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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so angry

132 replies

iluvshoes · 21/02/2017 07:22

OK my son is in bed I'll feeling sick and dizzy when he stands up. I went in to work yesterday and my mum covered. Need to take today off so called work. They've told me to leave him in bed and go in!?!

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 21/02/2017 07:23

How old is he
does he have a rash?

Ginmakesitallok · 21/02/2017 07:23

What age is he? 15? Not so bad. 2? Yanbu

omnishamblesssssssssssssss · 21/02/2017 07:23

Age?

HallowedMimic · 21/02/2017 07:25

If he's 13 ish, that should be fine.

Bluntness100 · 21/02/2017 07:27

Really this depends on the age, five no, fifteen yes.

Original poster

iluvshoes · 21/02/2017 07:28

So he's 13 but really not well and I don't think I'd want to leave him being honest

OP posts:

Ifailed · 21/02/2017 07:30

You know your son better than anyone else - is he likely to get up to something he shouldn't, or will he stay in bed? If the latter, go to work, but tell him you'll call/text during the day to see how he is.

StealthPolarBear · 21/02/2017 07:30

I get that. Tbh I can't blame your work for being annoyed either though. Is short term annual leave an option?

Trifleorbust · 21/02/2017 07:32

Just say you're unable to leave him. I might do (he is 13) but you don't have to.

HeCantBeSerious · 21/02/2017 07:34

You're not entitled to the day off. At best you may be entitled to a couple of hours' unpaid emergency leave to make arrangements.

Original poster

iluvshoes · 21/02/2017 07:37

I've got lots of holiday left and I'm sorry but as a single mum with no support I now feel really guilty about staying home to look after him .

OP posts:

ems137 · 21/02/2017 07:39

I wouldn't leave him for a full day tbh. Would your work compromise where you could go in for half a shift instead?

Trifleorbust · 21/02/2017 07:41

Don't feel guilty. PP are correct - you are not entitled to the time off. But they can't instruct you to go in. I believe they can give you a warning and withhold pay.

justbeinreal · 21/02/2017 07:43

A single mum with no support? You just said your mum was there yesterday
Agree with pp, taking the whole day off is probably overkill at 13, can you do a half day of some sorts to lessen the burden on your colleagues and your son is only alone a few hours

Skooba · 21/02/2017 07:46

There is always a teeny risk of meningitis or has he been vaccinated.

Stay til say 1pm, then if he is fine go in and leave him with a phone.
All day is too long.

Paninotogo · 21/02/2017 07:49

You do have support, you have your mum. Could you do a shorter day? What exactly would you being doing for a 13 year old if you stayed home?

HermioneJeanGranger · 21/02/2017 07:52

You don't need to stay off with a 13yo surely? Just ring him regularly and make sure he has a bucket and some water by the bed.

I'm not surprised work are pissed off.

Laiste · 21/02/2017 07:53

Since when can work tell you what to do with your children?

They can deal with your attendance level when you go back in but they cannot instruct you to leave your child alone.

Blackhouse · 21/02/2017 07:56

Op if you have persuaded them to let you have the day off then stay at home with him, especially if he was feeling dizzy. But take him to the doctor and get that checked out. A 13 year is fine to be left but it has to be thought through carefully and usually by the parent so the decision isn't for your work to make. I hope your son feels better soon.

harderandharder2breathe · 21/02/2017 07:57

You do have support! You have your mum who looked after him yesterday!

Normally at 13 I'd say leave him and phone regularly maybe get a neighbour to pop over occasionally. But with sickness and dizziness on standing I'd worry that he would faint on route to the loo or something and at worst knock himself out or best be frightened. So I'd be inclined to stay home if your mum can't stay with him.

But you'll probably have to take it as unpaid or annual leave if you can't afford to not be paid

unfortunateevents · 21/02/2017 07:58

How often does this happen?

Chillyegg · 21/02/2017 07:59

Im sorry but why is the op being made to feel shit. Her kids ill. Im a single mum and wouldnt leave dd alone at 13 with a vomiting bug. I think the problem hear is that work think that they are more important than the ops son. Quite frankly sometimes leave needs to be taken at work my colleagues have taken leave for a multitude of reasons and ive never grumbled because quite frankly its life and it happens.

OnionKnight · 21/02/2017 07:59

Your work cannot tell you what to do.

Euripidesralph · 21/02/2017 08:05

Whilst it's tough and I feel for you

I lost my sympathy with no support

I've got 2 under 5 with literally no support (I lie an unreliable Exdh ) no family near , no friends able to look after both ....I usually don't do the I've got it harder than you but in the nicest possible way suck it up

It's hard going but you have two choices ..... stay and have a hard time with work but front it out , or go in and yes deal with the guilt (handles are he will be fine make sure he can contact you or your famoly if he gets worse)

But please don't whinge about no support you have no idea

Blackhouse · 21/02/2017 08:05

Chillyegg I thought op is getting a hard time too, I feel bad for you op. Also she's probably is not lying about being a single mum... just because she had support from her mum one day it doesn't mean she has a lot of support.

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