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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what it felt like to hold your baby for the first time?

200 replies

KeplerYellow · 18/02/2017 08:20

I'm currently pregnant with my first child and wondering what it will be like when he/she is finally here. I know everyone is different, it would just be nice to hear your stories.

OP posts:

OhhBetty · 18/02/2017 08:22

I felt overwhelmed and consumed with love. I couldn't stop crying because I was so happy. Almost indescribable. I wish I could have bottled that feeling! However, I was the only one of my friends who cried or felt like that!

LostSight · 18/02/2017 08:25

I felt that way too OhhBetty. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 18/02/2017 08:25

The actual greatest feeling on Earth. So warm and and tiny and just so, so wonderful. I'm getting tingles just thinking about it.

MrsMeeseeks · 18/02/2017 08:26

I felt numb, confused and exhausted.

I think the expectation
that you will instantly feel a huge rush of love can be damaging and cause mothers who don't experience that to feel inadequate and guilty.

Somehowsomewhere · 18/02/2017 08:27

Knackered.

Blackbirdonawire · 18/02/2017 08:28

I think everyone's different. Once my son was born (emergency section) I didn't want to hold him and just asked my husband to hold him for the first while. A few hours later they lay him next to me to feed him but didn't/couldn't pick him up. My family came to visit and they held him and someone passed him to me so I held him! I felt vaguely happy but was mostly pleased to see my mum

We have an amazing close relationship now with thousands of cuddles so it didn't make any difference, but it would be nice to have the kind of lovely experience PP did.

Flanderspigeonmurderer · 18/02/2017 08:28

Surreal. I couldn't quite believe that this baby on me was MY baby.
I love him more than anything in the world now though.

WhatwouldRuthdo · 18/02/2017 08:29

I felt pretty detached. I'd been in labour for 3 days and was still vomiting and shaking from too much gas and air. I would say it took me about 6-8 weeks to bond with him properly. Now of course he's the best thing ever of course. Not saying this to be a downer, but to present an alternative which could happen, and does happen in some cases. You may get that immediate rush of love, but it's also ok if you don't.

HeyYouYesYou · 18/02/2017 08:29

I don't remember. Knackered and stressed (and traumatised, sorry).

I thought he was very nice, but the love came later.

SmellySphinx · 18/02/2017 08:29

It's really weird! Gave her a kiss on the lips and said she looks like an alien

timetomoveon · 18/02/2017 08:29

With ds1 I felt nothing. I just wanted the nurse to take him and look after him. I'd had a traumatic birth and recovery and didn't see him or hold him until he was 10 days old.
With ds2 it was wonderful. I was nervous but it was just like breathing really deeply, relaxing and breathing out. It was like it was meant to be.

It might be the most wonderful moment of your life or it might not. Even if it's not, there will be other moments when you feel the deep love for your child.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 18/02/2017 08:29

With both of mine the overwhelming feeling was relief. Neither of them gave me an easy time on delivery!
It is a good feeling to hold them for the first time. Scary, but good.
Don't beat yourself up if you don't feel exactly like you think you should.

Bluntness100 · 18/02/2017 08:30

I was on the operating table heamorraghing. With a very large team of docs and nurses. Couldn't understand why they laid her on me at the time, and felt only huge concern that she would roll off me. I actually wanted them to take her off me and just hold her so I could look at her, but didn't say it, I was fairly traumatised by what was going on and having my new born lying on my chest scared me.

HeyYouYesYou · 18/02/2017 08:30

BTW the Daily Mail is a shitty rag. Look out, they love this stuff. 'New mums admit to not loving their babies'

Xmasbaby11 · 18/02/2017 08:30

Didn't feel much. It was a horrible labour. Didn't get a rush of love or anything - not til later.

Childbirth is hugely romanticised imo. Many friends had awful labours and were left traumatised with health problems that overshadowed the joy of the baby.

Whatasmashingpumpkin · 18/02/2017 08:31

I know this will sound a bit cold but I was just so so relieved she was ok after a really long and exhausting induction for both of us, the relief she was ok was all I felt at first. I'll be honest - I didn't get an instant rush of love until after the midwife had stopped sorting me out/delivered after birth and it was just me, DH and DD in the room then it suddenly hit me and the realisation she was finally here and in my arms, and that's when the good stuff came! It's like no other feeling, you can't quite believe this beautiful, warm and wriggly little baby belongs to you and you made her/him! I'm doing it all again in May, can't wait

YouMeddlingKids · 18/02/2017 08:31

I can't really remember it, he'd been poorly in nicu for a couple of days and I'd had an emcs. I think I was relieved that we were both still alive but other than that just a bit numb. This wasn't the onset of pnd or anything, and the next time I held him when I was feeling a bit better was nicer. I agree it's best not to expect it to be the most amazing experience of your life, it's fine if it isn't!

Somehowsomewhere · 18/02/2017 08:32

Relief was a big one, especially with DD1 (48 hours in labour with no pain relief). Don't think I could have done much more.

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 18/02/2017 08:33

Feelings: exhaustion/ relief.
Thoughts: 'oh god it's actually a tiny human'/ 'gosh he looks just like DH'/ what have they done to his face?!' (forceps) / 'meh - sleep now'.

I hadn't slept for three days at that point so only held him for about five minutes before I passed out... Didn't get a rush of love or anything but I think I was just too tired to feel much!

He's 2.5 now though, in bed next to me watching cbeebies on the ipad and licking his own snot and I now inexplicably feel a rush of love every time I look at him . Aiming to be less knackered for the arrival of DC2 this July! When are you due?

Runningbutnotscared · 18/02/2017 08:33

^ what Mrs Meeseeks says

Tinkerbec · 18/02/2017 08:34

Totall Knackered and a bit meh

The next day after a sleep when I woke up and I remembered that I had a baby it was like Christmas as a child times a thousand.

treaclesoda · 18/02/2017 08:34

I've had two. The first birth was very traumatic and I felt very emotional, but more in a terrified way than a huge rush of love.

The second was much calmer and I just felt overwhelmed in a good way.

Lots of people don't feel an overwhelming rush of love, and it is fine, it's not abnormal and doesn't mean there is something wrong with you as a mother, so don't put too much pressure on yourself.

LuchiMangsho · 18/02/2017 08:34

First one. Normal pregnancy. Planned section because of placenta previa. All calm. I was...confused. I don't think I felt love. Pride at what my body had made. But not overwhelming love.

Son no 2. Repeated hospitalisation during pregnancy. Crash section at 26 weeks. In NICU for 4 days before we were allowed to hold him with a CPAP mask on. Proper proper rush of love. Also hours after he was born in the incubator he was lying exhausted with wires in him, tired from being poked and prodded. I limped up to NICU to see me. He heard my voice and gave a piercing cry and tried to crawl in the direction of my voice. I still cry when I think of that. That he knew his Mummy instantly.

Getsomesleep · 18/02/2017 08:34

Orrr, wish I could go back, sooo lovely.... until I needed to sleep when I just wished I could pop her back in my tummy to keep her safe whilst I rested - very strange feeling. It seemed so wrong to put her down in a crib!

Runningbutnotscared · 18/02/2017 08:35

And 'my god, this is the best toast I've ever eaten'

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