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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be this desperate? Or do I need a reality check?

249 replies

wellwouldyou · 11/02/2017 15:16

This is so outing, but what the hell, I've namechanged. I'm 36. I've yet to have a relationship with either the opposite sex or mine, and I'm fast approaching 'fuck it, I've given up' territory.

Someone's just shared an ad on faceache for a programme for people like me and asking for applicants.

Should I try it, thinking it can't make life much worse ... or can it?

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 11/02/2017 15:18

A programme?

Do you mean for Virgins? Or are you asexual?

Sorry, I don't understand!

Original poster
wellwouldyou · 11/02/2017 15:19

It's for people who haven't been in relationships, Walter. I'm not asexual, just ugly.

OP posts:
Gallavich · 11/02/2017 15:21

a TV programme? I'm not sure how that will help.

Waltermittythesequel · 11/02/2017 15:21

I'm sure you're not!!!

But...So these people are going to take money off you? For what? I just would be careful not to get sucked in something that's probably bullshit!

Have you tried online dating??

Original poster
wellwouldyou · 11/02/2017 15:22

Walter, seriously, are you on the right thread? Of course I've tried online dating!

OP posts:
ReturnoftheWhack · 11/02/2017 15:22

Aggghh, Well, that hurt my heart to read your second post - such a cutting opinion of yourself. What have you tried in the past to find a partner? Are you attracted to men or women? Or both?

Lilaclily · 11/02/2017 15:22

No I wouldn't

Do you want to meet anyone? Have you tried online dating?

VestalVirgin · 11/02/2017 15:22

What kind of programme?

I strongly suspect it might be a reality TV show, in which case, unless you also have no job and they pay handsomely, don't do it.

Lilaclily · 11/02/2017 15:23

Goodness you're coming across a bit aggressive

Original poster
wellwouldyou · 11/02/2017 15:23

I think I'm attracted to men, but I haven't been attracted to anybody for ages. A lot of people are convinced I'm a closet lesbian, I think. Yes, I've tried online dating, seriously, it doesn't work.

OP posts:
Original poster
wellwouldyou · 11/02/2017 15:24

Was I Lilac? Blush Sorry, unintentional! Probably fast typing :) Huge apologies Flowers

OP posts:
paddypants13 · 11/02/2017 15:25

Is it about building your confidence up and teaching you how to approach people?

If it is I think you should go for it.

Waltermittythesequel · 11/02/2017 15:26

But what is it, OP?

Slimmingsnake · 11/02/2017 15:26

No don't do it.you are no ones entertainment

Buzzardbird · 11/02/2017 15:27

Is it a television programme you are talking about? Like the Undateables sort of thing?

barinatxe · 11/02/2017 15:29

Only you can decide. You might feel like you've got nothing to lose, but is that really true? Being on TV probably will get you a date or two - but are they likely to be the sort of person you event want to date? There are massive downsides to being recognised in the street, especially when it's because you "starred" in a reality programme about people who have reached their mid-30s having never found a relationship.

Before you commit, do some research into the type of programme it is, and above all keep in mind all the potential negatives - the shame, the abuse, the misrepresentation of you.

VestalVirgin · 11/02/2017 15:30

I think I'm attracted to men, but I haven't been attracted to anybody for ages. A lot of people are convinced I'm a closet lesbian, I think. Yes, I've tried online dating, seriously, it doesn't work.

In which way does it not work?

For me it doesn't work because I am choosy and while it is easier to get to talk to people than in real life, the men there still don't meet my standards.

So, do you never get dates, do you only get one date and the guy never calls again, or what?

puglife15 · 11/02/2017 15:31

Anyone remember that programme Would Like To Meet? I loved that and felt on the whole it bettered the lives of the people on it.

But that was pre the ubiquity of social media and I'd be worried about nasty personal comments from knob head viewers affecting your self esteem.

So I'd think very carefully.

puglife15 · 11/02/2017 15:33

Why not apply, find out more, they might decide you're not right for it and you can always pull out at any stage if you're not keen.

whippetwoman · 11/02/2017 15:35

No-one is ugly! Everyone has something that is beautiful about them. Don't think of yourself as ugly, think about your good points because I bet you have loads of them!

Rainydayspending · 11/02/2017 15:35

I'd steer clear. If men YOU've chosen fall short then i doubt it would be better with fame hungry people.

Emmageddon · 11/02/2017 15:36

I don't think you should do it. Work on your self-esteem instead, why do you say you're ugly? Is it something that has been said about you? Or are you just not conventionally pretty?

The programme Undateables makes me feel uneasy, using people with learning difficulties as entertainment fodder.

dailyshite · 11/02/2017 15:36

Do you genuinely not realise that your reply to Walter was aggressive?

Would you normally talk to people like that?

Both genuine questions and not intended as a criticism.

WooWooSister · 11/02/2017 15:37

Do you mean a TV programme? Or a programme as in a course?
If the former then I think you need to want to be on TV as much or more than you want a relationship. If your only motivation is to find a relationship then I'm not sure a TV programme is the automatic step to take. However, if you like the idea of being on TV and want a relationship, then apply after researching the company and the format

LexieLulu · 11/02/2017 15:39

I believe there is someone out there for everyone. I'm sure you're not ugly, there is someone who fancies you.

What online dating did you try. Please don't give up