to think the nanny is crossing boundaries?

[marathonman]

Which of these issues that I've had with a school wraparound plus occasional overnights nanny would bother or concern you the most? One primary school aged DC.

1. Showering/getting ready for work or nights out whilst supervising DC
2. Helping herself to food/toiletries when doing wraparound not overnights
3. Timekeeping issues - lateness arriving in mornings, not getting DC to school on time
4. Sleeping with DC in parents bed on overnight
5. Taking DC for own medical appointment rather than asking for cover
6. Asking parents to come home early on a babysitting night then going out and calling in sick then next day

I would just like reference for what other parents think would be an issue...

Go the kind of wrap around care you seem to need, I think an au pair would be a better option for you. Then you have wrap around care built into daily life so you can be less hung up about showering etc.

I have had pay by hour nannies, live in nannies and au pairs, in every scenario, I would tolerate an awful lot for someone who has a good relationship with my DC and keeps them safe and well looked after. You don't mention the relationship your childminder has with your DC at all, which I think is missing the point entirely, and quite weird. Sacking someone who is fantastic with the kids over a bit of toothpaste would be insane.

I have previously employed 3 Nannies over the years and all of those things would bother me to be fair . I think you need a new Nanny really but I understand that's hassle and in London there is usually a fee finding one through an agency .
Good Luck with it all

Definitely 3, 6 and 2.
2 indicates a propensity to steal. Unless you said it was ok the first time round. If concerned about other issues. Babycam.

I agree with Thingvellir, it is odd that the person who is most affected by this nanny and who would be most affected by a change of personnel is not mentioned at all

1,3,4,6 are all no-nos. Why get in your bed when you have provided her a bed to sleep in? That's crossing a line for me. Also, she can eat within reason and use handwash/handcream in toilet etc but I would find it weird if she used anything else unless she was doing an overnight and has to go to her other job straight from yours in the morning (with my permission). Find another nanny and pay them the suggested minimum wage rate.
harshbuttrue you should take a chill pill. We all read your post the first time saying the overnight rate is actually illegal. You sound like you have a personal vendetta against the OP who immediately took your point.

DC likes nanny but I wouldn't say nanny is fantastic with DC and had a few different childcare scenarios due to changes at work and home so DC would not be too upset by a change. Nanny has only been around for 3-4 months hence level of familiarity is unwarranted! A lot of it would be less of an issue if nanny had spent that time earning trust than pushing boundaries.

I don't think you should keep the nanny, but I think you are a little cavalier about your children's welfare. Saying they've had plenty of changes so they won't be upset by another flies in the face of most evidence. The more changes in primary carers that a child has, the more adversely impacted they are by further changes. If you think this nanny is safe with the children, I would take time to plan out a longer term solution.

She's not the primary carer though BoomBoom - she's with DC 2 hours a day.

Up thread you said she had a contract for a minimum of 18 hours a week. with your other comments about her care I had assumed this was during the week and the DC was at school, so you can see how I might read that as them relying on her for quite a lot of their primary care? It's your D.C. And you will know them best, just check you aren't minimizing the way your DC might see these changes - kids' worlds are a lot smaller than adults'.

Is the nanny your sister?? If not you need a new nanny!

OP you get what you pay for.

As a voluntary ofsted registered home carer with insurance, first aid cert etc my overnight care rate is not much less than my daily rate. The reason for this is that I have sole responsibility and am in loco parentis and have decisions to make should an emergency arise.

For what you are paying I think you have to put up and shut up, with the exception of the bed and late situation.

You are not paying min wage!

You allow a stranger to sleep in the same bed as your kids!? :/

Just to let the OP know that where I am ( not London) the rate for sleep nights is £34 ( a night) so not illegal to pay, because the council pays that if you sleep in a residential home!( so not nanny job) It's called sleep rates, and £8.36 a hour from 7pm to 11 pm, then back again at 7am.

Yeah you need a new nanny getting kids late to school unacceptable and calling in sick after a night out unacceptable.

Having a shower at work def overstepping the mark.

Food and toiletries would be ok in my book.

Sleeping in your bed - well it depends on the context -were the kids upset and missing you? Maybe that's the only way she could comfort them?

Just get rid and get a new one.

Your paying £30 for her to sleep same as a sleep over in a care setting I don't see the issue.

The issue is that the law has now changed, and this is illegal.

Your paying £30 for her to sleep same as a sleep over in a care setting I don't see the issue.

The issue is that it is against the law.

1 and 2 fine. The rest no.

3 4 & 6 are wrong

Time keeping is essential - def wouldn't co sleep with charge - and cheeky to ask employed to come home. Then go out. Then be sick /off work following day

Don't see the harm in 1 2 5 - what's wrong with the nanny having a shower or eating at your house and tbh she's prob trying to save you hassles taking charge to doctor with her - rather then have time off / you come home early

I have a nanny but she doesn't take the p** as much as your nanny!
Food and toiletries are normal.
No 5 if she can't get cover then I'd understand, we all have docs app at some point and you don't miss them because of work either.
However the rest is outrageous and would definitely bring them up with her and if she doesn't change then look for another nanny, I wouldn't put up with her... good luck xx