To think that this is nosey from dh's ex wife.

[AmazingJane67]

We have saved to take the dc to Florida this year dd17, ds16, ds7, dd5, ds3 and dss16 dd15.

I am a stay at home mum because of dd5 and ds3. This means dh is paying for the whole holiday. Dh ex has agreed to the holiday (its 4 weeks so most of summer break.) We asked her to pay half the cost for her dc as last year dh paid the whole cost of the holiday for her to go away with them. This was told to her when dh gave her the money for the holiday. It works out less then the cost of the holiday and she has had a year to save. She is now refusing to pay dh and has said that I should pay half and that I am not contributing to the cost of the holiday.

I must make a note dh and ex take in turns to take dc away every year so dh one year, ex the next.

Aibu to think she should mind her own business about finances and me.

His biological children are getting a better deal because they get a lavish holiday every year, and they also have two parents.

Op has said there are inequalities and it sounds to me like his kids and ex wife get what they want when they want it - now she's not getting her free hols she's kicking off.

Sorry, but all I can think of is this:

Arghh cross post!!! RIP OP first husband.

Ooops x-post

Just do things separately from now on and let the other person do their own thing to with whatever budget they have.

This is easy.

Pay for the entire trip this year.

Ask for the money back for half the holiday to Dubai as it was clearly a loan because, as you said, she didn't have cash because of a purchase or whatever that was happening.

Then sort your own holidays out.

She is being a bitch saying you have to make a financial contribution, just because they keep money seperate doesn't mean you should. She knows you aren't working and then it is a massive dig.

I would get you DH to replay that of course you were contributing as all money is family money and therefore equally yours. Then make it seem like the idea of not contributing to each other's holidays is her idea and you both think it's great and starting this year each will be wholly responsible for the cost of the holiday. Do not mention Dubai.

I think she will back track, she has been having amazing holidays on your DH's dime, I don't think she will give them up.

In answer to your original question, no YANBU that she should mind her own business.
But as others have said, all you can do now is

1. Ask her to return the Dubai loan or
2. Draw a line under this, pay for your dP's DC and cancel the previous alternate year arrangement.

If you've no min u because you're a sahm how are you paying anything from savings.

Rip your first husband. Condolences.

How do you know how much money the multimillionaire who isn't rich has in the bank?

What kind of a holiday does he go on that's he only pays half a thousand towards?

Why didn't you take your step children last year to the lake district

How come your DH couldn't afford any better for you and yours than the Lake District but he paid out for Dubai for the ex?

Even if you are not Angeline, Katie or Madge this is a pretty identifying thread. How many people are out there with such an extremely unusual set of circumstances?

In future each family crises, books and pays for own holidays. Simples.

Btw is your own husband a rich multimillionaire? He seems to have plenty of spare cash?

£500 wouldn't even take a multimillionaire and his wife out for a meal never mind a holiday.

The title of the thread is quite ironic seeing as you seem to know a fair bit about the ex's dh's finances.

You should have made sure there was room in the holiday cottage in the Lake District for all your DH kids plus your own kids.

OP you are not BU. Dp exw is being a greedy cow. If she didnt want to pay her share of this years holiday for the children, she should have said last year and declined the payment from your dp. However, seeing as MN is comprised of a lot of exW dont expect much sympathy as some will bend over backwards trying to justify why the exwife is a grabby shit. There probably isnt a lot you can do other than remember this for future reference, i.e. the children's next years holiday with the mum, refuse to pay a single penny.

£500 wouldn't even take a multimillionaire and his wife out for a meal never mind a holiday

Nah - a multimillionaire who acts like that doesn't stay a multimillionaire for long...

i want to know where the multimillionaire is going on holiday with his wife and 4 kids (one his, one joint, 2 hers) for £500

This thread has made me laugh. OP I think you need a bit of perspective and are slightly over-invested (literally) in your DH's exW life (who by all accounts is married to scrooge, so - you win, be happy).

Then raise a glass of champagne in the sunshine on your lovely holiday and say a big fat fuck you next time she expects him to pay for anything outside of what he is obligated. Or, just take all the kids with you on all your holidays if she and the 'multi-millionaire' can't 'afford' to take them on theirs! Problem solved.

Now onto more pressing things, like how the fuckity fuck I am going to feed my children and keep a roof over out heads this month on minimum wage...

One of the strangest drip feed threads I've read on MN..... really enjoying my popcorn......

He is paying for my children half and then I'm using money I have saved.

Compared to the opening post This means dh is paying for the whole holiday.

Why did you join Mumsnet to post this, op?

Why did you join Mumsnet to post this, op?

Quite likely a name change, surely? Or are you troll hunting?

Annesmyth, actual true millionaires rarely spend the way you expect. You don't get rich by spending it.

No, I'm asking a question

She didn't stick to the agreement - she is a plonker. I would say from now on each pays for their own holiday. My partner and I pay anything outside child maintenance directly to where the money goes (eg school trip money goes directly to the school). Partners ex recently stuck her nose in again with something to do with the school saying "she could let the school know for us and she would pay it and then we could pay her back". Er - no thanks we can organise it and pay for it ourselves. I wouldn't mind so much but this is a woman who has accused my partner of domestic violence and called social services on him (after sending chocolates and a card for Christmas amongst other things). She is totally psychotic and attention seeking. Honestly, do not get me wrong there are some decent ex wives out there who are nice people and I am sure can get along well with new girlfriends and wives etc, but some you really need to manage. Your DH ex sounds like one of them.
It is none of her business who is paying for your particular portion of the trip and what you contribute. Keep your distance and from now on anything like holidays each of you pay your own. If she cannot afford to go with your husbands help that is her problem. If he hadn't paid for last year he would have been able to save a little more for this year. The less contact the better Any extras pay for yourself without having to reimburse or you scratch my back I scratch yours type thing.