To ask what it felt like to hold your baby for the first time?

[KeplerYellow]

I'm currently pregnant with my first child and wondering what it will be like when he/she is finally here. I know everyone is different, it would just be nice to hear your stories.

[BingBongBingBong]

Oh and both times I remember being very awestruck - my body made and carried these tiny babies! (I didn't expect either to be so tiny at just under 6lbs!)

[Purplebluebird]

I felt horrible, barely conscious and exhausted from 37 hours in labour (never thought it would last that long). The only thing I remember was saying "oh, he's so slippery". Then I passed out.

[bookworm14]

It was initially just surreal - I found it bizarre that there was suddenly this new person in the room who had been inside me seconds earlier. To be brutally honest I didn't properly feel that rush of love for a good few months - I think my bonding was affected by sleep deprivation. Once the love hit, though, it hit hard!

[Foslady]

Thank you for starting this thread. I didn't really feel anything, just the thought of 'oh my God I have to keep you alive and I kill pot plants'! She was a very wanted child, but I think the pethadine and exhaustion along with me struggling to cope with the way how my body was changing throughout pregnancy ended up with this kind of reaction. I don't know if I ever got the 'rush of love' thing either - I knew I loved her, but there was never a big realisation, I just did.
I also had bad PND and an unsupportive partner.
She's now in her teens and I can honestly say that we have the best daughter and mother relationship ever, so if you end up feeling like I did please don't worry or panic, please don't worry for the future- all of which I did, it's ok, we all have different ways of viewing experience

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Traumatised by the birth of dd. Ambulanced to hospital as home birth failed. Exhausted, forceps. Wasn't interested in her for about an hour due to exhaustion. Then (breast)fed and had her in my arms. Amazing feeling. Couldn't sleep. The warmth. The love. The midwives in that room were wonderful. Awful on the ward. I stayed in the birthing room for over 4 hours as unable to move. Couldn't wait to leave. Took her home and neither dh or I could take our eyes off her.

[SheilaTakeABow]

First one, exhausted and terrified. Second one, overwhelmed with love and relief, like the final part of life had slotted into place. I still feel bad about the disparity

[SuffyBummers]

Relief and exhilaration that it was over and I'd done it! Like the feeling after a big meeting at work is over x 1 million. Then awe that I'd produced a perfect human. But the love came later. Good luck!

[BeyondThePage]

exhausted - had an EMCS for undiagnosed breech, alongside a chest infection - that was fun - coughing relentlessly, with stitches.

[Blackfellpony]

I can't really remember much about it

[Bumpsadaisie]

I had three day induction and forceps. By the time dd was born I was very very tired. But I did feel lots of good things, mainly relief that it was all over, pride that I'd done it after so many months, surprise at how blond and pink she was, and lots of warm feelings ( though I wasn't sobbing with overwhelming love!).

It was a little like seeing the face of someone you've known for a long time but never seen. Weird. You've been together 9 mths but you don't know what they look like.

With DS it was a shorter birth with no intervention. My immediate feeling was "thank god that is over", so proud and happy, and so proud of my big bouncing boy. That's a cliche but he was huge and I was so excited to have a boy as I'd had a girl first. I remember thinking wow a willy!

[MetalMidget]

Overwhelmed, overjoyed and more than a bit shell-shocked - he came rather quicker than I was expecting (less than four hours from first contraction!).

I remember feeling incredibly lucky - I'd had a relatively quick and 'easy' labour (I'd been terrified of complications), I had a beautiful healthy baby, and it had all happened overnight, so we didn't have to leave our dog alone for too long!

[OneLumpOrSeven]

Exhausted. I haemorrhaged after both of them so didn't get to hold them for a while. It was all a bit traumatic. I felt like I'd been hit by a bus for quite a long time. I adore the absolute bones of them but that wasn't instant as I was too shocked.

[Lucy7400]

I just thought how ugly DS was . He's gorgeous now.

DD lifted her head from my chest and I remeber thinking I didnt know newborns could do that.

I think we had our moment later when alone.I remember holding both and them looking into my eyes. That was after the birth and stitches etc.

