to think MIL could have been a bit happier about baby news?

[LondonMum79]

Told MIL today that baby no.3 is on the way. She made a face like thunder, and said "Oh ***. Well, it's your own business." And then she completely changed the subject.
It has left me feeling really upset but DH thinks I should just suck it up.

When we told my parents we were expecting our first we got deadpan faces and my dad said "oh, well I hope we'll still be alive when it arrives". WTF?
(Neither parent was/is terminally ill btw.)

When I told my mother about number4 being on the way (along time ago, number 4 is a mother herself now). Her response, "you can have an abortion, it's legal now".
I think her generation felt that larger families, or sometimes even just two, damaged your 'respectability' in some way. Y'know, they must have been doing naughty stuff..

My mum told me what an enormous shock it was when we told her about our latest pregnancy. She just kept going, "Oh, it's such a shock! Such a shock!" After about 5 mins of this crap (and no 'congratulations' or 'how exciting' forthcoming) I told her I'd phone and talk to her another time when the 'shock' had sunk in a bit.

Why it was such a bloody shock when me and dp are in a LTR, solvent, own a house together, in good health, and already had 2 kids is still a complete mystery to me. She was just being a tosser basically.

80sMum - Yes I was really upset when she said that. But TBH,that was nothing compared to some of the gems she came out with over the next 10 years! Thankfully,it is all in the past now,and I don't have anything to do with her any more.

The only MIL I know who reacted like that, was one who was expected by SIL to do all the childcare. MIL looked after the kids from 1 year olds to starting school from 8-6pm, afterschool and breakfast time when they started school, and babysat at weekend too. SIL assumed she would do the same with baby number 3.

When I told my ex MIL I was pg with DC2 she said "its morn too late to get rid of it?"

*not

I got all these negative replies with each of my pregnancy announcements so kept silent about our last DC until a month before he was due, and only told DM then because she was coming to visit. She didn't like children.

This sort of links in with the thread there was a few weeks ago about grandparents not taking an interest in their grandchildren.

The point is - the grandparents are not in control. If they have one child and are happy with one child - they're not going to be very enthusiastic about that child having 4 kids and expecting them to help look after them (or at least shower them with birthday and Christmas gifts). I can totally understand why you might get a cats bum face/less than an enthusiastic response even though they might be really happy once the baby is there.

And there might be other grandkids - my mum has a friend with 2 kids who had 7 kids between them. And they live locally and expect her to babysit etc. So I'm sure she would have been happier if they'd stuck to 2 kids each. 7 is a lot of grandchildren to buy presents for and to be asked to look after! Some of them are quite old now (late teens) but it must have been difficult when they were all under about 7.

I think my MIL was quite shocked when we told her I was pregnant with our first baby. H is adopted and she'd always told us that she didn't mind whether or not we had children - initially I thought this was so we didn't feel any pressure in case we were having problems conceiving but actually I think she probably would have preferred it if we hadn't had children. Her response was, "Don't expect me to babysit" which wasn't likely as she lives a 3 hour drive away.

She didn't like me being pregnant and kept saying it wasn't an illness which was odd as I had such an easy pregnancy I wasn't complaining at all which was just as well with her making comments like that. DS was born 4 weeks early when she happened to be visiting but she had to be persuaded to visit us in the hospital as she said it would bring back bad memories.

I have to say, my whole family felt upset when my sister announced her 2nd pregnancy. She was just about to leave her abusive, alcoholic husband and then found out she was pregnant and decided to stay. She expected us all to be happy for her. I think we all managed to congratulate her though, even in those circumstances.

i cant wait to tell my MIL and SIL when i get pregnant, as they hate me. So very worried they will curse me and my child though, i swear she's a witch.