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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to shave anymore

223 replies

Grindelwaldswand · 21/02/2017 23:08

So recently I decided i couldn't be bothered with give myself a full Brazilian every few days so I stopped shaving apart from my legs and armpits but DP is driving me mental with his insistence that it's wrong and gross and he doesn't want/won't have sex with me till i shave it Angry i know Im not been unreasonable but he's driving me mental !! Its my bloody body not his

OP posts:
Trills · 22/02/2017 18:49

Congratulations! You are one of the few people in the world who are able to make decisions in a complete vacuum. You are not influenced by anyone else or by societal pressures and expectations. Maybe you could share your secret.

I like this.

Of course, we'd all LOVE to think that we make our decisions on our own without any influence.

It's scary when you start to realise the extent to which your preferences are affected by society.

So I can see why the delusional people are trying to hard to hold onto their delusions.

elQuintoConyo · 22/02/2017 18:58

Have you told him to fuck off yet, OP?

How very fucking dare he!

I trim the edges once a week before i go to the pool so i'm not banned I look like a bear. Or a beaver, i suppose.

Otherwise it is ginormous and luxurient. I have a hairy growler not a bald squeaker and i'm proud Grin

Klaphat · 22/02/2017 19:00

Tell him he'll get what he's given and be grateful!

I treat DP to me getting a hollywood wax twice a year

Because women's bodies are gifts for male gratification.

Incidentally I shave my armpits two or three times a week year-round and my legs once or twice a week in the summer, mainly. I trim my bush with scissors when it gets long enough to reach down and stab me in the clitoris when wearing tight jeans. The first two are mainly due to societal pressure - I am fully conscious of this. DH is given not the faintest hint of 'input' into my personal grooming.

littlefrog3 · 22/02/2017 19:03

Of course, we'd all LOVE to think that we make our decisions on our own without any influence. It's scary when you start to realise the extent to which your preferences are affected by society. So I can see why the delusional people are trying to hard to hold onto their delusions.

Speak for yourself luv. We're not all insecure and shallow and easily led. And some of us CAN do what we want just because we want to do it. No matter HOW much you would like to think otherwise.

And how incredibly rude and ignorant and patronising to just assume that just because YOU can't make your own decisions and do anything without influence or because it's expected of you, that everyone else is the same. Who do you think you are?

Some laughable posts on here. I genuinely feel sorry for some of you.

You are basically saying that we posters who say we do stuff because we WANT to are liars. How narrow minded and nasty.

Kindly do not accuse me of being delusional or a liar! You are coming across as very unpleasant and bitter and verrrry defensive.

I am done on this thread now. I can see that some people don't like it when people DARE to have an opinion that they don't agree with. I am glad I have a friendship circle that is like me, and not like some of the (very defensive) women on here. I would unfriend some of the people on this thread in a heartbeat. Snarky, defensive, rude, obnoxious. And those are their good points!

Eolian · 22/02/2017 19:05

I think it's important that people think about why they do things. And the pubic hair is dirty and smelly narrative is damaging.

I agree, people should think about why they do things. But some of us do think about it, are fully aware that nobody is immune to societal pressure, and yet are still happy that we are making the decision that is most pleasing or comfortable for us as individuals. I do not think pubic hair is inherently dirty, smelly, unhygienic or horrible at all. I just find that it makes me too hot and sweaty in the pants department. If other people are happily bushy and sweat-free, lucky them! It feels as though I am being told that this cannot possibly be my real reason. But it really genuinely is. I have no other reason because I truly don't give a monkey's what anyone else (including dh) would think of my level of bushiness.

Iggi999 · 22/02/2017 19:22

Oh littlefrog go and have a Brew and think about what you've just typed.

FriendofBill · 22/02/2017 19:26

Hair and follicle are an essential part of the bodies hearing and cooling system.
It doesn't make you hot.
If you were hot the follicle would behave a certain way to cool you, and the hair would wick moisture away.

If you were on a deserted island, you would not be faffing about removing your pubes because you were too hot or your pubic area wasn't clean. We do this because of societal pressure. Marketing. Capitalism. Misogyny. Sex industry. Culture. The male gaze, which, sadly is the lens a lot of us view ourselves through.

Removing your pubic hair is not good for you, it has no benefit (except a negotiable sexual one) and is detrimental in some ways.

