To think its none of DH's business what time i go to bed?

[CherrySkull]

I have a particular hobby that can keep me up and online until late in the night as the people I do it with live mostly in the USA, so quite often the action doesn't start until 11pm and will go on through our Night.

I usually bail between 1 and 2am, but with it being Half Term and me not having to get up until i'm ready (the kids wake me to get breakfast then I go back to bed and leave them play) I stayed up until 4.30 the other night as there were a lot of us online and we were doing a group action.

DS is autistic and has taken to wandering around 1-2am so there is little point in me going to bed before then, I wait until he's resettled then I go to bed.

When I was up til 4.30, DH kept getting up to go pee and then he'd go "Come on its XXX, you need to get to bed" like some talking clock.

AIBU to tell him to piss off? I'm 35 years old, i'm a big girl, if I want to stay up until 4.30am, knowing I have to get up with the kids in the morning, surely that's my problem?

TBH, he's a bloody hypocrite, I forget the amount of times he's sat up til gone 5am pissing about on his playstation, the only time I ever got up to tell him to go to bed was when I knew he'd got work the next day, and all i'd say was 'keep an eye on the time, you have to be up at X" and then leave him to it!

YABU obviously. If the kids aren't old enough to get their breakfast they are too young to be ignored until lunchtime.

Xp used to do this - he used to stay up until the late hours of the early morning, and it would fall upon me to get the children up and ready for school. Additionally, it would fall to me to deliver him a double-strength coffee with lots of sugar to enable him to get up and go to work.

He was a manchild.

Ask yourself these things?
In doing x activity, is it impeding on my ability to support my family?
Do my actions mean that more is required of my partner?
Does it affect my health?
If the answer is yes to any of those, then YABU, I'm afraid.

I get imsomnia, and I have in the past ended up playing games on my laptop in the early hours - I actually find now that I have to go no-screen from 10, and then I actually fall asleep. I understand that a lot of games are on US servers, but no game is worth detrimentally affecting your family life, and if it is, then you have a problem.

*insomnia, even.

It's the going back to bed while the children play that sounds so sad to me.
You paint a picture of a lonely life for your dh and kids.

i think that level of immersion in a game/the internet is a pretty poor example to be setting for children and if it was my partner I would not be very impressed. ¯(ツ)/¯

Oh, and OP, I have 2 ASD kids, so I know what the night-time waking is like. Yes, it's an arse, but the only thing we've found to help is to do it like you did when they were newborns - go to sleep when they're asleep, even if it means sleeping at 7pm.

Get yourself another hobby. It's clearly gaming.

If my OH was gaming so much at night they had to nap during the day I'd be massively pissed off.

I think you need to grow up and stop playing computer games all night and going back to bed leaving your kids unsupervised.

Gaming is not a hobby any more than MN is. A hobby is edifying.

unless they are late teens I suspect they are much younger. Nteeneagers would not be waking mum up to make them breakfast. Sad.

Leggit - in all fairness, it may be that her ASD child may be a teen and still need to ask for breakfast, but her behaviour is still U.

(the kids wake me to get breakfast then I go back to bed and leave them play) I stayed up until 4.30 the other night as there were a lot of us online and we were doing a group action
DS is autistic and has taken to wandering around 1-2am so there is little point in me going to bed before then

Why are you so worried about him wandering around at 1 or 2am, when you are happy to give him breakfast and then leave him unsupervised so you can sleep? You contradict yourself, to suit your own requirements there

YABU, yes. Your husband is probably as horrified as I am that your autistic child is left unsupervised so you can sleep after being up all night on a game. If the social services got hold of this info they would be all over you, and rightly so

Your husband works, whilst you sleep all day and neglect your kids, yes I don't blame him for being pissed off

Start acting like the grown up you are, you are not a teenage boy sitting in your bedroom you have responsibilities and your family deserve better than being second best to a fucking game

You are addicted, seek help before it destroys your family

Gaming is not a hobby any more than MN is. A hobby is edifying

I disagree with the OP, but this makes no sense whatsoever.

I think you should sleep whilst your family sleeps. Not gaming and sleeping when they are awake. It doesn't set a very good example to your children. It must be quite lonely for your husband too.

yes this seems to have crossed the line into obsession/addiction, you need to have a think about it if you're letting your kids roam about unattended in the day because you're so tired. YABU.

I'm betting it's Warcraft. I love a bit of Warcraft, but if it's impacting your ability to parent, which it clearly is, AND is leaving your partner feeling and presumably lonely quite so regularly that it must also be impacting on your relationship, then you need to step back a bit. If you don't work and are at home during the day, can you not find a group of people in Europe to play with?

I'm about to go and play a bit of Skyrim before the school run, so I'm not judging the activity in the slightest, but whether your hobby is deworming homeless kittens, learning Sanskrit or playing WoW til the wee hours, anything that you are overdoing to this extent needs to be curbed or readjusted substantially.

YABU.

It's a one off, unless you do it all the time then he's being unreasonable.

I disagree with the OP, but this makes no sense whatsoever.

It does to me.

That's a pretty selfish hobby OP. Particularly leaving your kids alone so you can catch up on sleep.

YABU. You talk about it as though it's normal to stay up till 4.30am, get up to make breakfast and then go back to bed leaving the kids to entertain themselves. It's not fair to them, it sets an awful example, and it's not normal.

I love warcraft but i cant play it with baby . She needs my attention not WoW . P.s its how i got to know her dad.

Coming home from the pub/ nightout 4 or 5 times a year at 5am isn't the same as staying up every night / sleeping every day because of a game!

You are ignoring your home life i.e husband and children for a gaming world? I think you have a problem TBH OP.

Your DH actually sounds like he was commenting mildly

You are a grown woman you are right, but your a mum and a wife which means you have responsibilities also. Sleeping when your family are awake and spending all night in a virtual world doesn't sound like your stepping up to them.

I am curious to know what you call a hobby, with such a limited definition MuseumOfCurry

Gaming is not a hobby any more than MN is. A hobby is edifying

Oh do behave, snob.

She's staying up til 4.30 because it's half term, it's not a regular thing if I'm reading the OP correctly.

I do think going back to bed and leaving the children unsupervised and alone after breakfast is pretty crap parenting especially as it's related to being knackered through gaming.