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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think the nanny is crossing boundaries?

220 replies

marathonman · 28/02/2017 16:19

Which of these issues that I've had with a school wraparound plus occasional overnights nanny would bother or concern you the most? One primary school aged DC.

Showering/getting ready for work or nights out whilst supervising DC
Helping herself to food/toiletries when doing wraparound not overnights
Timekeeping issues - lateness arriving in mornings, not getting DC to school on time
Sleeping with DC in parents bed on overnight
Taking DC for own medical appointment rather than asking for cover
Asking parents to come home early on a babysitting night then going out and calling in sick then next day

I would just like reference for what other parents think would be an issue...

OP posts:

Dagnabit · 28/02/2017 19:36

Brasty thank you. I'm not sure minimum wage existed when I did them, to be honest!

Historygirl97 · 28/02/2017 19:57

3 and 4 are definite no's from me!!! But tbh all of them would bother me. I'd be looking for a new nanny if I were you.

Willow2016 · 28/02/2017 20:04

£10 per hour net for normal hours isnt as bad as some people are making out! I dont know about the sleeping in bits so wont comment except when I did them I didnt get paid my normal hours as I was sleeping (although expected to get up if needed which occaisionally happened) it was a set rate.

I dont get all the hostility towards the op, the 'nanny' is very unprofessional and is taking the p.

Who thinks its ok to rock up to work in your pjs and spend an hour (paid) getting washed and dressed before you actually start work?
Her job is to be in charge of the kids yet she cannot get them to school on time?
Says she is leaving work early to go out and then gets too pissed to come to work next day?
Sleeps in their bed?

Nope either she has no clue (does she even have qualifications/experience except the other job?) or she is doing too much per week and is knackered.

Find a good nanny, put everything in writing and agree contract terms and hopefully they will be a revalation compared to this one.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/02/2017 20:06

£10 per hour net for normal hours isnt as bad as some people are making out!

£30 for the whole night us illegal however.

brasty · 28/02/2017 20:06

I think £10 an hour is fine. She is not doing her job properly. I would recruit someone new, but you do need to pay for overnights properly. Iy does not matter if she is sleeping, you still need to pay her minimum wage. The law in this changed as a result of a court case.

Willow2016 · 28/02/2017 20:11

Piglet I did say that I didnt know anything about the over nights these days.

harshbuttrue1980 · 28/02/2017 20:15

Piglet, if she reports him, he'll have to pay her the back pay x 200%!! :-) I hope he sacks her and that causes her to get wise and take him to court. There is no room for exploitative behaviour in modern-day UK, and I wish the law would catch up with everybody who acts like this. A security guard working overnight gets paid minimum wage even though they might be on their phone all night if there are no intruders, why shouldn't a nanny?? They are both giving up their time to be on their employer's premises in case something goes wrong. £30 for an overnight is despicable, I don't know how you can sleep at night yourself.

PuntCuffin · 28/02/2017 20:24

harsh wrong. I always had to stay in a flat above the surgery. At some clinics, every other night. And got paid a pretty shit salary (below national average) for the privilege. If you consider sitting around or sleeping as working time, many vets are paid considerably less than national minimum wage.
And there's no need to be so patronising with your 'if you can't afford minimum wage, you can't afford to employ someone. Simples'. I was asking a genuine question. Someone before you said they pay £50 from 11pm-7pm which is less than NMW so it clearly isn't so simples.

Seryph · 28/02/2017 20:32

I'm also a nanny in Glasgow , and I usually charge between £8.50 and £9.50 depending on what is required of me. So, like if you wanted me to take care of the kids, clean the house and do the laundry for the whole family you would be paying more!

I think that 3 and 6 are completely out of order.
1 really depends on how much time she has between working for you and her other job. Frankly if she is having to roll out of bed come straight to you, drop off the kids, go to work, get the kids and then work till midnight, then yeah she needs to be able to get ready at yours.

2, um... yes. Yes you should feed us. A banana, sandwich, or bit of the dinner I just cooked for the children should be mine if I am at yours during meal times.

4, depends on the reason. If it was the only way to settle a ill or upset child then yes, but I'd probably have tried everything else in the book first, and I would of course tell you straight away first thing the next day. And change the bedding.

