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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what it felt like to hold your baby for the first time?

200 replies

KeplerYellow · 18/02/2017 08:20

I'm currently pregnant with my first child and wondering what it will be like when he/she is finally here. I know everyone is different, it would just be nice to hear your stories.

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 18/02/2017 11:37

Mostly just relieved that the labour was over and that baby was here, safe and healthy.

NavyandWhite · 18/02/2017 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tweedledee3Tweedledum · 18/02/2017 11:56

Overwhelming joy. I instantly began telling him how I loved him. I was so relieved he was now here. Pure joy.

DoIDareDisturbTheUniverse · 18/02/2017 11:59

Very overwhelmed, I didn't get that immediate rush of love I'd been expecting. I was a bit like 'oh this is my baby' and felt happy but nothing too spectacular, if that makes sense. He was born in the evening and we were moved to the postnatal ward about 11 pm. It was then that I got that rush of love - I have very lovely memories of holding him on that dimly lit, quiet bay (it was just us and one other mum and her baby) in the early hours of the morning, just sitting and holding and staring at him and getting this huge, overwhelming wave of love pouring over me.

HeyRoly · 18/02/2017 12:05

I felt numb, blank and traumatised the first time. That persisted for ages. Feeling of love and joy took months to arrive.

Second time around was different, but still not exactly overwhelming love.

What struck me with both my children was that they were little strangers. I didn't know them, and so it felt kind of surreal that they had to come and live with me and I was responsible for them.

Lules · 18/02/2017 12:06

I have absolutely no memory of it at all. I would have sworn I didn't hold him in theatre (EMCS) apart from I recently came across a photo showing that I did. I wonder how common that is?

Jaagojaago · 18/02/2017 12:20

Exhausted. Matter of fact. Proud of myself. No gushing rushing anything.

Original poster
KeplerYellow · 18/02/2017 14:01

Thanks for all the responses, it's been a great insight into what's to come. Also it's reassuring to know that even if I don't get that instant rush of love it will develop!

OP posts:
Notso · 18/02/2017 14:37

Complete euphoria with the first three, just the best feeling ever.

I was in shock after DC4 and didn't properly hold or feed him for hours after birth. When I finally held him I was surprised at how small he was, I was told he would be over 10lb. He was 8.4 and how much hair he had. He is 4 now still has loads of hair and I love him to bits.

Kikikaakaa · 18/02/2017 14:39

I cried but was also scared to hold such a tiny thing

thenewaveragebear1983 · 18/02/2017 14:43

Lules perhaps you didn't- there's a photo taken by the midwife of my ds and me immediately post c-s and it looks like I'm holding him but he was actually just rested near me with someone else holding him. They put him cheek to cheek against my face but in the picture it looks like I'm the one holding him which I know didn't happen because I was pretty out of it.

Chelazla · 18/02/2017 14:48

With my dd after 6 years of ttc she had gunk in her throat so she was whisked of to be sorted for the first few mins. when I held her I felt instant love and relief. I was so emotional! It was amazing. With my dd he came out and they put him straight on me I was shocked daft as it sounds!!!My dd had been clean and in a towel while he was caked in blood and gunk. Truth be told it really put me about. It was all over my arms had gotten on my face. I really had a quite easy birth no drugs wasn't overly tired so no excuse for the relation. But I remember really just wanting to wipe all the crap of him and me. I'm not even precious but it really put me about. I feel really bad about it now but I genuinely couldn't help it. Even now I remember being so uncomfortable and asking dh do u want a hold and midwife saying not yet!!!

Hidingtonothing · 18/02/2017 14:52

I had a traumatic delivery and was in surgery for an hour afterwards. The MW did try to put DD on my chest straight after birth but I was in shock and refused. DH had her for the first hour and then gave her to me when I came back from surgery. I was a bit more 'with it' by then and I did get that instant rush of love, just an hour late! I felt guilty for ages that I turned down that first chance to hold her but I can see now that I was in shock and that it didn't matter. She had her daddy for that first hour and I soon made up for it, I barely put her down once we got home Grin

Silvercatowner · 18/02/2017 14:52

Exhausted and very relieved. I didn't have that 'rush of love' that people describe. Both times my OH gave them their first proper cuddles. What I did feel, especially with the first, was a huge sense that life had changed and would never be as it had been. Actually it was a million times better, but it did take a few months for that to become obvious to me.

Peachesandcream15 · 18/02/2017 16:45

Overwhelmed, a bit spaced out, shaky, - it all happened quite quickly.

DianaMemorialJam · 18/02/2017 16:47

The second one was very slimey

user1471453601 · 18/02/2017 16:51

I don't remember holding her, but, 47 years later, I remember the doctor sowing me up telling me to look at her, not at what he was doing.

I felt that she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. 47 years later, she still is. Love at first sight

MothersRuinart · 18/02/2017 16:56

Nothing massively emotional, more just glad he and I both made it through labour and also just a feeling of recognition. In a way of 'yep, that's my baby '. Tbh I was happy to have him handed over to dh almost immediately. Still had stitching to look forward to.... And knowing that I'd be spending the first night alone with the baby so was feeling a bit anxious, excited, vulnerable, helpless but also just looking forward to starting life with ds.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 18/02/2017 16:58

Knackered, relieved, happy and slightly off my tits still on gas and air Grin

Congratulations Kepler Thanks

n0ne · 18/02/2017 17:04

I remember being relieved it was over, and stunned that there was suddenly this person there that wasn't there before, who had a face that I recognised. No sudden rush of love here, was too traumatised, I think. Kind of numb. But definitely in awe of this little creature.

user1483016137 · 18/02/2017 17:45

I had an EMCS under GA

When I was being taken so see her I just wanted to get her away from me, I did NOT want to meet her. When I held her unfortunately I felt nothing, except the pain I was in, and I wasn't interested at all. Then it hit me that she was actually here and I had slept through it and I was just so devastated, I knew I couldn't get that time back.

AliTheMinx · 18/02/2017 17:45

I had a very long, traumatic birth with an assisted delivery because my baby was in distress. It was very frightening and lots of people were in the room in case he was struggling when he came out. I was very tired and emotional and ultimately scared. When he finally was born he was absolutely fine - no-one could quite believe it! They put him straight on my chest and I was a bit stunned at first. I think it was mainly shock that he was actually alive and ok (and fear at the doctor's discussing my 'serious tear'!). He let out a big cry and then I felt a wave of love for my little man. My DH then held him and it was lovely to witness those lovely precious moments, although I was exhausted and also highly gas and air! He was covered in meconium though and I wished they had cleaned him up a little first (but then I am a bit OCD!). Good luck with your impending arrival - hope all goes really well xxx

ocelot41 · 18/02/2017 17:54

Very little. I was exhausted after a very long labour. Love can come in gradually - and that's OK too.

RochelleGoyle · 18/02/2017 18:13

I felt shocked that he was finally here following quite a difficult labour. I was also bewildered and spaced out from all the pain relief drugs!

10storeylovesong · 18/02/2017 18:36

My ds was born at 27 weeks and rushed straight to NICU while I went in for surgery so I didn't even know whether he was alive for 6 hours. I got to hold him for the first time for 20 minutes on Valentine's Day when he was 5 days old. It was the most incredible feeling. I never wanted to let him go.