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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what it felt like to hold your baby for the first time?

200 replies

KeplerYellow · 18/02/2017 08:20

I'm currently pregnant with my first child and wondering what it will be like when he/she is finally here. I know everyone is different, it would just be nice to hear your stories.

OP posts:
RNBrie · 18/02/2017 09:15

First one was amazing. Rush of love, etc, felt brilliant.

Second one was brilliant too. I felt I already knew her, and she was just as I'd expected so it was a bit more practical.

Third one, I'd been drip induced and it was all quite traumatic. I was pleased she was here and well but I mainly felt relief that it was over and it took me about 6 weeks to feel love for her. The first six weeks I was just going through the motions - fake it till you make it.

UnexplainedOnHerCollar · 18/02/2017 09:19

(I should add my c-sections were emergency ones and I'd already been through labour and was knackered. It might be easier with a planned section when you're well-rested.)

switswoo81 · 18/02/2017 09:20

Felt nothing of the pushing stage due to very effective epidural and she wasn't breathing so when I got her she was dressed and wrapped in a blanket I felt like I had been giving a random baby to hold. That evening when I was alone in room ( 2 bed ward with no other person) and husband, my parents and nurses had left I looked at her and felt an amazingly love but also pure fear that came from that intense love that something would happen to her or me.
I barely slept that night with the weight of the responsibility and overwhelming emotions.

girlelephant · 18/02/2017 09:22

I felt overwhelmed with love and cried with happiness. I thought he was the most amazing, beautiful thing I'd ever seen and couldn't believe we'd made him. I also felt every more love for DH but that was a little later that day.

I thought we loved DS before he was born so I was unprepared for just how much I loved him when we met him

Good luck!

Rugbyplayersarehot · 18/02/2017 09:23

Skinny agree totally threads like this are so important

formerbabe · 18/02/2017 09:23

I remember feeling so incredibly relieved that the pain was over Grin

dotdotdotmustdash · 18/02/2017 09:27

I felt exactly as Tinkerbec said upthread...

*Totally knackered and a bit meh

The next day after a sleep when I woke up and I remembered that I had a baby it was like Christmas as a child times a thousand.*

The actual birth was traumatic and I was a bit dazed, but that feeling of waking up the first time in a quiet ward and realising that your baby has arrived is awesome. Just like the feeling of waking up on Christmas morning as a child and remembering that Santa has been.

BoredOnMatLeave · 18/02/2017 09:28

Overwhelming excitement and love and then thinking god she is huge (10lb6). But what I remember the most is that she smelled amazing. I mean she probably didn't and DP didn't get that at all but I just thought it was the most amazing smell I've ever experienced.

Sweetheartyparty76 · 18/02/2017 09:28

I was expecting to be overcome with happiness after 5 years of infertility when I first held my daughter. In fact I felt rather numb. I had a long traumatic birth which ended in an EMCS and I couldn't hold her properly as I lost feeling in my arms.
Love built gradually for me and now 15 weeks later I love her with all my heart x

LexieLulu · 18/02/2017 09:29

I had two different experiences really. First born, I was scared, exhausted, relieved etc all because my labour wasn't fantastic. I don't think I felt the instant gush of love, but I had also had a lot of drugs.

My second labour, although twice the length in time I felt completely different. I had an epidural so I was fully with it and felt like myself only not in pain. When she came out I cried and felt so much love. It was so surreal as I expected the same feeling as my first labour.

I love my children equally, but my first labour didn't leave me how I expected

Bellaposy · 18/02/2017 09:29

Like she'd always been there. A feeling of 'oh there you are'!

FromDistantOphir · 18/02/2017 09:31

I felt quite detached too.
And scared shitless.
Also a bit disappointed it was a boy (can you believe!!? I can't believe that now).

Clnz4fun · 18/02/2017 09:32

If I'm completely honest, nothing but that might have been the amount of drugs that had been pumped into me and exhaustion.
I didn't give her her first bottle feed either I went to sleep and the mw did it.

Whether it happens straight away or months later it doesn't matter it will happen at some point.

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 18/02/2017 09:33

Like I was looking down a telescope. She was so near and yet seemed so far away
She is a surrogate baby so I know NOW that I was 99% sure my friend would change her mind
(Her idea to do it, and she never once wobbled love her but looking back I was shitting myself)
She was also the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Looking back at newborn photos on her birthday recently we were all laughing at her odd little face so love is certainly blind 😂)

AWhistlingWoman · 18/02/2017 09:33

Absolute mind-blowing love every time, I have had four DC. I can't even put it into words, love feels a little weak somehow! I always questioned whether I felt things as strongly as other people before but, after they were born, I couldn't imagine feeling any more than I did the first time I held them. But I have very fast labours and very quick recoveries. I do wonder if I would have felt the same way if I were exhausted or had been through a difficult labour.

