like and for the last couple of years hasn't even bothered with a card let alone a gift on my birthday selfish tit

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