to let DD go topless in the swimming pool

[Morphene]

Going swimming on Sunday and I suspect DD will want to wear just the shorts of her shorts and top swimming outfit....she asked to take the top off last time we went swimming but we were in a place with slides so I could justify keeping it on. This week there won't be slides so I've got to decide what to do.

DD is 5 yo so absolutely no reason she shouldn't go topless (not that there is ever really a sound reason women shouldn't go topless if they want to), and I don't want to send any body shame ideas her way. I am worried that someone else will tell her she should wear a top though. Either a lifeguard or an interfering busy body, and it will be worse coming from them than me.

So should I bury my morals and tell her to wear the top / make some excuse up etc. or let her go without and run the risk someone else body shames her more transparently than I will?

Do you think anyone will say anything?

She has long hair so people will likely pick her as a girl.

I'm up for that bottle of wine! STFU!! (You have a better memory than I do!)

You're the only person to have ever PM'd me!

I've never personally seen a little girl in just swim shorts at the pool. Yes, it's technically possible I could have seen many short haired little girls I mistook for boys but I don't think I have.

That's your own view showing.

I have a 7 year old girl with short hair. She is challenged nearly every week at the pool by ignorant parents, and children. Why is he wearing a girls costume? Has he forgotten his trunks? Is that his sisters?

This has been going on since she stopped wearing toddler swim pants at 2.5. In just pants no one batted an eyelid and just assumed boy.

There is absolutely no way to tell whether a child is male or female except by external cues. If you see a girl with short hair in trunks it will absolutely not occur to you to think that child is female.

I have a six year old long haired boy. I've just been on holiday and a few people assumed he was a girl, but no one told him he should have a top on.
They'd have had to tell me too though, to be fair

I think the best bet is to (as I do with my boys) give her a warning that some people are a bit silly and might say something, but they are in the wrong.

Thank you Italiangreyhound (12:27:27)!

I often see naked toddlers at the beach but usually they have swim nappies on. I've also seen lots of girls wearing just what looks like the bottom part of a bikini - so the equivalent of Speedos.

Men can go topless in our culture, it's cultural

Yes and I sincerely wish they would not. It is not nice when someone gets on a train without a top on on a hot summer's say. They smell like meat. It's foul.

And if you work outside you should have a top on to avoid getting sunburnt.

A 5 year old girl does not need to wear a top. I remember being 10 and not wearing a top, but most girls grow up a bit faster these days so 8 is probably a good guide.

remoaniac, ugh you just made me gag ("smell like meat").

I can't believe anyone is worrying about whether a 5 year old ought to wear a top.

Of course she doesn't need to. Anyone who thinks it necessary is IMO ridiculously prudish.

Good grief we got all the way to pedophiles. Brilliant.

Of course she does not need a top, she is 5 with nothing to show. Sexist crap!

Yes and some men really do need a top, they have moobs bigger than mine!

This is one of the strangest threads I've ever read on MN. Honestly, I wouldn't think twice about letting a 5 year old go topless. I very much doubt anyone at the swimming pool would thing anything if it, let alone make a remark. And to the poster who thinks that part of raising a child is to help them fit in - and that means making a 5 year old girl wear a top - what a very sad state of affairs.

The water was really cold so DD didn't want to take anything off at all....

Is he Morphine that is a classic ending to a classic tale!

Well I would love to have returned triumphant having freed the nipple, but it just didn't happen....on the flip side no eyebrows were stressed either :)