The cafe guy called me FAT

[PonyPals]

I was having a lovely day to my self shopping and decided to grab a coffee. I ordered a skinny latte and the guy said 'you know there is so much sugar in skinny milk, you shouldn't drink it and that is why you are Fat. I was so shocked 😳 and embarrassed and mumbled something like... I like being Fat and walked off.
I wish I had the guts to say something! What would you do?

In my head I'd like to have ordered a glass of full fat milk, then chucked it over him and say, "You know there is so much moisture in full fat milk, you shouldn't wear it, and that is why you are wet"

IRL I would have slunk away and later cried.

as much as fat people are trying to claim it's normal/hormonal/medical they are just FAT absolutely don't care but really - it's not normal in the slightest.

Lots of things aren't "normal" like being really tall or short, or disabled, or a minority, or a multitude of other things. Is it ok to be rude to them to?

Today 11:12 LouKout

Its not normal to be a rude twat either.

I think it's quite normal to be 'rude' - that's why we have to socialise our children to varying degrees of 'success'.

And lets socially shame a whole business for pointing out a person was fat ( cos i doubt he owns the café)

I'm struggling to fully appreciate your point. Do you think that making unasked for personal remarks is some kind of public service?

What do you see as the difference between the cafe being shamed (bad) and the customer being shamed (good)?

If I am being totally honest...I think the guy was very rude, you are right to have been upset. It was a shame you didn't say anything then and there. I am not sure shaming him on Trip Advisor is the way to go.

I think the only thing to say is to borrow a line from House of Cards...

"These days, when you're talking to one person, you're talking to a thousand."

Shall we ask what Twitter has to say about you insulting your customers?

(Of course I would have been shocked at the time and just stammered Fuck you asshole)

And lets socially shame a whole business for pointing out a person was fat ( cos i doubt he owns the café)

I understand that as a 'two wrongs don't make a right sentiment'.

Reckon it's a gender thing as much as cultural. Men will often comment (take the piss) when a friend has put weight on, but they just treat it in the humour in which it's intended and don't seem to get all offended. Generally, if their weight really is troubling them, they don't go looking for reassurance; they'll do something about it: take up running, drink less beer, eat less etc.

What a total nob end.
You should have said ' at least I can loose weight if I choose but you will always be an ugly arse hole.'
I'd complain and try and get the toddler group to meet somewhere else so they don't get your money.
No business should employ someone with so little tact.

It's just rude to make a comment like that. I wonder how they have any customers if the guy makes a habit of it.
It's no good telling someone not to let it bother them. If it does, it does.

So many threads appearing about being fat, or overweight at the moment. Active is flooded with them.
I don't believe this. Sorry.

I was told often by their own friends and relatives that I was fat. It was stated as a fact

As you say Chatted - it is a comment of fact.

It is really only in our own Western cultures that "fat" is an insult rather than a description. We are the ones who should re-think demonising a body type/shape. There are many reason why people carry excess weight. Greed is probably the least common.

(Having said that I would have burst into tears if someone had sauid that o me. And then I would have broken his arms.)

I am a firm believer are that nobody makes me feel anything

Well, good for you Opal

Very well done.

You should be proud.

SanityAssassin if you know so much about how to stop people being fat, please do point me to evidence as to where your approach has worked. I'm sure we'd all feel the benefit.

Yeah not sure I believe this actually.

That's awful. If you've no choice but to use that cafe be ready with a sharp response next time.

On the contrary, there is a marginally higher fat content in skimmed milk and skinny milk but none is added.

What complete and utter bollocks. Skimmed milk has more fat than water, but it doesn't have more fat than whole milk.

HappyFlappy I wouldn't say proud. Content certainly, but pride is quite a useless emotion.

It is really only in our own Western cultures that "fat" is an insult rather than a description.

This is completely untrue - it's very much an insult to call someone fat in Japan for example. Something can be an insult and a description. It would be absolutely accurate to call me ugly for example but just because I know it doesn't make it less hurtful. The hurt comes from knowing somebody wanted to make me feel bad.

Sorry should say the second half of my response isn't really linked to your point to be fair flappy - I know you're not saying it shouldn't be upsetting.

Thinking about it, I've actually been in a similar situation myself, OP. I was in a shop browsing boxed chocolates (for a gift, not that it should make any difference). Some bloke came up to me and said, 'There's an awful lot of calories in those, you know'. I stared at him and just said what I felt, 'That was so rude'. He actually looked surprised and immediately apologised, then his mate came along and chastised him for 'causing trouble again'.

So you can choose all this emotional self-modification if it makes you feel better (or just better than the rest of us), but emotional honesty is important too and can also achieve results.

You should have said: "I can lose the weight mate, but you'll always be a cunt!".

Oh I'd be over the moon if I was behind you in the queue with my 3&6 year old.

Worst one I had was at an airport about to go away for my honeymoon - I was well in healthy BMI range. A man looked me up and down and said "if you lost 20lbs it would make a real difference".

Why the fuck do these men think it's up to them to hand out this "advice". Like the whole world of women is one big beauty contest with them as the judges.

Why the fuck do these men think it's up to them to hand out this "advice". Like the whole world of women is one big beauty contest with them as the judges.

Patriarchal bollocks, innit