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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so angry

132 replies

iluvshoes · 21/02/2017 07:22

OK my son is in bed I'll feeling sick and dizzy when he stands up. I went in to work yesterday and my mum covered. Need to take today off so called work. They've told me to leave him in bed and go in!?!

OP posts:

elodie2000 · 21/02/2017 08:07

I wouldn't leave a 13 year old at home if they were sick & dizzy. I'd leave them with a cold or sore throat. Take the hit at work and stay off. They won't pay you that's all.

elodie2000 · 21/02/2017 08:11

As for support... Even with a DH, there are many women who are on their own when it comes to sick DC.
The single Mum thing is here nor there especially when Grandparents are near by.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 21/02/2017 08:12

Can your Mum not help today?

I wouldn't have left my 13 year old alone if they were feeling sick and dizzy either. Are your bosses usually accommodating or crap?

HermioneJeanGranger · 21/02/2017 08:12

No, work can't force her to leave her child at home but they can warn/discipline for too much absence.

I don't think she's getting a particularly hard time

Original poster

iluvshoes · 21/02/2017 08:18

@unfortunateevents. I've worked there 19 years and never take time off. They just don't do illness being honest. If I had a laptop I could work from home so there would b no need to take time off

OP posts:

Original poster

iluvshoes · 21/02/2017 08:21

@stillstayingclassysandiego They just don't like people being off I'll. There was a little run off it before Xmas and they are not very sympathetic at all.

OP posts:

OliviaBenson · 21/02/2017 08:37

Yes but you aren't ill yourself? Not many work settings would be that thrilled to be honest. Can your mum not help again?

WateryTart · 21/02/2017 08:38

I left mine after the age of 13 unless they were very ill.

Nabootique · 21/02/2017 08:43

If you will be using annual leave which you are entitled to take, why is this an issue for them? Will they be short staffed if you don't go in.

I wouldn't leave anyone who was dizzy personally. He can't stay in bed all day. He'll need the toilet at some point and then what if he faints or bangs his head?

helpmebuystuff · 21/02/2017 08:45

I don't know why people are saying he's a teenager so will be fine. Teenagers can get some horrid illnesses including meningitis.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 21/02/2017 08:47

They just don't like people being off ill

If you've called in "sick" when it's your son that's ill I'm not surprised they're pissed off tbh. It would be a disciplinary offence at many places of work, possibly gross misconduct.

helpmebuystuff · 21/02/2017 08:48

She hasn't called in sick, she's called in because her son is ill

Can't fucking stand jobsworths.

unfortunateevents · 21/02/2017 08:54

OP, you have posted before about being off with your son so it's not true that this is a one-off.

If you will be using annual leave which you are entitled to take, why is this an issue for them? - you are entitled to take annual leave but your employer can decide when you can take it so are quite within their rights to decline the OPs request to take today at AL, at this kind of notice. This should/could more properly be emergency leave to look after a dependant but that is supposed to be used reasonably to arrange alternative cover if necessary. The employer could take the view that as the OP's son was ill yesterday she has had time to make alternative arrangements (not saying that is right, by the way but they may well take that view).

FairNotFair · 21/02/2017 08:55

I wouldn't want to leave a 13yo if they were feeling dizzy and vomiting, TBH.

NoraDora · 21/02/2017 09:00

He's 13 not 3.

I'd try to go to work for some of the day. What would you actually do at home?

flumpybear · 21/02/2017 09:02

I'd pop to work and get a lap top then work from home
I wouldn't leave a sick young teen alone

helpmebuystuff · 21/02/2017 09:07

I really wish workplaces had more initiatives in place to cover sick dependants. I'm a PA and my boss doesn't mind a jot if I have to be at home to look after my ill child. I am set up to work from home - we all are.

diddl · 21/02/2017 09:08

The dizziness when standing would be the reason not to leave him for me.

I had this a bit ago & tbh it was scary.

Didn't dare get out of bed & wanted someone with me when I went to the bathroom.

bumblingbovine49 · 21/02/2017 09:08

I would never leave my child that ill at home tbh. When DS was 11 he had a high temperature . He was sitting next to me on the sofa seeming not too bad and had a seizure. It only lasted about 3-4 minutes but because I was next to him I saw it. He was hospitalised for several days with viral meningitis (though at the time they thought it could have been bacterial meningitis)

If he had been in bed or I had be downstairs or god forbid out of the house, I would never have noticed. He was incredibly sleepy for a couple of hours after, so it is entirely possible I would have just thought he was sleeping and not bothered him much. Also he had an altered mental state after he woke up, but again I only noticed that because he was talking to me, and I knew he was not right. The A&E staff had not noticed that. In fact they told me afterwards they rely on parents to say if a child is acting very much out of character as they don't know them. The altered state and seizure together were red flags for some incredibly serious illnesses , yet he seemed not too bad to a casual observer as he was sitting up and talking etc.

I used to be quite blase about illness and DS but that jolted me a bit and I would no never leave him if I felt he was too ill, whatever anyone said. I would suck up the work being annoyed with me and stay home with him. As everyone has said feeling dizzy could mean he might fall if he gets up to go to the loo. Also who will make sure he drinks and does not get dehydrated if he feels sick?

GinIsIn · 21/02/2017 09:20

Is there any reason your mum can't look after him again today? You say you never take time off but I think you had pretty much this thread running about 5 weeks ago so you can appreciate that it isn't ideal from your work's point of view.

user1477282676 · 21/02/2017 09:21

I got left alone with D and V once at that age and it was AWFUL. Mum didn't realise I was ill as she left early...I used to get up and go to school on my own.

I lay by the toilet all day with no drink and every time I was sick, the other end produced too....dreadful!

bunnylove99 · 21/02/2017 09:22

OP only you can make the call on how unwell he is. If you can't go in because you are worried you will just need to take a day off as annual leave. It seems odd your employer would object to this if you have been a good employee for so long. I hope you son us better soon.

NavyandWhite · 21/02/2017 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smurfit · 21/02/2017 09:27

This is so strange. Here (not U.K.) sick leave is able to be used by parents with sick kids as they're a dependant. I'm pretty sure I could use it for a sick dog too but can't back that up with evidence haha.

The boy might be 13 but he's still a kid. I remember being ill like that at about that age and having Mum there was a big deal. I lived in the middle of nowhere though with a SAHM so I was possibly less independent than others.

2ndSopranos · 21/02/2017 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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