5, again, would really try to avoid it but if there was literally no other available appointment and I was desperate then yes. It would just have to happen, my health has to come first.

As for overnights, I would expect at least hourly minimum wage (or at least very close to it, say £50 for 7 hours rather than £52.5). I know fine an well I don't get a good night's sleep on overnights because I am so hyper-aware.

OopsDearyMe · 28/02/2017 20:43

3 and 6

Ebb · 28/02/2017 20:57

I was a nanny for 20+ years. I have never got showered at work either on arrival or before leaving. Neither have any of my nanny friends. A professional nanny will arrive at work, washed, dressed and ready to start on time. I would eat lunch at work but generally would eat breakfast/tea at home unless specifically agreed.

Wages vary from area to area. £8 - £10 gross is not uncommon where I live. You offer a salary and a nanny can either accept or decline.

I've never shared a bed with a nanny charge. It crosses a line imo.

I'd possibly take a charge to a doctor's/dentist appointment depending on what the problem was and with parents permission. I prefer to do this in my own time though although not always easy if working full time.

Going out then calling in sick - no!

It is fairly standard for Nannies to charge normal rates til X time then a flat 'over night' fee then normal rates from wake up assuming children sleep through. This can be whatever is agreed between nanny and employer.

She sounds unprofessional. You're obviously not happy. Give her notice.

OopsDearyMe · 28/02/2017 21:00

This is crazy, she's a mothers help then, not a nanny. An over night nanny where is live costs from £150 from 12 - 7am and childminders and babysitting his around £15 per hour and nannies around £25. I'm not in London or an affluent area either.
I saw this a lot when I was younger and vulnerable, you want her to be a robot, god forbid she eats! without her own life! The only issues I really have are with the timekeeping and number six although I wonder how mush if that is your assumption.
Why don't you try looking after your own child instead of getting someone else to do your job for you, then complain!

Stickerrocks · 28/02/2017 21:15

If your are properly registered with HMRC, they could easily catch up with you for exploiting her under NMW legislation. If you aren't registered as her employer, she could easily drop you in it.

EmeraldScorn · 28/02/2017 21:17

You're exploiting her to be perfectly honest. I wouldn't have an issue with her having food and/or using my toiletries; You're paying her so little perhaps she can't afford toothpaste.

If she's in a Union and I was her, I'd be seeking advice on taking you to a tribunal, you really are taking the piss.

Anything else is irrelevant given your own poor/unfair treatment of her!

BiscuitMillionaire · 28/02/2017 21:26

All you people so disgusted and outraged that she's being exploited are hilarious! She's paid more than me per hour and I'm employed by a local authority and work in a school! In an expensive area! She only does the overnights occasionally - read the OP! You always get the MNers who hate and despise anyone who has the gall to employ a nanny at all.

slithytove · 28/02/2017 21:26

Do you employ her or is it self employment?

BiscuitMillionaire · 28/02/2017 21:27

She can't afford toothpaste! LOL!

TheOnlyLivingBoyinNewCork · 28/02/2017 21:31

She only does the overnights occasionally - read the OP! You always get the MNers who hate and despise anyone who has the gall to employ a nanny at all

Doesn't matter if its occasionally when its illegal. And that's not nanny wages, she's not a nanny, she's a babysitter.

BiscuitMillionaire · 28/02/2017 21:36

Ebb said I was a nanny for 20+ years ...
Wages vary from area to area. £8 - £10 gross is not uncommon where I live. You offer a salary and a nanny can either accept or decline.

PuffinDodger · 28/02/2017 21:52

3, 6 and 7

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 28/02/2017 22:02

On the national minimum wage point I think you would be OK as on average her hourly wage would be over national minimum wage. You should check this is actually correct though.

I definitely sack her though.

brasty · 28/02/2017 22:04

If she has a written contract, which she should legally, then no you cannot average wages out. She is being illegally underpaid for over nights. The rest is fine.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/02/2017 22:14

She only does the overnights occasionally

Doesn't matter how often it is. You can't move pay NMW!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 28/02/2017 22:15

She's paid more than me per hour and I'm employed by a local authority and work in a school!

And....

deckoff · 01/03/2017 07:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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