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AIBU?

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Original poster

Judge's warning to drunk women

985 replies

FirstShinyRobe · 10/03/2017 21:47

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-39233617

AIBU to think she had a marvellous platform with her retirement speech to issue instead a warning to men not to rape women?

OP posts:
ThymeLord · 10/03/2017 21:51

It just doesn't stop does it. Unbelievable.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 10/03/2017 21:52

Just read this on bbc news & thought ffs Hmm

ThymeLord · 10/03/2017 21:56

Give it a little while and other women will be along to tell us it's just sensible advice, and to compare rape to the theft of a laptop. I despair, I really do.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 10/03/2017 22:01

I sincerely hope not Thyme

ThymeLord · 10/03/2017 22:04

That's how it usually goes, unfortunately.

It's 2017 and women are still being held accountable for men raping them. It should have people boiling with anger!

Kahlua4me · 10/03/2017 22:05

I was raped when drunk and at a party.

Whilst it is indeed his fault, part of me does believe that it may not have happened if I wasn't so drunk....

She did have the perfect platform to talk about how men should behave but I can understand her point.

alltogethernow123 · 10/03/2017 22:05

I can't read the link but I do always warn my daughter to be careful on nights out...watch her drink etc and not to get legless drunk. Is this wrong?

I can't control men but I can try my best to protect my daughter.

alltogethernow123 · 10/03/2017 22:11

Just read the article. I've drunk myself into the ground before and if someone had tried to rape me I wouldn't have been able to put up any fight. A sober me could probably try my best.
I don't think this judge is blaming women - merely advising them to be careful. Nothing wrong with that.

Stripeymug · 10/03/2017 22:11

I totally get what she is saying and it's bang, on sound advice.

I and many of my friends have put ourselves in terrible situations after drinking too much.

ThymeLord · 10/03/2017 22:14

And as if by magic.

Crispbutty · 10/03/2017 22:16

No point anyone bothering to post unless you agree with the op is there.. what a balanced debate. Hmm

AreYouNice · 10/03/2017 22:16

I tell my daughter (and my sons) not to drink to much as they are far more likely to be attacked/robbed/taken advantage of etc etc if they are drunk.

Seems like sensible advice to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

The judge worded her statement very carefully. She was trying her hardest not to cause offence.

AreYouNice · 10/03/2017 22:17

Too not to

ThymeLord · 10/03/2017 22:17

I'm not sure what debate there is to be had? You either think women are in some way responsible for their own rape, or you don't.

ghostyslovesheets · 10/03/2017 22:18

it doesn't matter what 'terrible situations' you get into if drunk - it takes a whole separate person to commit a CRIME against you

Aeroflotgirl · 10/03/2017 22:18

I think anyone (male or female), should not get so inebriated, that they are lying drunk in some gutter, totally out of it. Take some responsibility for yourselves.

TheStoic · 10/03/2017 22:18

Good luck to you if you think being sober prevents rape.

You're in for a rude shock somewhere down the line.

AreYouNice · 10/03/2017 22:19

Thyme. Do you think I'm wrong to tell my DC that they should be careful not to drink too much in case they get attacked or whatever?

GladAllOver · 10/03/2017 22:20

Women and men are both more likely to be innocent victims of crime if they are drunk. It's undeniable.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/03/2017 22:21

Areyounice, your not wrong at all, spot on.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 10/03/2017 22:21

In the words of Thordis Elva: The only thing that could've stopped me being raped that night was the man who raped me - had he stopped himself.

Crispbutty · 10/03/2017 22:21

But I do think what she said is correct. When you are very drunk you are leaving yourself vulnerable to be attacked. And I do not see how anyone can say that is not true.

Men who are looking for a woman to rape ARE more likely to prey on a woman who is going to be less able to fight back.

It isn't blaming a victim, it is common sense.

OhTheRoses · 10/03/2017 22:21

Old adage. You can't control the behaviour of others. You can only control your own behaviour. Nothing will ever make crime right but there is nothing wrong with advising those who are vulnerable how to maximise their defence against crime.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 10/03/2017 22:22

I thought the same thing, and of course nobody should victim blame, but it appears she was trying to get across the advice that drunk people are more vulnerable to attacks from opportunistic attackers, rather than saying drunk women bring rapes upon themselves by being drunk, which would obviously be grossly offensive. I don't think there's a good way to say it tbh, it will always sound like you're putting some blame on anyone but the rapist.

PoorYorick · 10/03/2017 22:23

Whilst it is indeed his fault, part of me does believe that it may not have happened if I wasn't so drunk....

Yes, well it also wouldn't have happened if you spent your entire life locked in a convent, if you had never been born or if you were a chicken. It's not your responsibility to live a half life dictated by what other people might do to you. It is absolutely 100% your rapist's fault. It is not yours, not one iota, not a jot.

Hugs to you. I hope you have the help and support you need to recover, and that you learn never, ever, ever to blame yourself one tiny bit for the actions of that criminal.

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