To be so angry

[iluvshoes]

OK my son is in bed I'll feeling sick and dizzy when he stands up. I went in to work yesterday and my mum covered. Need to take today off so called work. They've told me to leave him in bed and go in!?!

Op- you are doing the right thing. I hope your son feels better soon. You don't need any extra guilt from work, it is difficult enough. Working mums end up feeling like crap for not being omnipresent, then suffer from stress.
Hecan'tbe serious- emergency care for older relatives, a sick spouse or children means you can take unpaid leave or use your paid holidays. We don't all live carefree lives.

I wouldn't leave him. He's ill. They sometimes revert to being as helpless as toddlers when they're like that. They need the comfort.

I didn't say strangers.

We lived away during the week for many many years. There are 22 houses in my street and at least 4 different sets of neighbours we couldn't ask for help in an emergency.

Your child, your responsibility but you don't have to make life so difficult for yourself.

take unpaid leave or use your paid holidays.

Only if your employer agrees. They may prefer to issue you with a P45 (and we know this isn't a one off for the OP).

Hecan'tbeserious- read the law instead of worrying a woman with a sick child! You are wrong! The OP is working in the modern World. Most people work now, we don't all live on the set of neighbours. You can't, and most responsible adults won't, dump their sick children on the local unemployed. There is no childcare for sick children, that is why the government brought these rules in. It is so that parents and carers don't get sacked when they need time off due to sick or disabled children, sick relatives or elderly relatives. They put no limit on it. The Op has had a few days off, as many parents and carers need to do in this situation. She doesn't need to be told she is going to be sacked for it! She has worked for this company for nearly 20 years. The government force carers and parents out into the workforce, this law is so that we have no excuse not to work. They know it is essential because very few people have extended family or neighbours that don't work.
OP- ACAS will give you advice if work give you any trouble. Please don't worry. I hope your son feels better soon.

They put no limits on it Really? I can't believe that. Employers must be very nervous employing people with children.

ThroughThickAndThin01

They are. Women coming back from mat leave often get treated like shit.

No limit because it depends on the situation. It isn't just children, it is all dependents. If a relative is in a car accident and in intensive care or we have a dying parent, I'm sure we would all be glad we don't have to leave them and go to work. It is flexible because life requires it. The lack of pay will limit most of us!

Hatemylifenow- Yes, I've been mistreated in work because I was pregnant. I worked for a woman who was nasty with any woman that got pregnant. I got out and changed job during mat leave. Although, she was also evil about any other disability or illness people might have. It was a sign of a bad employer.

I've spoken to my boss and agreed to take this week as paid holiday. My son is still really I'll but not being sick anymore which is good. Obviously she's not going to be happy but I'm not sure what else I can do. I fully expect to have the talk when i go back but being sacked hasn't really entered my thoughts. Its also not helped as lots of people have been off lately with the sickness bug but we've all covered for each other. I will have to face it on Monday as for now my priority is my son.

OP- she wouldn't have let you take it as paid holiday if she didn't understand, at some level, that you needed to. Some employers, when lots of staff are off, put pressure on at first and then back off and understand that it can't be helped. I hope that is the case. I'm glad you son is getting better.

Years ago the husband of a colleague was unwell with a sickness/dizzy virus. She went to work leaving him in bed. She found him that evening dead at the bottom of the stairs. He had broken his neck in the fall.

It was tragic - but imagine how she would have felt if that had been her child.

Actually, Asparagus, the law says the time off must be reasonable. That will differ from person to person and it would be for a court or tribunal to decide what was reasonable if the business and employee couldn't agree that between them. You can't just take unlimited time off because you want to for anyone you decide to consider a dependent.

If you're going to start shouting about "the law" it may be worth you making sure you understand it first.

(From a qualified senior HR professional of over a decade.)

Hecantbeserious- I studied the law before I became a scientist. I read the government and acas website, before commenting. A few days would be reasonable to any normal person, when a child is sick. I did suggest the OP contacted ACAS if she had problems. The OPs boss obviously agreed, eventually.
I know you are angry because people laughed at your mythical utopia, where neighbours all rally round and take over every task we find too difficult to complete, but don't take it out on me. Just bask in your utopia and carry on making mothers, with sick children, feel bad about a situation that they can't change and give them the worry of losing their job. You crack on being a wonderful person, who had the benefit of a different generation and situation, if it makes you feel better!
I could list my qualifications and experience, but it isn't ladylike to brag!

oh and good name change!

Hecantbeserious thank goodness you're not in the HR dept in my work or my oh's. I work for a small company and my oh for a large financial institution neither of us had ever been met with anything other than kindness and concern when having to take time off with our sick children and elderly relatives etc. I think as an employer or manager of people (or HR person) you have to have a balance with being a stickler for the rules and a little human kindness and empathy in order to have a positive, productive work force. That said I think we are lucky in that we work for good companies that treat their staff very well (which is how it should be). OP it sounds like you have had the best possible resolution in the circumstances, and you can concentrate on your boy while he needs you.

You crack on being a wonderful person, who had the benefit of a different generation and situation, if it makes you feel better!

Different generation?! I'm not 40 yet! And I have 2 children under 10.

Don't let your delusions confuse you so.

You don't sound very nice or empathetic, HeCant.

Luckily, my own HR Manager is.

I'm at a large financial institution now and absence such as this is hotly managed. I do have compassion - there are several people in posts that colleagues would have advised be sacked for minor misdemeanours. But there are some that take liberties.

I do mourn the loss of personal responsibility though. I was dismissing someone a few weeks back (for going AWOL without reason) who tried to tell me I couldn't fire her because she was getting married and she needed the overtime. WTF?

I'm at a large financial institution now

That explains a lot.

??????

Yeah. 8 weeks in I've shined 39 years of socialist ideals and become a capitalist nightmare. 😂

*shunned

You worked away for many many years and aren't 40 yet?

Glad, I'm now self employed with people like you around in charge of HR! A good union rep or barrister will give your company a good kick up the arse!
When I worked at a place with a bad employer the HR woman knew her stuff and was apologising and explaining that she knew the boss couldn't do what she was doing. She was a nice person though. You may understand when your children get older or you may dump them on anybody.