[CheeseAndBeans]

Relief mainly with with my first. DD1 was a traumatic forceps delivery in theatre, I had been in labour for 2 days. With DD2 it was straight forward and I pushed her out myself. I was so relieved and felt bloody proud. With both I had an over whelming sense of love, but also fear, I kept asking if they were ok.

[Laurah1979]

Quite detached after a long labour. The baby was a stranger to me for the first couple of days...then suddenly a huge rush of love!

[SmellySphinx]

Oh with my 2nd it was more like auto pilot for the first few hours. I knew obviously she was mine, looked after her cuddled etc...it was just really weird (again, but not like the first time) I didn't 'feel' anything. Was probably shock :)

I was left in a bloody bed for 6 hours with nobody to check on me other than a woman who came in the room for a machine. She asked why I was still there, why I hadn't rang the buzzer, why had nobody come in to change the bed, asked if I was hungry and brought me a cheese sandwich!

Had my own room with my first and was attended to and looked after straight away.

[Marley45]

Best feeling in the world. It was only a week ago and the emotion I felt when my son was placed on me was incredible. Both DH and I cried. An instant rush of love and happiness after a v long fertility journey to get pregnant and a, scary at times, labour.

[eurochick]

Terrified. She was so tiny and hooked up to all these tubes and monitors (prem). Then I tried to syringe feed her colostrum and she set all the alarms off. I decided to put her back in the incubator and gaze adoringly instead.

[dementedma]

Nothing really with DC,1 after GA and emergency CS. That one ended up with severe PND.

Thought dd2 was cute but mostly relief it was over.
Dc3 looked funny and all frowny so I remember smiling and being surprised to have a boy after the two girls.

[Rugbyplayersarehot]

I think the protectiveness is easy to feel but for some love just creeps up on you. I used to feel terribly guilty that there was no great love rush with dc1 but fuck that feeling he's now 28 and s fantastic dad himself and I adore him as much as his siblings.

Feel what you feel and don't worry.

[Skinnydecafflatte]

Wow, you lot have made me feel a lot better, I opened this thread thinking everyone was going to mention a huge wave of love and all fluffy stuff. I can't really remember but I think it was more confusion and exhaustion, I, so glad that most other felt the same way, nobody usually mentions it and you feel a crap mother for not having this instant love.

[Upyourdaisy]

LuchiMangsho you made my eyes leak!
😭

[smartiecake]

Overwhelming relief that the long labours were over. I was also very shocked at a baby coming out of me, even though I knew they would they actual feeling was weird, if that makes sense.
I remember talking to them and saying hello I'm your mummy, etc and I remember DH crying but I was so knackered and exhausted I was a zombie at that point I don't remember much. DH held DC1 for hours while they had to sort me out. I couldn't move or stand up and the placenta didn't come away, and I remember how much the stitches hurt.
I think DH had the joyful holding baby in your arms bit while i was being prodded and poked.

[Mummamayhem]

My 1st felt overwhelmingly familiar, it was just like oh yeah here she is. Lovely and snuggly. My 2nd was awful, he was attached to cord for a long time so I couldn't really hold him, he was just laying on my knees. I was in shock and have little memory of even looking at him.

[UnexplainedOnHerCollar]

I think a big factor is what state you are in yourself. You may not be the person you are normally, when you've been given a lot of drugs, had emergency surgery, been awake for 30 hours or be recovering from anaesthetic (or a combination of this) and you may just be too exhausted and confused to enjoy the moment.

With DS I don't actually remember the first time I held him as such I remember them showing him to me briefly over the c-section screen, then taking him away to clear his nose and wrap him up while I was stitched up. Then I was semi-conscious on a bed and they laid him next to me and I kind of snuggled up to him. It wasn't until 3 days later in the middle of the night that I had that special moment where I could hold him and really experience the love and bonding with a clear head, IYSWIM.

With DD it was similar but when they showed me her over the screen and said it's a girl I felt a kind of gasp of wonder as I had hoped for a girl and a boy and I couldn't believe it. But it took even longer for the "rush of love" moment – 5 weeks. It turned out I had PND that time.

If that first cuddle doesn't go as you imagined it doesn't matter - there are so many variables. And so many more loving hugs to come!