BenadrylCucumberpatch · 22/02/2017 19:50

I get sick to fucking death of people saying that a woman who shaves her pubic hair resembles a pre-pubescent child.

I've shaved for years, but I promise you with my breasts, hips, stretchmarks and 30 something face, I do not resemble a child whatsoever despite not cultivating a bush. And given sex isn't a night time only habit, I'm sure DH knows I'm not a actually a child too.

sibys1 · 22/02/2017 19:56

Littlefrog. - either you are one in a million (probably even rarer than that) or deeply naïve to think that you and your decisions are in no way influenced by the society you were raised and live in. For example, do you think you would be the same person, with the exact same skills and views you have now, if you were born in China, 1000 years ago?

It's not that people say you are a liar when you say you do something because you want to do it want, it's just a recognition that most of our 'wants' (save for the most basic human desires) are influenced by the world around us.

In the context of grooming pubic hair or not, there's been an obvious trend towards grooming in some societies in recent years. It's not a personal choice that many women were making that long ago, but now many do. Why do you think that is?

Titsalinabumsquash · 22/02/2017 20:04

My DO has never commented on my public hair one way or the other, I think he's just thrilled to be having sex . Grin

I'm sure your other half will get over it, sadly it's seen as 'normal' these days to have little or no pubes, not in these knickers though, I have so little time to deal with fanny rash or stubble

pimmsy · 22/02/2017 20:45

When you do trim the sides remember to keep the trimmings to put on his pillow, in his lunchbox, on his keyboard etc etc

Surreyblah · 22/02/2017 21:31

If removing pubes felt so great, more men would do it.

KERALA1 · 22/02/2017 21:46

Isn't it Caitlin Moran who has the simple test - are the men doing it? If not I'm not.

HelenaDove · 22/02/2017 22:00

Since some posters are comparing not shaving with gaining several stone in weight (a ridiculous comparison) I wonder how much the infections from hair removal are costing the NHS.
But since two PPs have brought up the subject of weight.....
We are only to willing to believe the NHS when they say what obesity is costing them.
But the NHS also advises that shaving down below is not recommended as it is more likely to cause infection and leads to a higher risk of STIs.

People will believe what suits them.

Original poster
Grindelwaldswand · 22/02/2017 22:39

Good news he realised he WBU and has apologied Grin he accepts than women grow up and get fed up of conforming to societies standards and being uncomfortable

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 22/02/2017 22:52

He fancies a shag then ?

Surreyblah · 22/02/2017 23:38

"Women grow up"?!

2rebecca · 22/02/2017 23:55

I just do my arpits. I occasionally do my legs in the summer but have pale hairs so don't think it's worth it, especially as I'm usually wearing hosiery as I get blisters if bare feet.
I had a couple of bikini waxes but it was really sore, and it felt horrible when it grew back and the hairs grew in a bit and gave me folliculitis. Not a sexy look. I love my bush. I had one when I met my husband though so if he wanted little girl pubes he could have found someone else.

CaraAspen · 23/02/2017 00:11

The little girl reference is wrong on so many levels.

BettyBaggins · 23/02/2017 00:20

What Cara said, come menopause onwards over half of us are going to have near bald fanjos anyway! (Did anyone else see the Daily Mail coverage of that mumsnet thread today? Grin ) Celebrate your bush whilst you still have! Pimmsy and Anyfucker, you funny!

Original poster
Grindelwaldswand · 23/02/2017 06:34

Well yes "grow up" might not be the right way to phrase it but i think every woman has an epiphany phase like i have where you realise your body image is built on societies expectations of women and you can actually choose to be different from that image and be happy with your body the way it is

OP posts:
Klaphat · 23/02/2017 16:35

While elderly women may often end up losing their pubic hair, I somehow doubt that's where the trend in porn, and subsequently the demand in wider society, has come from. Hmm

5OBalesofHay · 23/02/2017 19:26

Cheeky mare klaphat post menopause is not elderly.

AnUtterIdiot · 23/02/2017 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sallystyle · 23/02/2017 20:27

If my husband moaned about how I like my pubic hair he wouldn't be seeing my vulva. I have no time or respect for little boys.

I haven't shaved my armpits for a few weeks. DH doesn't comment, he still finds me attractive. My pubic hair is a mess due to my thyroid and losing half of it and I can't be arsed to shave/wax the rest.

I don't smell. I am clean.

Do what you want with your hair, just don't pretend your choices have nothing to do with societal expectations and current fashions.