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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Huge, massive row with Dsis and her arsehole husband...

275 replies

Flypaperforarseholes · 02/03/2017 23:16

Popped round to see my Dsis and niece this evening. We were having a nice evening, myself and dsis shared a bottle of wine while I trimmed my nieces hair. Niece was chatty and happy. I finished the trim just before Dsis' husband arrived home. Niece immediately fell quiet and rushed out to the utility room to get the hoover to clean up the hair. BIL came into the kitchen where we were just as niece came through with the hoover. BIL didn't greet any of us, looked at the hair on the floor and started shouting about "all this fucking mess!" The house is spotless, just a handful of trimmed hair on the floor. I said "sorry, my fault, pass the hoover Niece". BIL said "it's her hair, she'll clean it up." Then shouted at niece "Move it, you messy fat bitch!"Angry

I was, still am, fucking incensed. How dare he speak to her like that?! She's a lovely, kind, funny, beautiful girl.
He stepped towards my niece and as he is a big bloke (6' 3"), I felt it was physically intimidating. I stepped between them and told him to step back and asked him.who the fuck he thought he was to talk to her like that. He told me to fuck off, I'm her father, this is my house, I pay the fucking bills...Dsis told my niece to go to her room, which she did, crying.
All the while BIL is shouting about me sticking my nose in where it's not wanted, calling me a stupid bitch. He then told Dsis to get me out of 'his" house or he would "throw it (me) through the window".
I was raging and told him he could give it a try but he'd get more than he bargained for if he tried. Dsis told me to get out of the house. I know she may not have had a lot of options but it still fucking hurt.
I left, BIL and myself still shouting at each other.
Now I am worried about my Dsis and niece. I have never particularly liked my BIL but have never seen this side of him before (although I don't see him often) and my Dsis and niece have never mentioned anything like this and seem generally happy. I sentered my Dsis a text on my way home asking if she's ok, she didn't reply. I called her and she didn't answer. Called niece but her mobile is going to answering machine. AIBU to go back round there to check they're ok?

OP posts:
empirerecordsrocked · 03/03/2017 08:49

You so did the right thing op. I hope they and you are all ok.

GwenStaceyRocks · 03/03/2017 08:50

I hope it all works out Flowers

winewolfhowls · 03/03/2017 08:50

You are amazing op so glad you were there for your sis and niece HaloFlowers

Gallavich · 03/03/2017 08:50

Assume the niece is a late teen given that she was going to her boyfriend's house at midnight?
Social services probably aren't the right agency to help here, you need to report it to the police. You witnessed a verbal assault and he threatened you. Your sister and niece need a paper trail of his abuse to protect their legal rights. They may freak out and want to back pedal which is why you must report it to the police today. Take it out of their hands.

Christmasnoooooooooooo · 03/03/2017 08:51

I really hope your dsis stays away and does not go back .

HughLauriesStubble · 03/03/2017 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mysty · 03/03/2017 08:57

Glad they are safe x

PoorYorick · 03/03/2017 08:57

You're amazing OP, hope that turd gets what he deserves.

PollytheDolly · 03/03/2017 08:59

Interesting username.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/03/2017 09:09

Interesting username.

Lord save us from online Miss bloody Marples!

If you think its bullshit then report it, no need for cryptic little comments.

CactusFred · 03/03/2017 09:16

Good luck today OP

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks · 03/03/2017 09:17

I'm so glad they have you to help them. Just please don't put yourself in danger of the wanker, and be careful.

I hope she's 'ready' to leave him. It's hard, and she may think the easiest option is to go back.

Please keep us updated. Flowers

HappyFlappy · 03/03/2017 09:23

Fly

While this is an awful thing to have happened - thank God that it did!

You and your DB are now aware of your DS's and DN's situation and they con't have to cope with it alone. I'll bet that mixed with their anxiety is a huge sense of relief that they don't have to keep up a facade any more - abuse thrives in secrecy and silence. It may take a while (it isn't an easy thing to break free of) but with family support your DS and DN have every chance of breaking free from this horrible man.

Sunnydaysrock · 03/03/2017 09:24

Your sister is very lucky to have you in her life. Well done for being so brave. Hopefully this is the start of a better life for them. I'd like to think I am as good a sister to mine as you are. Amazing.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/03/2017 09:27

Omg, that is awful, call SS. Can you speak to your dsis. If he is like that to his daughter, she is most certainly being abused.

Aeroflotgirl · 03/03/2017 09:32

I would have a serious talk to your sister, telling her its abuse, and urging her to contact WA. Offer her and her kids your home if she needs to escape.

Snowflake65 · 03/03/2017 09:38

Flowers OP - well done for standing up to that bullying arse and helping your Dsis and DN out of that environment.

If he was prepared to act like that in front of you then God knows what has been going on behind closed doors.

HiggeldyPiggeldy · 03/03/2017 09:39

good to hear that your Dsis and DN are with you and out of the situation, I hope they both get the right help and support, maybe you could call WA for advice

ItsNachoCheese · 03/03/2017 09:47

Hope you and your dsis and dn are okay and get some help to keep away from your twat of a bil

cordeliavorkosigan · 03/03/2017 09:52

Perhaps you could also talk to women's aid and ask about contacting the police about the threats he made against you. Or just contact them.
So, so great that they are with you and safe.

ToastVacuum · 03/03/2017 09:53

Well done OP, this may well change their lives hugely.

Rubyslippers7780 · 03/03/2017 09:56

Hope everyone is OK.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 03/03/2017 09:57

Well done Op!

Oldraver · 03/03/2017 10:02

I'm so glad your DSIS and DN have family support...you read on here how so many women feel they dont have this...

NanFlanders · 03/03/2017 10:03

Well done. You are a star.