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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 19 is a bit too old to START ballet and gymnastics?

136 replies

Stedloop · 04/03/2017 17:50

DD is 19.

Has never done ballet or gymnastics in her whole life so a complete, complete beginner.

She says she would like to become good at it.

This is my worry.

Fine I think for fun, but she does go on about trying hard to become good at it.

She is at uni (local) so I know it's not some weird change of career idea. However, AIBU to think it is a bit too old to have an ambition of becoming good at it?

I have no issue if just for fun.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 04/03/2017 17:55

Why over think it? Sounds like fun and I'm fairly sure she will work it out pretty quickly that a professional career could be a little ambitious. Does she have any dancing or sporting background? Really good exercise anyway.

MatildaTheCat · 04/03/2017 17:56

Sorry, I misread Blush. She doesn't want a career just to be good? Sounds perfectly possible if she has aptitude.

DoomGloomAndKaboom · 04/03/2017 17:59

I think it's too old if she's hoping for a career as a prima ballerina, or aiming for Olympic medals, but she still might be wanting to be good without thinking of her future. Nothing wrong with wanting to be good at your hobby/sport etc.

Also she could go on to train as a teacher/support staff.

CharlieDimmocksbosoms · 04/03/2017 17:59

She's 19. I would let her crack on. Lots of people start dancing later. It's only ballet lessons. She doesn't say she wants to be a professional dancer. It will be very hard work but it doesn't mean she won't enjoy it.

TheRealPooTroll · 04/03/2017 17:59

I'm sure if she kept it up she would become reasonably good at it. Just because she won't be competing in Olympics it doesn't mean she can't keep fit and develop skills.

duchess22 · 04/03/2017 18:00

It would probably be good for fun however generally you have to tart at a young age to be able to be flexible enough to get really good at this (so my dancer/gymnast extraordinaire friend says, have heard his a lot from dance teachers also) there's something about your bones not being properly fused when you're younger and as you enter puberty if you haven't ent already trained your body to do it it's harder to start, dancers have a lot of problems with their bones because of this (again general consensus in the dance world) also has she considered that to start at a beginners class she will most likely be with a lot of very little girls, would she be comfortable to be the eldest by far in these classes? sorry for the ramble just some things she might want to consider before she tries and potentially breaks a leg!! Grin

tinydancer88 · 04/03/2017 18:01

Depends what she means by 'good'.

Triple Olympic gold medallist? Probably.

To progress, improve and develop a level of competency and skill? Definitely not.

I don't think anyone should be put off trying a new sport/exercise/hobby because they think they might be too old/too fat/too short/not good enough/not quick enough whatever. You miss out on a lot of fun, new friends, great health benefits and a sense of pride and satisfaction that way.

Starman16 · 04/03/2017 18:01

I'm 31 and had my first ballet class this week. So yes YABU Grin

yorkshapudding · 04/03/2017 18:01

I don't see a problem to be honest. She isn't deluding herself that she's going to make a career out of it but she's obviously excited by her new hobbies and keen to improve. Nothing wrong with that.

Creatureofthenight · 04/03/2017 18:02

There's nothing wrong with wanting to do your best and improve at something.

Original poster
Stedloop · 04/03/2017 18:03

She says she will go to the adults beginners class.

So I suppose there must be adults.

However, I don't know...

I just think 'I'd like to become good at it' is a bit too ambitious.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 04/03/2017 18:03

Don't see the problem.

TheRealPooTroll · 04/03/2017 18:04

Surely no-ones going hoping they'll be rubbish at it?

PerpetualStudent · 04/03/2017 18:05

I did ballet for the 1st time with my uni dance soc when I was 20/21.
I wasn't good but I just went weekly to keep fit, have fun & improve my flexibility. If I'd got more involved and done extra classes/shows I could easily have got up to a decent standard - yes there's the bones thing, but I think muscle strength and flexibility counts for a lot too.

ScarlettFreestone · 04/03/2017 18:05

She's 19yo old. She's an adult.

If she wants to try a new sport/interest that's a good thing.

As long as she's paying for it herself I can't see it has anything to do with you.

She'll find out in her own whether she has any talent or not.

GhettoFabulous · 04/03/2017 18:05

I took up ballet last year at 47. I'd like to be good at it too, and iI'm noticeably getting better.

Helbelle75 · 04/03/2017 18:06

I still do ballet now at 41 (and 8 months pregnant!) and love it. It keeps me fit and flexible and is a lovely way to exercise. There's a lot of adult classes around now.
I'm sure she'll love it!

Foldedtshirt · 04/03/2017 18:06

Why wouldn't you encourage her? Is she exceptionally emotionally fragile? It's sad you're not more encouraging.

Moanyoldcow · 04/03/2017 18:07

I think you're being a bit mean. If she isn't hoping to join The ENB or the Olympic gymnastics team let her crack on.

Moanyoldcow · 04/03/2017 18:09

I'll never understand parents like this - surely we should be encouraging our children to challenge themselves and strive for success even when unlikely - it builds character and resilience.

Original poster
Stedloop · 04/03/2017 18:09

I'll be paying half!!

I pay for DS's music lessons while he is at uni (year 3) and said I'd do the same for her. so I'll pay half of each.

So it does have something to do with me.

OP posts:
akkakk · 04/03/2017 18:09

I started ice skating age 22-23 and took it up to Prelim in figure and up to silver / gold in dance - very possible if you put the time in - ultimately it is about two things - physical capability and time - as a child it is easier to find the time - but at 19, very possible if the drive is there...

babybythesea · 04/03/2017 18:13

DD is 8 but her ballet teacher also runs classes for adults.
There are quite a few adults in the class. They are there to have fun, to try something new, to keep fit, and to have a good social time. There are often photos of them in 'interesting' outfits for the classes, and in the pub (but not in the outrageous tutus!!)
And she's not the only dance teacher in the area that does adult classes. And we're in a rural area, so it must be really in demand.

I'd say let her do it. Why wouldn't you? Meet new people, have fun, keep fit, have a chance to get quite good at something... what's not to like?

megletthesecond · 04/03/2017 18:16

There's plenty of time for her to pick it up. I go to the occasional ballet fitness class and I'm 42. It's so good for posture.

Let her have a go.

duchess22 · 04/03/2017 18:16

I never even knew they did adult begginers classes!! Shock I think I might have to give something new a go now... if I mange to get my wobbly bits into those leotards Grin

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