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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think MIL could have been a bit happier about baby news?

186 replies

LondonMum79 · 01/03/2017 20:30

Told MIL today that baby no.3 is on the way. She made a face like thunder, and said "Oh ***. Well, it's your own business." And then she completely changed the subject.
It has left me feeling really upset but DH thinks I should just suck it up.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 01/03/2017 20:31

Ugh how awful. Congratulations :o

AtiaoftheJulii · 01/03/2017 20:33

Told MIL we were expecting #4 - "oh no, you're not?"

Some people are just miserable cowbags.

AtiaoftheJulii · 01/03/2017 20:33

And congratulations!

Lf803 · 01/03/2017 20:33

Pretty sure MIL are sent to make our life's hellish... well mine certainly was. Don't take any notice of her. Smile

Mumzypopz · 01/03/2017 20:33

I'd have asked her what she meant by that?

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 01/03/2017 20:34

My parents were similar about #2! Ignore, and congratulations!

buttfacedmiscreant · 01/03/2017 20:35

DH is being an arse and expecting you to rugsweep rude behaviour.

MIL may have been caught off guard and said something rude but unless there is a big and genuine apology then I think I would be making myself and my kids scarce.

Congratulations!

YouJumpIJumpJack · 01/03/2017 20:36

Congratulations Flowers

My own DMs reaction was similar when I told her but now he's here she's over the moon.

I hope her attitude improves, but if it doesn't just think about how happy you are as it doesn't matter what others think.

Springsummer2017 · 01/03/2017 20:36

My inlaws the same! It was deemed 'a disaster' because shock horror i got pregnant just before our wedding day. Baby 2 was then met with complete indifference and my fil still hasn't bothered to meet her at 8 months old!

EssentialHummus · 01/03/2017 20:36

I told mine yesterday (their first GC!) and my mum's response was to ask whether I'd like money from them for a private birth Confused - er, no. Some people can't do "Congratulations, that's lovely, when are you due?"

Springsummer2017 · 01/03/2017 20:37

Congratulations btw!

SookiesSocks · 01/03/2017 20:37

Not everyone is happy about babies its not automatic or the law.

However she could have managed a smile even if it was fake.

Congratulations OP as long has you are happy may no attention Flowers

Springsummer2017 · 01/03/2017 20:37

Essential take the money...! God anything to stay out an NHS postnatal ward!

Laiste · 01/03/2017 20:37

My DMs responses:

DC1 - you'll cope.
DC2 - another one?
DC3 - really?

All planned with first husband by the way - not a string of one night stands or anything!

silkybear · 01/03/2017 20:38

My grandmothers response to the news of baby #2 was 'oh dear' 😆

SaucyJack · 01/03/2017 20:39

My mum asked me if I'd left it too late to get an abortion when I told her about DD3 :-/

harderandharder2breathe · 01/03/2017 20:41

Congratulations!

I get that not everyone is excited about babies but surely you can at least manage a smile and "congrats" for your own grandchild?

DramaAlpaca · 01/03/2017 20:42

I got similar from my DF when I announced I was expecting DC3. He assumed the pregnancy was unplanned and when I corrected him got all huffy & wouldn't speak to me for a couple of weeks. Oh, he also told me I was stupid to have another because I couldn't manage the two I'd already got. Thanks dad.

Congratulations, OP. I'm very happy for you Flowers

Soubriquet · 01/03/2017 20:42

My nan when I announced number 2

Me: hey guess what. I'm pregnant!
Her: your not!
Me: yes! About 6 weeks
Her: well you're a bloody idiot
Me: you what?!
Her: well you are. You was so ill when you had Dd. Why are you having another one
Me: you know what? It's my body and if I want another baby I will!
Her: well yeah I suppose

She loves him now Hmm

But before dh had the snip she kept saying no more babies alright. If I dared to say i was thinking about it, she would go mad

Funny thing is, she has 5 kids!

chitofftheshovel · 01/03/2017 20:49

All of my close family wrote to me to suggest aborting my first child. Yes he wasn't planned. Yes I had been with his dad a very very short amount of time but I am pro choice and it was the right choice for me. I'll never forget it (but do forgive, kind of). It's horrid.

OhMrBadger · 01/03/2017 20:51

How many kids does your MIL have, OP? I'd bet she's feeling ousted in her role as Supreme Matriarch!

TinselTwins · 01/03/2017 20:52

My DM:

"hmm, well! I didn't expect THAT!" Confused we were married with a toddler DD1 - hardly breaking the mould with a second baby there…
When she was born we rang her and we told her her name: "hmmm. okay". No "congrats" or "that's a lovely name" etc.

Now she swears blind that she was DELIGHTED for us Hmm
Her loss, we remember, and we don't go to her with our news any more.

witsender · 01/03/2017 20:53

My parents will do similar, I know it. But it will be more about us not coping, because my mum in particular likes to believe that I don't cope and am exhausted... Because she wants to be needed. Am dreading it tbh.

Yanbu btw, very rude. The only polite thing to say is congratulations, whatever they think.

brexitschmexit · 01/03/2017 21:01

Told DB I was pregnant with DC2: "oh surprise surprise!"

Told DM I was pregnant with DC3: "oh no, not another summer baby!" (DC1 is summer born, to be fair she did say congratulations first, but it was swiftly followed by this....)

If only I had known the wonderful MN saying "did you mean to be so rude?" back then!

MrsBobDylan · 01/03/2017 21:02

Oh, that's shit, what a mean woman. I love people's baby news and can't imagine not being able to mange a simple congratulations.