First pregnancy and birth was complicated (didn't actually hold DC until two weeks old as too medically fragile) so I think definitely in the subsequent ones there was also an element of overwhelming relief that we had got to the finish line and we were all ok. Spent a long, scary time in NICU as a result of my first pregnancy so luchi's post also made me cry! It is amazing how even tiny babies recognise their mum's voice.

I delivered DC4 myself (see very fast labours above) and holding her for the first time was one of the strangest experiences of my life. She didn't cry, just looked all around her. I put her in my lap and we sat staring at another until the ambulance arrived!

HappyFlappy · 18/02/2017 09:34

Same as oohBetty.

I couldn't believe that this amazing tiny person had been in my tummy. This beautiful, beautiful baby . . . (especially the I later saw other people's babies, and how very ordinary they were compared to mine - the most delightful and perfect creature in the universe.)

Lucked · 18/02/2017 09:35

I was exhausted really long labour and forceps. I remember he didn't look anything like I expected. I had a very difficult time after with problems from the birth, breast feeding and he was a high needs baby. It was probably 4-5 weeks before I started to bond.

Second time was lovely.

LexieLulu · 18/02/2017 09:36

I remember with my first they left me to feed him. My husband went home to shower and change his clothes and I was alone.

I was absolutely petrified I'd drop him, I was falling asleep and couldn't feel my legs from a spinal block, so I couldn't put him in his cot.

I hated it, felt horrible, I cried not knowing what to do. Eventually I pressed the alarm after being alone for an hour, a midwife came in and I was hysterical.

That was my first couple of hours with my beautiful boy haha!

Littledrummergirl · 18/02/2017 09:36

Ds1, I remember the relief that he was safe and well, the feeling of wow we made this perfect human being followed by shit, we have to keep him alive.

Ds2 I delivered myself and I just remember trying to remember facts that we were likely to be asked-where the cord was etc- and how to do baby first aid while thinking breath baby, please breath. It was terrifying.

Dd was a planned home birth with midwives and pain relief. I remember the overwhelming feeling of love and that we were now a family.

All three are now teens (or nearly for dd) so we survived and kept them alive. All is good. Grin

Notapodling · 18/02/2017 09:36

I was so prepared to be realistic and not feel that rush of love, and was expecting to take time to bond that it caught me completely by surprise. I'd been in labour for almost 30 hours and ended with an emergency c section but my then dh handed him to me and this little baby looked up at me with dark curious eyes and I just burst into tears I was so happy. There was definitely also some kind of immediate chemical/hormonal reaction because the bond for me was instantaneous and pretty overwhelming.

Soubriquet · 18/02/2017 09:36

With dd I was a bit overwhelmed

I had a traumatic birth and I really didn't want to hold my baby. I happily passed her to her dad, who felt pretty much the same way!

We both tired, scared and wanted some time alone.

The love grew with her. She's my little girl

With Ds, I got that rush. My arms ached from being desperate to hold him and when dh held him, I wanted him back pretty quick.

Mummamayhem · 18/02/2017 09:38

This thread has actually been really helpful, I've agonised over my response to DS when he was born. Thank you all.

londonrach · 18/02/2017 09:38

Unreal. I mean where did she come from? Very strange feeling. The love is intense.

KindergartenKop · 18/02/2017 09:38

Ds1= relieved labour was over but a bit scared about what to do with him!
Ds2= He was very cone-headed. I was concerned there was something wrong with him but the midwives didn't bat an eyelid so I didn't worry too much.

Fooferella · 18/02/2017 09:43

Relief, terror, exhaustion, nausea and shakes from the diamorphine and 48 hrs labour but overwhelmingly I felt anxiety. I was very protective of him from the beginning but I didn't have that rush of falling in love until about 3 months when he started sleeping better and I stopped breastfeeding (I was too anxious and my flow just wasn't enough). When the love hit it was the best feeling ever. I struggled a lot with PND and anxiety until he was about 3 yrs old and had a lot of counselling. I'm much more chilled now and ds is a delightful little 6 yr old. I still wouldn't trade any of it, I love him more than anything in the world.