To ask what it felt like to hold your baby for the first time?

[KeplerYellow]

I'm currently pregnant with my first child and wondering what it will be like when he/she is finally here. I know everyone is different, it would just be nice to hear your stories.

I got the whole rush of love thing. I wasn't really expecting to as I'm not very soppy in general and have never gravitated towards other people's children.
But the moment they laid her on my chest I was filled with the most amazing feeling, and it's only got better in the days weeks and months that followed. She is two months old now and I have never known a love like it.
I don't know if it depends on your experience during birth. I had a planned C-section due to some medical issues. We were very lucky and it was very straightforward.

relieved it was over. and shocked, really shocked this little person had arrived into the world

Don't remember with dc1. I was traumatised and haemorrhaging after a crash cs and only remember brief flashes. With dc2 I was overwhelmed and exhausted after another emcs and feeling surreal because I was having flashbacks to dc1.

Relief!

I had that rush of love with DD when she was a few days old. With DS it took months and was a slow burn.

Hmm. My Dts were quite premature so tbh I was just worried about the tubes and wires and just how little they were. It was quite overwhelming really. I didn't get to hold dt2 for quite a while because he had a lot of breathing problems and had to be on his left side.

I knew I loved them, but I didn't get a rush of love till quite a while after.
I get them all he time now, when they're asleep or say something cute.

I have 2 DDs. I never got the 'rush of love' after labour, it took me time to bond with each of them. Both of my labours progressed quickly and were very intense (first baby only made the delivery suite with 10 mins to spare, second baby was born before ever making the delivery suite at all). To progress as quickly as I did my contractions were basically constant and very painful. So afterwards it was mostly a sense of relief and gratitude that it was over, mixed with a bit of shock. After DD1 in particular I was in so much shock I basically just lay in bed shaking for an hour after she was born.

I think that these feelings can be hugely affected by the labour. If you've had a long and traumatic labour you've probably been through roller coaster of emotions - unbearable pain, terror, fear and shock that it wasn't the experience that you had expected. Trying to process what you've been through emotionally and physically while also meeting your child for the first time is not going to be the same for everyone. All I would say OP is be kind to yourself, give it time and don't be upset if it's not all a love bubble like the movies.

I have 2 children and 2 very different experiences.

With DD, who is now 3.5, I had a terribly bad birth. 3rd degree tear, no pain relief as she came too quick and I lost 3.5 pints of blood, resulting in emergency surgery moments after she was born. I only held her for about a minute before she was taken off me, and I was so tired from the labour I found it hard to muster anything but the feeling of sheer exhaustion. Looking back it really affected those first few months as I felt robbed of my first cuddle with her, and blamed myself - which is ridiculous as it wasn't my fault it went Pete Tong but hormones made me a bit irrational. We've got an extremely close bond now though and when I becamse pregnant again all I could think was "how can I love this baby like I love DD?"

So with DS, I was very nervous the same would happen again. However it was a very quick labour, about 2 hours in total (he came 20 mins after I arrived at hospital) and was a total sneeze birth - no big bleed, no trauma, no tearing. Honestly I didn't even feel like I'd given birth. The first hold was amazing and I was beaming like a lunatic the whole day. unlike with DD, I felt instant love, which I really longed for, but still feel bad for DD that we didn't get this experience.

Hopefully you will have something like what I had with my second, a good labour and birth experience IMO makes the world of difference!

Exhausted. Thats been the primary emotion both times. Followed by sheer relief and gratitude that labour was over and I didn't have to 'do it' anymore. Followed by relief and gratitude both times that they were healthy and born.

For some people the overwhelming love comes a little bit later. The good news is that it keeps on coming if we are lucky we have so so many opportunities to love, cherish and bond with our children.

I felt amazed and couldn't stop smiling, I loved them instantly.

Ds1 they put him into his crib at the foot of my bed and told me to sleep but I would close my eyes and my brain wouldn't shut off I had to keep checking he was still alive nothing much has changed there, if he sleeps longer than expected I panic I just wanted to hold him forever, I had a pretty shite delivery ending in emergency section. My dp held him first as I was sick but then they gave him to me for the ride back to our room, that was a bit of a blur.

Ds2 planned section and held him instantly and i just kept holding him and smiling.

I couldn't believe we had created these babies and they were finally here. I try to remember those feelings when I'm up for the 16th time with ds2 during the night

I've had both experiences.

DD1: I was pleased she was there, and safe, but I was in pain, exhausted and needed to go to theatre.

There was no rush of love, people said she was gorgeous. I thought she just looked like a generic baby! She could have been anyone's.

Bonding took a good few months, the birth was traumatic, bf was excruciating, I was clueless and I'm sure now that I had PND.

Second time I had a section. They lifted DD2 up and I thought 'hello Mum!'. She was the spitting image of my mum. It was instant and I was on a total high.

Two polar opposite experiences within 18 months.

Its such a difficult thing to describe. I definitely got the rush of love and protectiveness. It was a mixture of looking at her like, wow I can't believe I've actually got a daughter and at the same time, like I'd known her forever.
The strength of my feelings shocked me, I was 19 with a unplanned baby, her dad was being a dick and walked out of the room when she was born. It was like none of that mattered though.
I can't remember saying anything, but I remember looking at my mum and she said 'I know' and she kissed my forehead.
I don't remember much of the other stuff, I know I deliverd the placenta but don't really remember doing so and at some point she was weighed and dressed, but it's all a bit of a blur as to timeings and stuff.

I don't think I even registered there was a baby in my chest for a few moments, I was just so relieved that labour was over. Then I looked at her and she looked at me and my DH said it looked like we were both thinking 'who the hell are you?'. Then I loved her haha

The very first time? I told them to get her off me. It was all too much and too overwhelming and I didn't want to touch her.
It was much better a couple of hours later once I had calmed down a bit. Probably should have seen the PND coming though!

