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AIBU?

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Original poster

Judge's warning to drunk women

985 replies

FirstShinyRobe · 10/03/2017 21:47

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-39233617

AIBU to think she had a marvellous platform with her retirement speech to issue instead a warning to men not to rape women?

OP posts:
AreYouNice · 10/03/2017 22:35

ThymeLord

We are in total agreement that the only thing that causes rape is rapists.

However, I still wouldn't be comfortable knowing my DC (boys and girls) went out and got totally legless. I would feel they would be more at risk of coming to harm. Are you really saying that you would not mind if your DC went out and got really drunk?

Dontactlikeyouknowme · 10/03/2017 22:36

So women should stay sober and alert at all times just in case a rapist is around?

Fuck that noise.

GladAllOver · 10/03/2017 22:36

So you think if a woman gets drunk she deserves to get raped because she didnt stick to orange juice all night in case she encontered a rapist.
You know damn well that no one has said that or anything like that.

Original poster
FirstShinyRobe · 10/03/2017 22:36

My point was about not calling out the behaviour of rapists when she had a chance to do so.

This happens time and time again. Yes, the individual gets locked away, but the take home message pronounced from the dock is about women's behaviour.

Spotlight on the behaviour of the men, please.

OP posts:
alltogethernow123 · 10/03/2017 22:38

My son has been brought up to treat women with respect but I can't control ALL other men so until such times as I can, I always advise my daughter to stay alert and safe.

You're not alert when you're blind drunk.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 10/03/2017 22:38

So basically a man can get shit faced and rape a woman - but it's not his fault if the woman was drunk. Go on guys, drink as much as you want! Women, watch those units - you might get raped. Also be careful about what you wear /say/look like. You're asking for it. I cannot believe there are women on here defending this shit.

Deadsouls · 10/03/2017 22:39

Rapists cause rape. Not alcohol, or short skirts, or flirting. Just rapists. If you don't meet one of those then you won't be raped. Drunk or sober.

Yes exactly rapists cause rape. But giving advice to ones own children to not get so drunk that you can't walk, or don't leave your drink unattended is not saying that rapists aren't responsible for rape. It's saying don't drink to the extent that you make yourself vulnerable, or make yourself ill or you can't get home for example.

Dontactlikeyouknowme · 10/03/2017 22:39

No wonder many women don't report rape.

alltogethernow123 · 10/03/2017 22:40

itshould

Confused what's the point in even carrying on a discussion when the replies are as inane as yours?

Of course no ones saying that and I'm incredulous that you'd even think that.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/03/2017 22:40

Both men and women should be careful with their drink, for various reasons.

QueenOfTheCatBastards · 10/03/2017 22:41

Victim blaming, while dressed up as concern.

It's 2017. This absolute shit needs to stop.

Women should be able to get as wasted as they like. There shouldn't be any onus on them to moderate their behaviour in case a man decides to rape them.

The onus is on men to stop being rapists! Why isn't that the crux of speeches and media campaigns? Because men are beyond reproach and can't possibly be expected tondonthe right thing it would seem. Everyday sexism thrown in for good measure.

Aeroflotgirl · 10/03/2017 22:41

Isent it common sense people should not get so drunk, that they cannot look after themselves and are open to alcohol poisoning!

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 10/03/2017 22:41

So rape never happens to sober women? Men need to take responsibility for their own actions!

AreYouNice · 10/03/2017 22:42

DontActLike
So you think if a woman gets drunk she deserves to get raped because she didnt stick to orange juice all night in case she encontered a rapist

. You are saying things that are not true. No one has said anything like that on this thread. No one has said anything other than it ALWAYS the rapists fault.

Dontactlikeyouknowme · 10/03/2017 22:42

So if you got drunk and were raped would you think it was your fault because you didn't take that judgrs advice?

SamanthaUnkim · 10/03/2017 22:42

Funny isn't it. The same people, who are happy for there to be fifty different genders, still want to label all men rapists.

TheStoic · 10/03/2017 22:42

Few rapes are the 'stranger in the bushes' kind.

Most are committed by a man known to the woman.

If you think a woman being drunk increased the likelihood of her being raped by that man she knew, you are genuinely stupid.

Crispbutty · 10/03/2017 22:42

Nobody at all is saying it is a woman's fault. Nobody is saying that at all and everyone knows that, and throwing insults at other women because they choose to agree with what the judge has said is bloody rude.

CallingGloria · 10/03/2017 22:43

ThymeLord Well, whilst you are out telling every man not to rape the rest of us will try to keep ourselves safe Smile

user1487175389 · 10/03/2017 22:43

It's bollocks. I was sexually assaulted at work, stone cold sober in the middle of the day. He was an opportunist who seized upon a moment when there was no-one else around. Clearly the answer is for me, and other women to never be alone. Yes,, that'll work. Except, oh no, it won't because a decade later I was assaulted by another man at a family gathering, in front of his aunt, uncle, cousin and our toddler. So, if I didn't exist, that would stop men assaulting me. Is that the answer?

Deadsouls · 10/03/2017 22:43

firstshinyrobe
i take your point about the judge not using the platform of her very last speech to focus on the behaviour of men who rape, something about how boys grow up into men who rape. And rather focusing on the behaviour of women. So women have the onus of responsibility. Saying that I don't think that invalidates her advice/warning etc as it's still a good idea not to get inebriated for all sorts of reasons.

PacificDogwod · 10/03/2017 22:44

My point was about not calling out the behaviour of rapists when she had a chance to do so.

Yes. Absolutely.

Alcohol may make a woman more vulnerable to attack, but the point that needs making is that alcohol also makes a man more likely to attack. So the 'drink less' advice should quite forcefully be made towards men.
Oh, and the 'don't rape' advice... FFS.

Oswin · 10/03/2017 22:45

What I find odd is there is often a crossover between people who drone on that women need to take responsibility for themselves and the people who scream not all men when feminists talk about violence.

Funny that isn't it.

AreYouNice · 10/03/2017 22:46

TheStoic
If you think a woman being drunk increased the likelihood of her being raped by that man she knew, you are genuinely stupid

Are you reading the same thread as everyone else? . NO ONE has said or inferred that so I'm not sure who you think is 'genuinely stupid'

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 10/03/2017 22:46

Exactly, altogether - what's the point in carrying on a discussion when 'inane' responses such as mine are deemed worthless because I happen to think MEN SHOULDN'T BE RAPING WOMEN IN THE FIRST PLACE. Leaving thread now, it's making me furious. Victim blaming at its very worst.