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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Huge, massive row with Dsis and her arsehole husband...

275 replies

Flypaperforarseholes · 02/03/2017 23:16

Popped round to see my Dsis and niece this evening. We were having a nice evening, myself and dsis shared a bottle of wine while I trimmed my nieces hair. Niece was chatty and happy. I finished the trim just before Dsis' husband arrived home. Niece immediately fell quiet and rushed out to the utility room to get the hoover to clean up the hair. BIL came into the kitchen where we were just as niece came through with the hoover. BIL didn't greet any of us, looked at the hair on the floor and started shouting about "all this fucking mess!" The house is spotless, just a handful of trimmed hair on the floor. I said "sorry, my fault, pass the hoover Niece". BIL said "it's her hair, she'll clean it up." Then shouted at niece "Move it, you messy fat bitch!"Angry

I was, still am, fucking incensed. How dare he speak to her like that?! She's a lovely, kind, funny, beautiful girl.
He stepped towards my niece and as he is a big bloke (6' 3"), I felt it was physically intimidating. I stepped between them and told him to step back and asked him.who the fuck he thought he was to talk to her like that. He told me to fuck off, I'm her father, this is my house, I pay the fucking bills...Dsis told my niece to go to her room, which she did, crying.
All the while BIL is shouting about me sticking my nose in where it's not wanted, calling me a stupid bitch. He then told Dsis to get me out of 'his" house or he would "throw it (me) through the window".
I was raging and told him he could give it a try but he'd get more than he bargained for if he tried. Dsis told me to get out of the house. I know she may not have had a lot of options but it still fucking hurt.
I left, BIL and myself still shouting at each other.
Now I am worried about my Dsis and niece. I have never particularly liked my BIL but have never seen this side of him before (although I don't see him often) and my Dsis and niece have never mentioned anything like this and seem generally happy. I sentered my Dsis a text on my way home asking if she's ok, she didn't reply. I called her and she didn't answer. Called niece but her mobile is going to answering machine. AIBU to go back round there to check they're ok?

OP posts:
Squirmy65ghyg · 02/03/2017 23:20

YANBU but be very careful.

Foxysoxy01 · 02/03/2017 23:21

Phone the police!

BeaderBird · 02/03/2017 23:21

Horrific. I remember being called much the same as a child many times over and it still hurts now.

I'd be calling SS. That's abuse.

tillytown · 02/03/2017 23:21

If you do go, can you ask someone to go with you?

scottishdiem · 02/03/2017 23:23

Report the abuse to social services. You have to. No child should react like that. No child should fear their dad like that.

welcometowonderland · 02/03/2017 23:24

Bloody hell! I'd be calling the police!

Flypaperforarseholes · 02/03/2017 23:24

No one answering phones, am going back round there.

OP posts:
InflagranteDelicto · 02/03/2017 23:25

Be careful.

Originalfoogirl · 02/03/2017 23:25

He threatened you, why on earth haven't you called the police?

LoupGarou · 02/03/2017 23:27

Flowers I have similar memories from childhood. Be careful, please call the police and think of your own safety. You will not be able to help anyone else if you get hurt.

WorraLiberty · 02/03/2017 23:28

This happened this evening and you're going around there now at nearly 11.30 at night?

Just phone the police like you should have done hours ago.

PicardsCombOver · 02/03/2017 23:28

Tell someone in RL where you are going and ring the police ffs he threatened you.

Rainbowqueeen · 02/03/2017 23:28

Good luck Fly, can you take someone with you.

Keep your phone handy to call for help if you need to.

Thinking of you

honeysucklejasmine · 02/03/2017 23:28

Bloody hell.

ArmySal · 02/03/2017 23:29

Oh my God!

doubleshotespresso · 02/03/2017 23:30

Go back and call the police. Look after yourself OP.

Foxysoxy01 · 02/03/2017 23:31

Phone the police before you go back round fgs!

CalmItKermitt · 02/03/2017 23:32

Call the police!!

wantoscreamatwashingpile · 02/03/2017 23:32

Please phone the police and don't go round alone!

princessconsuelabananahammock1 · 02/03/2017 23:34

How dare he? Would have phoned the police! I know it sounds like he didn't give you much choice but I wouldn't have left my niece alone with him! Fcuking bully!!!

justbeinreal · 02/03/2017 23:36

Omg call the police! You mean well but could honestly put them in more danger by turning up. He will obviously be fuming!

WorraLiberty · 02/03/2017 23:37

This happened hours ago, so they're probably tucked up in bed fast asleep.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 02/03/2017 23:39

Be careful OP and please let someone in real life know where you are/what you're doing, why, if possible take someone with you, but yes, I'd be going back round there too.

Crispbutty · 02/03/2017 23:40

How old is your niece?

Originalfoogirl · 02/03/2017 23:43

This happened this evening and you're going around there now at nearly 11.30 at night?

Yes, because presumably an abusive man would be more than happy to have someone banging on his door at 11.30pm.