To think its none of DH's business what time i go to bed?

[CherrySkull]

I have a particular hobby that can keep me up and online until late in the night as the people I do it with live mostly in the USA, so quite often the action doesn't start until 11pm and will go on through our Night.

I usually bail between 1 and 2am, but with it being Half Term and me not having to get up until i'm ready (the kids wake me to get breakfast then I go back to bed and leave them play) I stayed up until 4.30 the other night as there were a lot of us online and we were doing a group action.

DS is autistic and has taken to wandering around 1-2am so there is little point in me going to bed before then, I wait until he's resettled then I go to bed.

When I was up til 4.30, DH kept getting up to go pee and then he'd go "Come on its XXX, you need to get to bed" like some talking clock.

AIBU to tell him to piss off? I'm 35 years old, i'm a big girl, if I want to stay up until 4.30am, knowing I have to get up with the kids in the morning, surely that's my problem?

TBH, he's a bloody hypocrite, I forget the amount of times he's sat up til gone 5am pissing about on his playstation, the only time I ever got up to tell him to go to bed was when I knew he'd got work the next day, and all i'd say was 'keep an eye on the time, you have to be up at X" and then leave him to it!

*most
*I think
*just my opinion 😂😂

I've read it from the beginning staines and have stated that I don't think her Dh was unreasonable, can't speak for the others.

This is the thread i mentioned early. So many posters saying it's perfectly fine for a child to be alone whilst the parent has a lie in. You should invite them here!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2852858-To-be-furious-with-DDs-dad-my-ex-for-refusing-to-put-the-heating-on

Surely there's a pie chart facility by now so we can judge in a scientific manner exactly how U the poster is. But you'd have to take a comprehension test before you were allowed to click the button.

Sum
Back a while now, was off for a good while but thankfully havent seen anything as bad as this so far (maybe just been lucky) and hope I dont again...emphasis on the 'hope''

Aibu is full of arseholes today

What's another thread got to do with this one? It's never acceptable to call someone a c**. With you on that.
Why are opposite opinions sometimes taken as being goady or arseholey though?!
I'll never understand why people post for opinions and then throw their toys out of the pram when they don't hear what they want to hear!
If it's not for opinions, or not for advice, I'll say it again - what is the actual point of posting? OP asked AIBU. Renders the whole section utterly pointless if by opinions you only mean ones that "awww, course YANBU. There, there. Your DH is a bastard."

Indeed, glitter, and the getting up for breakfast comment was relevant to the AIBU, IMHO.

Sorry, YABU and cringey.

"Cherry, do you actually want or need advice about your sleeping pattern or ds's routine? I've had a good look but might have missed the post where you asked for it"

I did offer some advice about melatonin and sleeping. Purely as I know what it is like.

Maybe your new hobby should be trying to improve your well being and trying new things to help you sleep so you don't have to be gaming because you can't sleep properly or get to sleep easily. Believe me there's plenty of things could help you . Being up till 4.30am on a computer when you have children is ludicrous.

This is the thread i mentioned early. So many posters saying it's perfectly fine for a child to be alone whilst the parent has a lie in. You should invite them here!

FFS, that's a definite YABU as well. At the age of 10, why can't they make breakfast by themselves? He says he's left cereal for her to help herself.
Why does he have to get up at 7.30 to pour her a bowl of cereal?
My nearly 10 year old manages perfectly fine!
Lordy.

Well that exactly what I meant - people here are outraged at a 9 and 11 year old being awake alone but in the other thread it was exactly the opposite. Simple really

This thread has got some of the silliest responses I've ever read. I never knew there were so many people who cannot even imagine sleeping on their own for even an hour, with the success of their marriage based on having the same bedtime. Ridiculous! I feel sorry for you if your relationship is that insecure.

Many women sleep more lightly than men, and as OP said her husband only noticed she was up later than usual because he got up to use the loo. He is clearly not disturbed by her getting into bed so how could this possibly "have an impact on family life" etc. My husband goes to bed earlier than me most days, but he isn't lonely because shockingly, he is asleep. And he is never disturbed by me getting into bed either.

I am surprised that the OP is getting criticised for staying up late to give the best care to her autistic son. It's obviously better to go to bed early and ignore him when he wakes at 1-2am

She's also been criticised twice for not being a proper 24 a day hour carer which sort of implies she should never sleep😀

rackhampear;
ONCE she did it ONCE!

SHe got up with the kids made them breakfast then had an hours nap while they did their own thing.

Seriously ONE night to spend time with friends doing something she loves...

like I said aibu is full of arseholes today
Yes, and like I said - why are you suddenly an arsehole if you hold a differing opinion?

OP, my husband has a similar hobby.

When we decided to have kids we sat down and talked about how often he felt it was fair to stay up through the night and be below par the next day, how important the hobby was compared to family life etc. We agreed something like once a month he could stay online through the night....

Two kids and a current pregnancy later, he does his hobby less and less. But we both know when the family has more 'give' and the kids are older, him getting time to do it is important. The whole time we have talked about it as things have changed and he doesn't stay up late online without telling me he's going to - much like he wouldn't disappear on the piss without telling me he's going to.

To my mind it's a bit like the OHs who take the day out to go to a sporting event - yes of course you should get to relax, etc etc but the family must be told, and time out must be equally had. I think it's disrespectful otherwise.

TLDR: YANBU to stay up late doing your hobby every once in a while. YABU not to pre warn your DH.

Yes, Op...you are being cringey for not toeing your husband's line and participating in your own hobby...ffs!

Wow OP sorry you've had a bashing on here! You are not a bad or negligent parent. That being said in answer to the actual question. If I know my DH is up, I would probably keep telling him to come to bed, especially if I knew he had to be up early with the kids. But that's my issue if not being able to settle properly, not his

there's one where a mum didn't get her autistic 6 year old son out of a car to apologise for hitting the car next to them with his door as he wouldn't understand Op apologised instead and has just been called an entitled cunt

Aibu is full of arseholes today So what was this in reference to then if it wasn't to presumably lump opinions on here in with other threads and posters being arseholes?

dixienormas In other words - why are you saying MN is full of arseholes today and referring to other posts elsewhere when on this thread? Who are you alluding to? Who are the arseholes on this thread? The ones of the same opinion as the OP, or those who have an alternative opinion?