DS1 I was a million miles away through exhaustion and terror. It had been a tricky labour and at one point everyone in the room seemed to go into panic mode prepping me for an emergency c-section and I don't remember much after that point.

DS2 was a lovely labour, easy and straightforward and my first reaction was relief.

This might sound terrible, but I don't think love and adoration and joy came into either til I came down from the adrenaline high both times. It came, and it came by the absolute bucketload. I remember the day I came home with DS1 and sitting on our sofa just staring at this bundle I'd created and feeling so overwhelmed with love I just wept. It was incredible, suddenly I felt my heart swell up and it hit me that I'd never felt love like it before. It was the most beautiful moment of my life.

With DS2 it came sooner, but was equally overwhelming. 11 and 6 years later I still have those moments where my love for them blindsides me for a minute. It's a beautiful feeling (and I'm the least soppy person on earth).

I think it can be down to the labour you've had, but it's equally as normal to not feel the rush of love after a non traumatic labour.
DD1 was a 48 hour labour, not particularly traumatic but long and exhausting. No pain relief so hasn't slept for 3 days. I felt exhaustion and relief when she was born.
DD2 was an 8 hour labour. Born an hour after getting to hospital. No trauma, no tearing, mainly felt like I'd done a big poo . Still didn't get the rush of love. I mainly just wanted to get home to DD1 who was only 19 months.
Both times we were home within 5 hours and the first stirrings of emotion came on that first night when we'd settled on the sofa and had chance to catch our breath.

Rush of love instantly with both of mine. With dd my first thoughts were she's gorgeous (not with ds though ). I instinctively put both on my chest and our bond was immediate. I also felt incredible relief that pregnancy and labor was finally over, but also that I'd do it all again in a heartbeat for this rush of pure joy

My first I felt exhausted, confused and detached. I had a long labour and had missed two nights sleep. He was early and I hadn't gone on maternity leave from work so I'd spent the first hours of labour sending emails to sort out my files and panicking about how unprepared I was to give birth.
The first thing I blurted out when the midwife handed him to me was "but he's got a cone head!" (which soon went down). He was gorgeous though and I thought he was cute but I didn't feel a strong bond straight away as he felt like a stranger. I'd had a romanticised notion of the rush of love and how natural it would feel but it wasn't like that.
My second was also early (hadn't gone on maternity leave - oops I did it again!) and was also born very fast (in the assessment room with husband arriving with just five minutes to spare). So again I felt shocked and unprepared. I felt I had really bonded her during the pregnancy but when I saw her she looked nothing like I'd expected. She was like a red, scrawny baby bird, just 5 lbs. I remember thinking "I don't know who I was expecting but it wasn't you!" But I didn't feel guilty about those feelings as I knew the love would come (and it did, with both babies). They are my world.

He heard my voice and gave a piercing cry and tried to crawl in the direction of my voice. I still cry when I think of that. That he knew his Mummy instantly. oh luchi that made me cry. how lovely.

Sorry OP, no amazing rush of love for me after traumatic birth. Just knackered, hungry and a bit dazed. Love came slowly but it did come. No PND just time needed to recover.

Good luck op and congratulations

With my first I had an emergency section and was quite out of it when I first met him so can't tell you much about it, wasn't til I had a sleep that I felt normal and quickly fell in love. With baby number 2 (just turned 6 months) it was amazing. I held her and looked at every perfect part of her and loved her so much so fast it was astounding. And I had struggled to get excited for the entire pregnancy, go figure! I was just so perfectly happy.

Just shock, really - he was born back-to-back so I saw him full-frontal as the midwife helped him out and all I remember saying is "oh - it's a boy!" and then just staring at my partner pointing at him as if to say "look! It's a baby!"

The rush of love came later. Some days I feel like I love him so much it could choke me.

Amazed, as he clearly knew I was his mum. I had an ELCS (v calm) but the one downside was that DS was taken to be weighed etc before he was given to me. He was crying the entire time he was away from me (which I thought was approximately a decade, yet DH assures me was only a couple of minutes!). I felt an almost animalistic urge to hold him and then when he was given to me he immediately stopped
crying and just looked up at me. I just couldn't believe that he knew me like that when he was so small.

Emotional. I couldn't believe she was here after such a long wait! And I thought she looked weird

No sudden rush of love for me but I'm not a very emotional person so I wasn't expecting it. I had a fairly uncomplicated induction, eight hours in all during daytime, with an epidural, so I wasn't too knackered, just run-of-the-mill tired after giving birth.

I had felt her slide down the birth canal, like a fish with shoulders, arms and legs, which was very surreal, and then they briefly took her to the other end of the room to prep her and give her a cursory wipe. After that they put her on my chest and I thought that she didn't look too bad and that I had made her and all that. However, at some point after I delivered the placenta and I was stitched, I was given the choice of either having her taken away and delivered at the room, properly washed and all, or keeping her and we would both be wheeled back to my room, at which point I said my baby was staying with me. Like I was going to let go of her.

And that was it, really, I've never let her go since. You don't need to get the big rush of love/hormones/whatever to prove that you're worthy or something. If you get it, it must be such an amazing feeling, but everyone is different and there's no right or wrong. In my case, I then went on to spend the next night getting up to feed her with the worst butt-pain ever (I believe that I had dislocated my coccyx during delivery, days/weeks later a got a couple of crunch-crunch moments when it apparently snapped back in its right position) and I just sort of cuddled and talked to her through it, so yes, you can very much love your baby and not get the famous rush.