The cafe guy called me FAT

[PonyPals]

I was having a lovely day to my self shopping and decided to grab a coffee. I ordered a skinny latte and the guy said 'you know there is so much sugar in skinny milk, you shouldn't drink it and that is why you are Fat. I was so shocked 😳 and embarrassed and mumbled something like... I like being Fat and walked off.
I wish I had the guts to say something! What would you do?

Nice way to keep customers happy!

Next time you go into the cafe explain what happened to a different member of staff. You can say you were shocked and if he continues with that sort of remark they might lose loyal customers. If it's a place you go to regularly I'd hope, as his family member or not, they'd be embarrassed and offer an apology free latte.

Tripadvisor is your friend here. What a douche!

That's extremely rude of him. He's right about the milk but gosh, you asked for a latte, not nutritional advice.

OpalFruitsMarathons

I'm quite disappointed in myself that I've got so frustrated with the victim blaming bulshit because the theory is so enriching.

Honestly, you made yourself feel crap in that situation. You didn't own your response and now you blame us. If you had been confident you could have owned the situation.

"I struggle to get treatment on the NHS because the resources are overstretched."

Oh yes because the "fat" people are to blame for the state of the NHS; Piss off for fuck sake. What about all those pregnant women? Cancer victims? Let's blame everyone but the state!

OP, you are not at fault in any way. He was rude and nothing justifies it as making hurtful remarks is nasty in any culture. I admire your restraint actually, I wouldn't have been able to keep my annoyance at bay, I'd have chucked the coffee at him.

Don't dwell on what the ignoramus said, you can lose weight if/when you want to but he'll always be an obnoxious little fucker!

Honestly, you made yourself feel crap in that situation. You didn't own your response and now you blame us. If you had been confident you could have owned the situation.

She did make herself feel crap but why? She didn't own the response - she can't even own the fact she's fat (so what if you are) - I would have told him to FO

Think she lacks self confidence and could probably do with some help there - or address the weight issue.

SanityAssassin

He called you fat and you're upset but you ordered a SKINNY latte and that's ok to refer to a low fat milk drink as skinny (knowing why it is called that) underweight people can be just as offended as fat ones.

Really? You know that full fat milk is a thing as well, right?

I hope you were joking.

Oh boy 😂

Anybody who wants their business to do well knows that you don't insult the customer! That's INTERNATIONAL surely

Sorry you've had to put up with this shit, OP. What an absolute cunt that pathetic, vile little man is- please don't take it to heart.

I used to teach EFL to students from a variety of countries and cultures and my Thai students were lovely on the whole, but very blunt, saying I was fat. Now obviously I was offended and self-conscious because this is rude and insulting, but I was told that they are "honest" and "say as they see, with no offence meant". It still didn't make it any better, but I just think other cultures are different and us Brits are so darned polite and considerate- I would certainly never have told my Thai students to consider visiting a dentist especially after being repeatedly told I was fat, even though it was tempting!!

Enourmoustiger - the link is between body fat and Cancer not weight (or BMI) and Cancer. So for example an obese person with low body fat is less at risk than someone who is 'skinny fat'.

Ubertasha - Thais, like Indians, are 'honest' when it comes to calling others names. You try being honest with them and you'll see how honest they really are. A lot of Asian cultures feel it's ok to insult fat women - but don't accept honest criticism in return. For example if you call out someone for having bad breath, or not washed properly.

Chloe84, the fact that you use quite disappointed and feeling crap as interchangeable descriptions of an emotion speaks volumes to your lack of understanding in relation to emotion intelligence.

He's a cheeky git, you should have told him to sod off

I think it's ludicrous to compare being called skinny with being called fat. Skinny doesn't carry any of the same connotations. Obviously people can get too thin and that's not good but skinny people aren't shamed and pitied in the same way. It's not assumed that they lack discipline or that they are inactive or lazy.

Skinny latte is what the Americans call it. I would ask for a latte with semi-skimmed milk.

my Thai students were lovely on the whole, but very blunt, saying I was fat.

My Korean students were like that. Except when I was in Korea I was no where near fat, I was just a wider frame size than Korean women.

I would drag that cafe up and down social media and Trip Advisor as fast as you could say skinny macchiato.

Ooh, yes, TripAdvisor is an excellent idea. (And TripAdvisor is forever.)

I like to think if this happened to me I would channel Malcolm Tucker, and growl "when I want your opinion I'll give you that special signal, which will be me being sectioned under the Mental Health Act."

I am more likely to be livid, shuffle of and cry.
op

as much as fat people are trying to claim it's normal/hormonal/medical they are just FAT absolutely don't care but really - it's not normal in the slightest.

And lets socially shame a whole business for pointing out a person was fat ( cos i doubt he owns the café)

If you're that ashamed of being fat sort it out.

Its not normal to be a rude twat either.

The man was rude.

I don't think there's any two ways about it.

You should have said: "I can lose the weight mate, but you'll always be a cunt!".