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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 19 is a bit too old to START ballet and gymnastics?

136 replies

Stedloop · 04/03/2017 17:50

DD is 19.

Has never done ballet or gymnastics in her whole life so a complete, complete beginner.

She says she would like to become good at it.

This is my worry.

Fine I think for fun, but she does go on about trying hard to become good at it.

She is at uni (local) so I know it's not some weird change of career idea. However, AIBU to think it is a bit too old to have an ambition of becoming good at it?

I have no issue if just for fun.

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 04/03/2017 18:45

Part of the point of going to uni is all the opportunities to start new hobbies though subsidised clubs and socs and varsity teams.

I know people who continued sports they started through clubs and socs in uni, and I know a few who make a living from it!

Also, one of the most saught after (booked up) yoga teachers in my area didn't START learning yoga herself until her late 50s!

YABU. The rest of the world tells you you can't, your mum is supposed to cheer lead for you!

BretonRose · 04/03/2017 18:48

Misty Copeland started ballet at 13, was an award winning dancer by 15. You don't have to start at 2 to achieve any kind of prowess.

HilairHilair · 04/03/2017 18:49

YABU

19 is not too old. These are wonderful sports to learn. Let her get on with it.

You're over-involved, actually. Just let her enjoy it.

lovetonamechange · 04/03/2017 18:55

I know a professional ice skater (shows) who started skating in their late teens. You never know!

Goodythreeshoes · 04/03/2017 18:57

She wants to start an adults beginners class.
She's an adult beginner.
I can't think of a better place to start!
You go girl!

maggiecate · 04/03/2017 18:59

She's be very unlikely able to reach professional standard, but good amateur? Compete a local adult level or take part in shows? Why not!
People start new activities all the time. She'll improve her muscle tone, flexibility, core strength and posture just by taking part. There will be lots of students in exactly the same position, who might not have had the chance/inclination to do something in childhood but who fancy a shot at it now and want to do it to the best of their ability.
Most sports and arts require you to start early if you want to make a career of it, but you can become 'good' at any time.

maggiecate · 04/03/2017 19:01

And the governing body of gymnastics in the UK thinks there is interest:
www.british-gymnastics.org/discover/adult-gymnastics

yorkshapudding · 04/03/2017 19:02

Not the same thing but a good friend of mine took up yoga in her mid 20's and is now a qualified yoga teacher in her early 30's. Having seen one of her classes you'd be amazed at her strength and flexibility considering she had never been into sport, dance or anything like that in her youth.

NerrSnerr · 04/03/2017 19:02

I can't see any negatives in her starting dancing and gymnastics at age 19. What's the worse that'll happen?

Costacoffeeplease · 04/03/2017 19:02

Are you always this positive and encouraging? Hmm

IamFriedSpam · 04/03/2017 19:03

As long as she's not thinking of dropping out of uni to become a professional gymnast having never done it before I say good for her. Uni is often the place people start a lifelong hobbie. I know friends that took up rowing/hockey/rugby/art etc. and still keep it up and some I would consider pretty good (not give up your day job good but impressive to someone like me). Good for her - doesn't sound like she's exactly risking anything so don't see the problem.

Astoria7974 · 04/03/2017 19:07

Adult ballet is more about fitness really - but that's not a bad thing. You seem a bit upperhanded from your posts - not everything your daughter does is about her career prospects. But as an investment banking recruiter, let me tell you I'd definitely give a 2nd look at an intern/grad with ballet as an interest - physical interests always look good on CVs because they show that candidates likely have appropriate health-enhancing stress coping strategies.

maggiecate · 04/03/2017 19:09

Eric Underwood - Royal Ballet Soloist (and well fit BTW) - took his first class at 14, got a scholarship to the School of American Ballet the following year. www.theguardian.com/fashion/2016/oct/22/eric-underwood-royal-ballet-told-youre-black-wear-black-ballet-shoes

19 is probably two late if she wanted to join one of the professional classical companies - they normally feed from the dance schools - BUT modern/contemporary dancers come from all sorts of backgrounds and training.

TheNewSchmoo · 04/03/2017 19:13

Way to stifle her enthusiasm. Poor lass.

MumW · 04/03/2017 19:14

Why ever not, part of going to uni is trying out different things and expanding horizons. So much better than clubbing into the early hours every night, which is what most students seem to do these days. You should be encouraging her to spread her wings.

MiaowTheCat · 04/03/2017 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lyricaldancer · 04/03/2017 19:19

She says she would like to become good at it.

I'm sure she knows she's not likely to join a ballet company as a prima ballerina or be selected for the GB gymnastics squad. Misty Copeland was considered 'older' at 13, and Sylvie Guillem at 11.

No harm in wanting to be good. Adult ballet and gymnastics is quite popular, and you can become more than proficient.

What sort of classes is she planning to join? They will be adult class more than likely, she wouldn't be joining in with the children's classes (adding disclaimer about some ballet grade classes older people have joined in on).
I don't think you have anything to worry about, OP, unless there's something else.

Astoria7974 · 04/03/2017 19:20

Its different for men, maggie. Girls have to go plie or go home - 13 is the age when they'll know if they have a chance to go pro or need to take it less seriously.

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 04/03/2017 19:21

Loads of adult beginner dance classes in my area, I've tried a few and they've always been great fun. Don't stop her, it's a nice thing for her to focus on. There are far too many adults who only have work as their main focus in life and it's very sad. It's nice to have a hobby and to look for new passions. Encourage her!

Serin · 04/03/2017 19:22

My DD is 19 and at Uni, she is also starting beginners ballet, Smile wonder if it's the same one?

I was delighted for her, can't understand why you wouldn't be?

You don't have to be the absolute best at something to enjoy it.

JennyHolzersGhost · 04/03/2017 19:22

Someone posted a very similar thread a while back about their daughter taking up some other activity (not ballet) - was that also you OP? The extremely discouraging tone was very similar. I can only hope your daughter hasn't internalised your attitudes.

lyricaldancer · 04/03/2017 19:23

71 year old showing that you really are never too old to start ballet. Her parents couldn't afford classes when she was a child, so she's fulfilling a life long ambition. She got a good mark too.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/14/britains-oldest-ballerina-71-passes-her-grade-6-exam/

lyricaldancer · 04/03/2017 19:26

Astoria - Misty Copeland was 13.

maydayingillead · 04/03/2017 19:32

Zelda Fitzgerald started ballet in her twenties and I think was on the verge of professional level (then had a nervous breakdown but that probably had more to do with being married to an abusive alcoholic then the ballet) so it is possible although highly unlikely to reach professional level. It's very possible to become "good" at it on the other hand.

wannabestressfree · 04/03/2017 19:32

My mum was a 'piss on your chips- eye roll' type. I thank her for my lack of self confidence.

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