Huge, massive row with Dsis and her arsehole husband...

[Flypaperforarseholes]

Popped round to see my Dsis and niece this evening. We were having a nice evening, myself and dsis shared a bottle of wine while I trimmed my nieces hair. Niece was chatty and happy. I finished the trim just before Dsis' husband arrived home. Niece immediately fell quiet and rushed out to the utility room to get the hoover to clean up the hair. BIL came into the kitchen where we were just as niece came through with the hoover. BIL didn't greet any of us, looked at the hair on the floor and started shouting about "all this fucking mess!" The house is spotless, just a handful of trimmed hair on the floor. I said "sorry, my fault, pass the hoover Niece". BIL said "it's her hair, she'll clean it up." Then shouted at niece "Move it, you messy fat bitch!"

I was, still am, fucking incensed. How dare he speak to her like that?! She's a lovely, kind, funny, beautiful girl.
He stepped towards my niece and as he is a big bloke (6' 3"), I felt it was physically intimidating. I stepped between them and told him to step back and asked him.who the fuck he thought he was to talk to her like that. He told me to fuck off, I'm her father, this is my house, I pay the fucking bills...Dsis told my niece to go to her room, which she did, crying.
All the while BIL is shouting about me sticking my nose in where it's not wanted, calling me a stupid bitch. He then told Dsis to get me out of 'his" house or he would "throw it (me) through the window".
I was raging and told him he could give it a try but he'd get more than he bargained for if he tried. Dsis told me to get out of the house. I know she may not have had a lot of options but it still fucking hurt.
I left, BIL and myself still shouting at each other.
Now I am worried about my Dsis and niece. I have never particularly liked my BIL but have never seen this side of him before (although I don't see him often) and my Dsis and niece have never mentioned anything like this and seem generally happy. I sentered my Dsis a text on my way home asking if she's ok, she didn't reply. I called her and she didn't answer. Called niece but her mobile is going to answering machine. AIBU to go back round there to check they're ok?

I hope everything is ok.

If nothing else you will hopefully have some time to talk to your niece just the two of you then you can find out more and she can have a safe space to open up And know she has someone outside the home.

good luck with saying that worra, although you might have a point, i hope everything has calmed down, op needs to make the call tomorrow even if only to put her own mind at rest.

worra she just said her niece spoke to her and said they were still arguing, OP just look after your niece and let her vent if she needs to.

How is your niece? Is she OK?

Talk to DSis tomorrow. She'll have been hiding this from you for years and I bet there are plenty more tales she could tell.

In her position I'd get an injunction and get rid.

Well unless I've misunderstood, it's a bloody long argument.

Anyway, I hope it turns out ok for you all OP.

Although I doubt it, if you're not going to call the Police, you'll probably just aggravate the situation by sending your brother round.

Also not sure why you're now walking back to your house?

sounds very serious and dangerous
if he is that abusive when someone else is there what is he like behind closed doors with no witnesses?

Does it really matter how long the OP waited? Her version of 'evening' might be completely different to others. All that matters is that she is doing something.

I hope your DSis and niece are alright.

I too think they were abused for years, no one in normal healthy family act like that.

Fucking twat!!! How old is your niece?

I actually hope your DB will punch this excuse for human being!

How on earth a father can call his daughter a fat fucking bitch ?!?

Please keep us update

for your niece

Well done Op. Hold that niece tight and get her talking about wtfeckery is going on and if your Dsis or DB are in physical danger. If so, call the police.

I think your DSis did the right thing by telling you to leave, she knows exactly what he's capable of. I can only imagine what they went through. He acted like some psycho on the loose cos of some mess, it says a lot about his behaviour when they alone with him.

Get your DN to talk, hopefully she'll feel better once she start talking

I so hope your Diss and DB are safe.

How old is DN?

I hate, I absolutely hate it when people call their children swear names. It is sooo abusive. To call a little girl a bitch? Her own father? I'd be on the phone to the NSPCC pronto.

Can niece live with you or her uncle? I'd want her out of there.

Is your db type to calm things down or kick off and make things worse, it needs handled so carefully. Have you had any inkling of anything like this before?

Is the the first sign of abuse you've seen? If so it's clear DSis needs support as does DN. try to help them to report to the police any instances, call Women's Aid & get him out

From a very brief glimpse it sounds like domestic abuse. You must tread very carefully or you can make it worse for your sister and niece.

Arguments can go on for hours. My ex would shout/abuse all evening and into the night.

Your nieces reaction is very telling. I really hope you can help your sister here. It sounds like she needs someone to help her. Are you very close? Hopefully your niece can shed some light x

If there is a chance that Dsis and that bastard are still arguing, please call the police.

I think sending your brother around would be a good idea if you are hesitating to call the police. But overall, the police would be the best idea.

Glad DN is safe with you.

This is a situation of serious domestic abuse, judging by the shamelessness of the BIL in what he said and did as soon as he waltzed in - he didn't even sit and fume in silence as many will do until the visitor leaves. Your DN's and Dsis's reaction to him speak volumes. This has been going on a long, long time.

Please be a great sister and aunt now - you and your brother must work quickly to get your Dsis in touch with Women's Aid and you need to find a good solicitor for her, explore with her all avenues to getting away from this horrible man and back on her feet.

Glad you stood up for them both and that you've seen that your niece is physically okay.

Your BIL is an abusive wanker,when he's out of the house I'd try talking to your Sister,offer her your support,talk to her about womens aid if you can and you could point her in the direction of Mumsnet as well,there's lots of us on here who have gone through what you witnessed and worse and have ended the abusive relationship and came out the other side alot happier and safer than we'd ever thought we would be.

The Police is another good call as well if your Sisters scared or he's threatened or does threaten your Sister/your Niece.

Hope everything is okay OP? Sounds like a worrying situation.

This is domestic abuse. It's obviously been going on for a long time as evidenced by niece's reaction as soon as her "father" walked in. She's been conditioned (probably sub consciously) to behave like that in response for the abuse she knows is coming. Definitely report the situation to the authorities.

Talk to niece's school for advice?

Talk to niece's school for advice

No-one knows how old the niece is. She's old enough to leave the house at midnight to meet her boyfriend so is obviously not a little child.

Very worrying situation indeed but not 100% sure how things are going to go if you "interfere" too personally - sounds like your BIL is a violent bully, whether he actually hits your sister and niece is another matter, he's using his size to intimidate them into submission and threatened to throw you out the window.

Hope your niece is staying with you tonight and that she can maybe fill you in on a clearer background picture - but be careful how you go because the repercussions WILL fall on your sister and possibly your niece too.

Of course you do need to keep watch on this, and it would be a very good idea to report it (to SS if DN is still a child) - but bear in mind that 3rd party reporting of DV can often backfire and result in the "victim" refusing to agree that DV occurred for one, and refusing to press charges for another, which doesn't achieve much in the long run except to put the "victims" in more danger.

Police! Dont go back yourself. Can you put your sis n niece up when they leave him?

I hope you and your family are OK, OP.

I will never understand what people get out of coming onto a thread like this and questioning credentials, like the timing of events.

The OP went round to her sisters, shared a bottle of wine, and wiled away the evening. The niece sounds like she's not a kid, in bed at 7pm.

In my book, 'evening' is anytime between 5pm and midnight.

If you think the OP is bullshitting in some way - either report it (if you really think they need telling on), or just click out of the thread and move onto the next one, surely.