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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think its none of DH's business what time i go to bed?

388 replies

CherrySkull · 20/02/2017 13:23

I have a particular hobby that can keep me up and online until late in the night as the people I do it with live mostly in the USA, so quite often the action doesn't start until 11pm and will go on through our Night.

I usually bail between 1 and 2am, but with it being Half Term and me not having to get up until i'm ready (the kids wake me to get breakfast then I go back to bed and leave them play) I stayed up until 4.30 the other night as there were a lot of us online and we were doing a group action.

DS is autistic and has taken to wandering around 1-2am so there is little point in me going to bed before then, I wait until he's resettled then I go to bed.

When I was up til 4.30, DH kept getting up to go pee and then he'd go "Come on its XXX, you need to get to bed" like some talking clock.

AIBU to tell him to piss off? I'm 35 years old, i'm a big girl, if I want to stay up until 4.30am, knowing I have to get up with the kids in the morning, surely that's my problem?

TBH, he's a bloody hypocrite, I forget the amount of times he's sat up til gone 5am pissing about on his playstation, the only time I ever got up to tell him to go to bed was when I knew he'd got work the next day, and all i'd say was 'keep an eye on the time, you have to be up at X" and then leave him to it!

OP posts:
4ggggggggggggggggggggggggggyyy · 20/02/2017 13:25

Do you work?

golfbuggy · 20/02/2017 13:28

How old are the DC? If fairly small, I think going back to bed for a nap and leaving them to their own devices is pretty poor tbh.

But then if they are old enough to be left to their own devices, they would be old enough to get their own breakfast ...

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 20/02/2017 13:29

I would find it unsettling tbh.

Although if he's doing it as well, he's not really in a position to criticise.

Grilledaubergines · 20/02/2017 13:30

Do you think he might just be concerned about you getting enough rest?

AprilLudgate30 · 20/02/2017 13:32

I don't think it's okay to go back to bed because you've been up online all night. Presumably if they are young enough to need you to do breakfast, you should be up with them?

It isn't a wonderful example to leave the kids to their own devices and go back to bed because you've been online all night.

ditavonteesed · 20/02/2017 13:32

I would find it a bit odd and slightly chaotic to be up all night and resting when the kids are up, is spending time with the children not more important that your hobby?

brummiesue · 20/02/2017 13:33

You two seem to spend a lot of time on the computer....how old are your children? And do you work?

TheNaze73 · 20/02/2017 13:34

Do you work?

MuseumOfCurry · 20/02/2017 13:34

YABU.

Whatsername17 · 20/02/2017 13:35

I can see both sides. Yes you are entitled to go to bed when you want. But, if my husband constantly went to bed much later than me I'd find it really lonely.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 20/02/2017 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Badhairday1001 · 20/02/2017 13:35

I think it's a pretty strange way to live tbh. I work so couldn't do this and during half term I like to spend time with my kids. Unless they are teenagers who don't want parental attention I would say they need their mum to be up and awake. If your only going to bed at 4:30am what time are you getting up in the morning? It's obviously fine as a one off, everyone needs a life but I don't think it's ok to do it regularly. Are you playing some kind of game online?

4ggggggggggggggggggggggggggyyy · 20/02/2017 13:36

I think most people would be unimpressed with a snoring parent while children roam around unsupervised truthfully.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 20/02/2017 13:36

I do like dh come to bed along with me and dd sometimes as otherwise we'd be passing ships with work etc.

How you get up to work if you stay up until 4:30am I'd be dead on my feet all day even if I didn't work tbh

Iamastonished · 20/02/2017 13:36

Perhaps you should sleep in separate bedrooms?

Leggit · 20/02/2017 13:37

You leave your autistic DS unsupervised and go back o bed after breakfast Confused

How come there is no point going to bed if he is wandering about at 1/2am but it's acceptable to go back after he has had his breakfast Hmm

Eolian · 20/02/2017 13:37

Sounds like none of you are getting enough sleep tbh, not very healthy. Neither dh nor I would be happy with the other one being up really late tbh because whoever had gone to bed earlier (and the children) would get woken up by the other one wandering about or going to bed. It would absolutely do my head in tbh. Everyone's in bed by 10.30 here!

EggsEleven · 20/02/2017 13:37

I think fecking off back to bed after breakfast and leaving the kids to entertain themselves during half term is a bit shit to be honest unless they are late teens. What age are your DCs?

notMarlene · 20/02/2017 13:37

Is the hobby WoW? I've seen it have a massively destructive impact on several families. No idea why that should be.

Grilledaubergines · 20/02/2017 13:38

What is it that you're doing online, gambling?

OuchLegoHurts · 20/02/2017 13:38

It would drive me absolutely crazy if my husband did that. I think it's awful that you stay up online until that hour, there's no way I'd be able to sleep not knowing when you were going to get into the bed. I also think it's unhealthy and that you should be setting a better example for your kids. Have you got a good relationship with your husband or are you trying to avoid him?

SumThucker · 20/02/2017 13:38

I find it ridiculous you stay up till the early hours doing a hobby, then have to be woken by your children for breakfast, and then fuck off back to bed Hmm

QueenLaBeefah · 20/02/2017 13:40

I think your DH has a point.

bulletjournal · 20/02/2017 13:40

YABU because of the kids.

If the kids need you for breakfast, they need you during the day. It would be uncomfortable if you were up all night to earn a living, but just for a hobby?
It's not right.

EggsEleven · 20/02/2017 13:40

You're behaving like a 16 year old teenage boy rather than a 35 yr old mother, OP. It would piss me off if I were your DH.

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